So I'm in the military. My spouse and I have been married short of 10 years. We separated at 7 years, pausing the divorce for a couple years due to my spouse needing Tricare for a medical issue. I live in a different state from them and I understand that there are different rules per state in the divorce realm.

We came up with an agreement (allegedly) for (x) percentage of my military retirement, and (x) percentage of my TSP, around year 9. We covered parenting plans and custody, with my spouse receiving 100%. (None of this is in writing, all verbal)

Recently, after paying for their lawyer (which I originally though was "our" lawyer) I have come to realize I don't want (x) percentage of my military retirement to go to them for the rest of my life. I'm fine with the lump sum % of my TSP, and I'm fine with paying alimony for (x) amount of years--it's just the rather PERMANENT paying of them from my retirement that I can't comfortably get behind.

A Petition for Divorce has been drafted by their lawyer, and all I need to do is sign it and send it back, but I feel sick thinking of the permanent financial drain that will impose upon me for the rest of my life, if I were to retire.

Additionally, I told them how uncomfortable I am with the (x) percentage of my military retirement, and they said if we go to court, they'll ask for 50%.

All this to be said, I am having trouble finding legal advice here in the real world, as I can't afford a consultation (among other roadblocks, promise I'm not being lazy) and thought I might try here for some brainpower.

Should I just sign and send, or is it worth going to court?

TLDR; Active duty, married just under 10 years. Separated at 7, paused divorce so spouse could keep TRICARE. We had a verbal agreement for a % of my military retirement and TSP, plus full custody to them — nothing in writing.

Now their lawyer (who I paid for) drafted the petition, and I’m not okay with permanently giving up part of my retirement. I’m fine with a TSP split and term alimony, but they’re threatening to ask for 50% in court if I don’t sign. Can’t afford legal advice and feeling stuck.