I'm not a guru or anything just a guy who came to a realisation.

Me (22M) and my ex-girlfriend of 3 years broke up in January and since then, I've been trying as hard as I can to get laid as much as I can for no particular reason other than just wanting to do it.

In the 4 months afterward I only slept with 2 girls which was disheartening. Met one on a dating app and another through a friend but it just didn't work out. Then I went to asia over the summer, met an amazing girl where I hung out with her everyday for a week and honestly I just couldn't let go of how I felt. That's when I decided to maximise my chances of finding someone as attractive and interesting as her by reading books and optimising my dating profile. After that, landed back home with a profile full of international pictures, good prompts and hingeX, I was essentially matching as much as I could with 4 dates in a week at one point.

Unfortunately I just couldn't keep up financially as a student and eventually tapered down to where I'm at now dating 2 girls with plans to make one of them my girlfriend at some point down the line.

Now, what's interesting is the statistics on this. So in the past 2 months I've gone out on dates with 7 women, of which I have slept with 6, 5 of which were on the first date. I feel like these past 2 months I've been at the top of my game and I can summerise into 1 reason.

  1. Just not caring. I got to a point where I could just have sex when I wanted it and I feel like once that realisation seeped in, there just wasn't really that urge in me to go for it. And I think that helped, I still went on dates but there was no pressure, no pressure to perform, or do well, or say the right things, no figuring out when I should kiss or hug or ask her to come back to mine. Just genuinely enjoying each other's time. I think, this is when models by Mark manson finally clicked for me, just be yourself, be honest (at times)

The problem is, I've still never approached a girl in my life and that's still bugging at me, and it will until I actually do it. But I don't think this will happen anytime soon as I'll probably have a girlfriend soon and this may be my exit from this community. But may stay for the inner game, there's a lot to be done for my mental health, my health and just being the best I can be.

For reference I'm chubby (BMI of 29), balding, tall and have no job. I feel like the tallness gets me in the door but actually keeping someone around is all on your personality.