Hi Reddit, I’m a man in my late 20s with a 4-year-old daughter. I’m looking for advice from single dads or anyone who can share experiences relevant to my current situation. I want to divorce my wife. Over the last year or two, during our arguments or even during casual talks about divorce, she has mentioned several times that she isn’t happy and doesn't want to raise our child.

My wife has been a full-time stay-at-home mom for just a year now. She used to work, but because her career hit a wall and she was stressed, I suggested she resign. She agreed and mentioned wanting to apply for a Master’s degree. I encouraged her to enroll in IELTS prep classes, but she hasn't made a move. Instead, there's just been gaslighting, complaining, and blaming others or her circumstances whenever she feels unfulfilled or when our daughter gets fussy. There are more details, but I don’t want to get too specific or badmouth my wife.

The point of this post is that I also want to get full custody of my daughter. However, whenever I think about the logistics of caring for her, I get confused. My job requires me to be away from home about 50-60% of the time—usually working for a month and then having about two weeks off. I’m at a loss as to who would look after my daughter while I'm out of town.

My own parents are divorced and live on different state. I’ve discussed this with my in-laws, and they are willing to care for my daughter; they said they understand whatever decision I make. But honestly, I feel bad about burdening them, and I feel sorry for my daughter if she has to grow up away from both her mom and dad, being raised by her grandparents, this is the main reason I kept stalling filing for divorce. On the other hand, I can't bear the thought of my daughter having to deal with her mother's "episodes" for the next dozen or so years while I am not home.