Accept,not hate?

GladysSchwartz23 · 2025-10-25T02:36:46+00:00

You need to get past the idea that relationships are inevitably transactional. They can be, but the idea that all of them are is a lie told by grifters who want you to be lonely and sad so you'll keep consuming their content.

Miners-Not-Minors · 2025-10-25T02:25:29+00:00

So you think all potential women to date expect you to have a job? Depending on your age and your motivation - unless you are not trying to work and fully capable to, that would be a barrier but don’t tell yourself it’s about money, because I don’t think it is.

mylesaway2017 · 2025-10-25T02:44:32+00:00

I don't know man. I've known a lot of women who've dated dudes without jobs and provided for them. Some women don't care about the man being the bread winner.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2025-10-25T03:04:10+00:00

Depends on what their life goals are. If a woman wants to raise a family, it is completely rational to want a partner who can financially support the family along with her. A woman who wants to be child free may not care as much. So it depends on your life goals and hers

Personal_Dirt3089 · 2025-10-25T04:08:02+00:00

Not all women are the same. Not all women want the same thing. I have met plenty of women that seemed to date exclusively broke men.

VisceralSardonic · 2025-10-25T05:21:26+00:00

I say this without any defensiveness or hate, because I know you're just trying to accept how the world is working. Fortunately for all of us though, that one isn't any less of a lie than the rest of the redpill stereotypes. Yes, some women want to stay home with the baby or have a partner who pays for the dates, but it's 2025. That matters a *lot* considering that we don't have to depend on a man anymore. Many of us want to be able to take care of our own needs, want to have a guy around only if we authentically like him, and live our lives accordingly.

I'm the breadwinner in my relationship by choice. My boyfriend doesn't work right now, and I'm just happy I can provide for him. My best friends are in a relationship where she has a modest but steady income and he has an inconsistent, almost always low or (at times) literally nonexistant income. He has been the breadwinner for brief periods, but she makes sure the bills are covered no matter what is going on with his business, and she's not waiting on him to be rich. Both of us are in our relationships because we love our dudes-- unconditionally, nontransactionally, and literally solely because of who they are as people. Neither of these situations is the singular most common one out there, but we're not even close to the only ones.

The myth that all men only get love based on financial contributions, just like most other all/nothing 'Rules' out there, can be examined and easily disproven with critical thought and real world examples. Why are there wives caring for their husbands until their deaths, long after his retirement, in cases where she could get alimony or 'half of everything' if she divorced him? Why would you not see women leaving their partners literally weekly when they meet a richer man? The world would look absolutely cartoonish and horrific if we were all singularly and blindly driven by money and men received no real love.

I'm truly sorry that this one is still convincing in your life. That sucks, but that doesn't mean that you're not going to encounter real love. If you find a girl who only wants you for your money, fucking *leave her*. She's shallow and there's much better out there.

IndicationForeign894 · 2025-10-25T07:00:37+00:00

"I remember when I knew a woman liked me personally but I didn’t have a job at the time so I didn’t pursue her cause I knew that wouldn’t last."

?? So YOU had an idea of the world where men without money dont amount to anything so YOU decided not to pursue. Did you even ask what the woman thought? Stop pushing your own negative view of things onto other people! Most likely they dont think the same way and you end up doing this self fulfilling prophecy shit by assuming and projecting.

LolliaSabina · 2025-10-25T05:09:22+00:00

There are shallow women who only want to date guys with massive incomes, just like there are shallow dudes who only want to date perfect 10s with long blonde hair and blue eyes. For both sexes, that may be what a lot of people would LIKE, but it's far from a requirement for the vast majority of them. (There are plenty of guys who are unemployed or broke or have low wage jobs who are in relationships.)

I think for the majority of women, they don't necessarily need you to be bringing in six figures, they just want to know that you're a reliable guy who's not gonna sit around on your butt all day playing Helldivers. That you're going to go to your job every day, that you can keep a job, and that if something were to happen to your job, that you would be able to get a new one. And I think that's all pretty fair… most men wouldn't want to date a woman who kept getting fired or wouldn't go out and find a job and just watched TikToks all day. It just says that a person is flaky and unreliable.

I think the danger in believing things like "women care about financial security more than anything else" is, not only is it a massive generalization about 50% of humans, but then it goes hand in hand with other, worse conclusions.

If you believe that women only care about money and being provided for, the next step is believing that women are always on the prowl for someone with MORE money. And that leads to believing that women are inherently fickle and heartless and don't give a crap about relationships or connection, just cash. And if you get to the point where you believe that, then, frankly, you've arrived at misogyny.

OrchidReverie · 2025-10-25T08:47:43+00:00

Bargaining < you are at this step.

myst1236 · 2025-10-28T22:30:44+00:00

I think a lot of the time women are more into the ambition, motivation and drive that comes with having a job. Typically people in higher paying jobs show those traits more. It’s why being passionate about something is an attractive trait. I personally do not care how much money someone makes but if there’s chances for progression/promotion then I’d want them to take it, just because it shows they care about what they do and want to grow. Especially if the original job isn’t paying enough for basic necessities and they’d need to be supported by the partner

Silent-Hunter-7285 · 2025-10-29T07:17:02+00:00

The biggest thing with this, is that the guy isn't a lazy bum. If they are trying desperately to get a job and can't find one, then that isn't necessarily their fault. If they are up front about wanting to be a stay-at-home husband, than that is fine as long as your doing some work around the house, ect. It isn't about the job, it's about what a lack of trying to find a job, and/or not being upfront about wanting to be a stay at home husband, implies about what your going to actually contribute to the relationship. A woman can't be "Bread winner, home maker, parental figure ect ect." While the guy does literally nothing and it is expected that she does everything. And the same vice versa, would you want to be in a relationship with someone who ends up just being a dependent (that isn't disabled) and does NO work around the house? Part of having a partner is you guys can help take some of the load off the work you need to do, and not having a job is a red flag of a guy who will only add stress.

My own bf, who didn't have a job until recently, was called into question by my own dad do to lack of income. It is a sign women's parents say are red flags of a person who will be abusive. But in this economy, I can't really say that is accurate anymore.

For me personally, as long as you are TRYING to get a job, and in the meantime help around the house, so I can relax a bit after work, it doesn't bother me. Heck if I knew I could make enough to be comfortable without my current partner working I wouldn't mind him not taking a job. Why? He was very upfront about not minding being a stay-at-home husband, and he keeps his sh*t clean for me to believe he would do things to help take the load off.

Context really does matter for me, and many women. It's just this want has been sensationalised to, "women only date men with 5x the figures of them" When in reality, we just can't afford literally to not have a person not pay rent if we're gonna seriously consider dating them.

Polish_Girlz · 2025-10-29T23:40:17+00:00

Well this woman liked you even though at the time you didn't have a job. Might I ask why you didn't pursue it? Do you feel like this redpill stuff made you drop it? Because I frankly think this shit is devastating relationships. I can't even get away from it on my FB. I'm still inundated with this stuff.

I used to think that leftists were crazy and 'woke' when they said 'words are violence.' Now I don't know.

wildgift · 2025-10-26T19:52:39+00:00

That's capitalism and the patriarchy.

Title	Accept,not hate?
Author	harlemhellraiser
Upvotes	0
Comments	17
Date	October 25, 2025 1:50 AM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/1offjpl/acceptnot_hate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/acceptnot-hate.1564938 https://theredarchive.com/post/1564938

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