TL;DR: After a 10-year marriage and a 5-year struggle with my wife's alcoholism, she's said she doesn't want to be with me anymore due to repeating arguments and problems the alcohol caused. She's cold, she chose alcohol and not getting help. She said 'I don't want it, if I get help it would be for you' and I'm devastated. I'm an emotional only-child with no family, my residency in the EU is tied to her, I have almost no money, and I'm about to lose our pet my only family. I feel too weak to handle this and don't know how to start.

I don't know where else to turn. I (42M) am a non-EU citizen living in Portugal. My wife is EU ending our 10-year marriage. I am completely broken and feel physically ill from the grief.

For the past 5 years, I've been the "understanding husband" while she struggled with alcoholism. The lying, the deception, the chaos, I absorbed it all, believing she would eventually get help. I was the rock. She always said, "We will never say divorce, no matter what." Today, she told me she doesn't want to be with me anymore. Her reason? My "reactions" to her lies and the "negativity" that came with her addiction. When I've begged her to get professional help, she says, "I'll do it for you, I don't want it."

The cruelest part? She shows no emotion. No regret, no sadness. Just a cold, grumpy face. This from the woman who was once so vulnerable. It's like she's a different person.

My world is collapsing in every way:

Legal/Residency: My right to live in Portugal (and before that, another EU country) is through her. I am terrified of being deported with nowhere to go.

Financial: I just started making a little money as a freelancer. I have no savings, no stock. She has wealth, family, a support system. I have nothing.

Isolation: All my family has passed away. I haven't been to my own country in 10 years and have no friends there. I am utterly alone here.

The "Family" We Made: This destroys me the most. We have a 10-year-old cat and a 5-year-old dog. They were our children.

I was an only child in a family where you didn't just "walk away" from living beings and shared history. I've always been the emotional, sensitive one. Now, I feel that sensitivity is drowning me. The thought of starting over at 42, with no safety net, no family, and this immense grief, makes me feel like I can't go on. I've never imagined this day.

I'm posting here because I need to hear from people who have been through this.

How do you survive the practical hell when you have no resources? If anyone has experience with EU residency after a divorce, please, any direction is a lifeline.

How do you grieve when the person you loved has become a cold stranger? How do you find the strength to fight for one thing (like my cat) when you want to give up on everything?

I feel weak and helpless. Any advice, similar stories, or just "I survived, and you will too" would mean more than you know. Thank you for reading.