How do you deal with FOMO and morality when it comes to casual sex?

obersharky · 2025-08-29T14:36:28+00:00

"Getting lays is hard unless you approach 20 women / week" dude if you get laid one out of 20 approaches (with hot girls) you're a seduction king not sure what's hard about that. In night game you will approach more than that per night...

As for FOMO what exactly is stopping you from doing night game if you want??

I don't think you're a hypocrite. You probably won't find such a woman in clubs though so it's better to stick to DG and online dating.

cinammonbear · 2025-08-29T15:48:26+00:00

Be the man you want your partner to want. If you want to attract someone with similar morals and ethics then you already have your answer. There is a balance between being seen as a sexually attractive partner and being seen as a morally just man. Unfortunately you’re getting into manipulation territory. You can attract pure girls while you yourself being dirty but expect to have to work. Some of those girls are often wanting to explore their dirty side and want someone they feel comfortable doing that with. Just know they may keep going down that road with or without you depending on how competent you are.

HumanContract · 2025-08-29T22:40:20+00:00

Just bc you want, doesn't mean you can. Your friends are lying about their experiences. Men in relationships get more sex. If a girl you liked heard your friends or your stories of sex clubs and prostitutes, she'd walk. Now imagine trying to pick up chicks while you have stds. Imagine the type you're going for also have the same. You have no room to ask for values when you have none.

Independent_Lock_873 · 2025-08-29T18:15:13+00:00

Just here to say that this post really resonated. I’m often in the same quandary as OP.

norwegiandoggo · 2025-08-29T14:41:52+00:00

Yes you would be hypocrite wanting a "pure" woman when you have been anything but pure yourself. But our desires are often hypocritical and that's okay.

I have had my fair share of casual fun, but my girlfriend had very little. And we still get along great.

It's more about what you can get - than any morality issue. If you can get a pure girl while being a player yourself, all good. If you can't, well maybe be more open minded about your options.

Fomo comes from social comparison. If you're happy, why does it matter what other guys are doing? I remember from going out to nightclubs it typically went as follows:

80% of the time it sucked and I would rather have stayed at home.

15% of the time I had fun and it was worth it. But i still didn't get any sex. Maybe a makeout.

5% of the time: sex.

So what are you really missing out on? The highlights. But you're also missing out on all those super lame nights - which is a good thing. Your friends never tell you about the 10 lame nights at the club. They only tell you about that 1 time it was awesome.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-08-29T14:34:29+00:00

- Should I stop going for casual sex, or should I accept the double standard and think: “Yes, it’s a double standard, but I’m a man, so that’s okay”?

Yes, but rather than saying: "It's a double standard, but im a man so that's ok"

it's more like you say:

"It's a double standard, but it's just how i feel, and that's ok" (because you say so)

You don't negotiate wiht women, you don't argue, you don't make this a gender issue, you simply say "It's just how i feel" period. You don't try to mae her understand, or try to reason, or try to justify yourself, or try to rationalize anything.

You just say over and over when someone questions your actions or hipocrisy, "it's just how i feel" and be willing to let go any girl who doesn't accept it.

What i wouldn't do is to bring up this stuff, unless she brings it up first and i wouldn't frame it as a "negotiation", but rather as an expression of my honest desires without making it sound like i want or expect her to approve of them.

ThatDarnSmell · 2025-08-29T19:00:07+00:00

Here's a common sense hack: you'll have tons of sex when you're in a long term relationship. My ex-wife and I had sex probably over 2500+ times. Find someone you really like and the sex will be a dessert of the relationship. Just be sure that you're both compatible in multiple other areas beyond the physical and have other common ground. If you know you like her body, then make a considerable effort getting to know her and how you may operate as a couple/team.

liftingnstuff · 2025-08-29T19:39:53+00:00

Yes you can do night game outside in the city's nightlife section. But I would recommend trying some quieter bars or lounges before that if you don't like louder clubs. Lots of different types of nightlife venues and just like when you first started learning daygame its all about putting yourself in uncomfortable scenarios and learning.

Are your standards hypocritical? Sure, maybe. But does it matter? If you have abundance you can afford to be picky. Your standards being hypocritical doesn't matter if you have optionality. That's the way the dating market works.

FixAccomplished9993 · 2025-08-30T09:29:54+00:00

True game is played in logistics.

And as someone who's heavily considered night game, the logistics are just horrible.

expensive
hard to talk to people due to loud music
the lays are worse because you're all drunk af
the attractive women have their guards way up

The men who get a lot of success in night game are the ones who figure out the logistics beforehand. For example, simply working as a bartender makes it much better to get laid via night game or living right next to a club. Some people make sure to have VIP booths so they can easily build attraction.

You are free to waste your time but I'm at a point in my life where I don't care about rejection because women rejecting you mean absolutely nothing since how they choose men is so arbitrary and shallow.

I care about my time being wasted more than anything and that's how I've stayed success in this game for this long.

Nearby_Advance7443 · 2025-08-29T18:25:38+00:00

Damn. I tend to love my slutty women. I approach it with a desire for a like-minded partner, myself. But your post is very well-worded and insightful. I like how some of the other comments on here emphasize that it’s ok to feel this way even if it’s hypocritical. Obviously, don’t be shitty to anybody. If a woman you want to maybe date turns out she turns herself out too much for your liking, just approach it with the mentality that you two aren’t right for each other. From your tone, you seem like you’d be capable of having these desires but still treating those who you don’t want with dignity.

Extension-Bid-9938 · 2025-09-01T17:03:26+00:00

Stay away from swinger parties. There's already too many desperate single guys standing around hoping to get laid. Almost all"those horny women" are with a partner and are looking for couples. Gangbangs would be better, they are pay to play usually so it's guaranteed.

CoachSlyDating · 2025-09-05T02:36:10+00:00

Sounds like you want to have your cake and eat it too. Maybe you can find a “pure” girl who will go along with it. She saves herself to end up with a guy who is a sex addict… seems unlikely. If you want to attract quality, you need to be quality yourself. You can take a balanced approach to this. Have fun, work on your game, but be more selective in who you sleep with.

Fit_Employment_2595 · 2025-08-29T22:42:36+00:00

You're overthinking this

Title	How do you deal with FOMO and morality when it comes to casual sex?
Author	AndalusianMitsubishi
Upvotes	23
Comments	17
Date	August 29, 2025 2:23 PM UTC (10 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1n38tko/how_do_you_deal_with_fomo_and_morality_when_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-do-you-deal-with-fomo-and-morality-when-it.1560812 https://theredarchive.com/post/1560812

Comments