A lot of women see men using this phrase as a red flag. They claim usually the man provoked the woman to be “crazy”. I also hate the term “crazy ex girlfriend” but for a different reason.

When I hear a guy use the phrase, I just think: You mean abusive. She was abusive.

When women are bad we call them “crazy” or psycho which minimises the damage done and makes it out like the man isn’t a real victim and the woman isn’t in control of her actions. This dismissal leads to male victims and female perpetrators not being taken seriously. I don’t want to blame the men who call their ex partners crazy; they are told constantly that men are the abusive ones. I think this comes from the idea that men are active and women are passive. Violent women often use men as vessels to enact their violence and when they themselves are violent, it’s dismissed. Women are seen as the ones who receive, whether it’s good or bad. But that’s not true.