I split this post into 3 parts.
Part 1: ANA'S VIDEO.
https://youtu.be/fIKOzxjKDQ8?si=Ts_SCB9L5_lh5OlS
There is this trend of women being upset with Dating apps. And I always wonder, where is all this anger for dating apps coming from. And then I reached the 8:40 mark of the video. And immediately shout out BINGO, after hearing what Ana said.
She doesn't like that some men (definitely not all men) benefit from dating apps.
Dating apps disrupt the old dating ecosystem in a way that benefits some men and reduces women’s control.
Women used to “gatekeep” dating via in-person filtering.
Apps replace that with an algorithm women don’t control.
And yes,apps amplify a minority of men (top 10–20%) while leveling the field for average men.
This feels to some women like:
“The wrong men are getting access.”
Part 2: THE MOTTE AND BAILEY.
So in an odd way I think Ana is trying to promote men cold approaching women, without saying it here. Basically doing this motte and bailey, of having a controversial opinion like men cold approaching women (the irony of cold approaching being a red-pill PUA tactic). And the motte being that dating apps take away genuine human connections.
Again Ana doesn’t explicitly say it, but she’s implying:
“We need to go back to men approaching women in person.”
Why?
Because in-person filtering puts women back in the dominant position:
They can reject without penalty
They regain control over who approaches them
Dating apps disrupt this.
But Ana cannot directly say, “Men should cold approach women more,” because:
That sounds red-pill
It aligns with PUA
It contradicts the mainstream cultural stance that cold approaching = creepy/predatory
Women don’t want to openly encourage behaviors they complain about
And it would expose the contradiction
So she uses the “Motte and Bailey”. This lets her enable the controversial stance without owning it.
So I see the game Ana is trying to play here. Even the comment section can see the game Ana is playing here. With some comments asking Ana "What's the alternative to dating apps?".
Part 3: THE CYCLE OF SHIT.
We also know all the demonization that comes with men cold approaching men. All men are viewed as predators, creeps, or violent. And people like Ana still want that set up for women when it's convenient.
This is what I call the cycle of shit. Where men are encouraged to do something, then demonize for doing it, and finally men are mocked for not doing it anymore. And the cycles continue. I.E. the cycle of shit.
The contradiction: Women want cold approaches… but only from the right men
This is where the “cycle of shit” becomes visible.
Women (generally) want:
organic interactions
male initiative
men to risk rejection
in-person chemistry
But the culture simultaneously teaches:
any cold approach is harassment
men should “leave women alone”
men who approach are creeps (unless attractive).
men should “be respectful” and wait for clear signals (but there usually aren’t any)
Women want the benefits of male initiative without the discomfort of unwanted male initiative.
This paradox is deeply entrenched.
The “cycle of shit” is essentially:
Step 1: Encourage men to do something
“Be confident! Take initiative! Approach women!”
Step 2: Demonize men for doing it
“He approached me, gross, creepy, predatory.”
Step 3: Mock men for NOT doing it anymore
“Men today are socially awkward, passive, lonely, or incels". And oh yeah don't forget about all the homophobic and toxic masculinity shaming here.
Then the cycle repeats.
This is identical to what Scott Alexander
Male gender roles are mandatory but also punishable.
Men must perform masculinity, but performing masculinity is risky and failing masculinity is shameful.
Women get emotional double-binds too, but the male version hits harder because:
the risk is public
the blame is social
the consequences can be reputational or legal
Society still needs male roles for family building, and romance… but it refuses to admit this openly.
So instead:
it indirectly pressures men to behave a certain way
then denies that pressure exists
then blames men when things collapse
Ana’s video is just the intellectualized version of that.
So in conclusion: Again it's the same energy as Scott and in this article here.
https://www.reddit.com/r/LeftWingMaleAdvocates/s/RlNa3Dsdnx
The goal of always making sure male gender roles are enforced on men in some shape or form.
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