When guys say women tend to go for jerks, what is the jerk behavior?

Prior-Impression-871 · 2026-04-03T06:55:48+00:00

A lot of the time, I think though I'm not a man, it's about the man's treatment towards the girl - a jerk who won't commit, at least micro cheats, etc

I've proposed an alternative reason as to why it happens though. Men often settle for women who love them - but unfortunately aren't the 18yo instagram baddies of their dreams. Therefore, they quickly learn they can get away with pretty much anything since she loves them and won't leave

DietTyrone · 2026-04-03T23:13:02+00:00

Literally all the things women complain about when they finally get fed up and leave these dudes.

"He's a narcissist," "he's egotistical," "he's emotionally manipulative," he's not emotionally available," ect ect. All the shit they only say after the fact regarding their "toxic" ex who they're on and off with, then proceed to chase the same type of guy at least a few more times for good measure.

Girlonlinee · 2026-04-03T04:27:30+00:00

Speaking as someone who grew up within an extremely toxic family in the hood:

women who specifically go for men with felonies, such as via prison pen pal type arrangements
women who date within a specific gang (i guess most you upper middle class people here wouldnt have any experience of this)
women who outright say things like "i need a man who controls me" or "i need a man who can fight, i really like it when my man fights other men" (yes i have heard these exact words)
women who date the plug, or some other person that objectively is a stain on society and harmful to his own community
women who keep coming back to the abuser and defending him because they love the emotional rollercoaster

you might be thinking "oh that's just a lower class thing". you forget that whatever the vulgar hoi polloi are doing is a reflection of the human id, that's why upper and middle class people are forever imbibing from the well of hood culture, slumming it, etc. to get in touch with their feral side. it's fun for them in a safe way. but it reflects something about their internal workings.

it feels like women despise anything boring. abusive, violent, felonious, manipulative, cheating, high extraversion, low FTO men are many things but not boring. that doesn't mean every woman is retarded enough to pick such a man but... there's a strain of drama or thrill seeking in women that is linked to the "dangerousness" of a man. shit, you can read about it in gone with the wind. women love a heathcliff figure. some dark, mysterious, forceful guy with issues, who brings conflict in his wake, that she can save.

if we assert that women in aggregate have zero attraction to toxic behavior in men that's just fucking cap. then none of the gang members, drug dealers, beaters, cheaters, etc that i witnessed while growing up would've gotten pussy or been able to hold onto their girlfriends but it was quite the opposite. those are non-boring traits, no matter what else one says about them, and women love non-boring.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-04-03T08:43:22+00:00

RP would say women are not attracted to the mistreatment itself. They are attracted to the confidence, edge, dominance, and non-neediness those guys have. The problem is that a lot of jerks come with bad behavior attached, and that still gets tolerated because the attraction is strong enough.

Logos1789 · 2026-04-03T00:20:31+00:00

It’s usually social dominance that you can’t call out in the moment without being made out to be a problem, and therein lies the dominance:

It’s a display of social status, because if it were a low status man doing the same thing, someone would likely have the courage to counter it because it wouldn’t cost as much social capital.

It’s unacknowledged because it’s meta and people don’t like unpacking their bias and inner workings.

It’s similar to how “being cool” and “being classy” is not needing to try hard yet having a good life regardless

SeemedGood · 2026-04-03T01:19:20+00:00

https://np.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/s/8T8uklni6D

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Head-Living2526 · 2026-04-04T04:10:20+00:00

Oh, they aren't talking about you, or guys with girlfriends lol. Any guy can get a girlfriend if he's willing to accept average. A typical guy in a typical relationship is likely less of a jerk than a single guy, or a player.

They mean actual players (top 5%) who sleep with lots of women. And it's a mix of jealous projection, and also these men being able to get away with more bad behaviour (they don't have more bad behaviour, they just get let off of the bad behaviour they do show).

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-04-03T11:20:20+00:00

When guys say women tend to go for jerks, what is the jerk behavior?

The jerk behavior is not being them. That's what they're salty about.

Women do not generally prefer jerks. But some men think that saying so makes them look better or validates them for being single (single=obviously not a jerk, only jerks get the chicks). Which is a bit pathetic but mostly sad - you don't actually NEED validation, being single doesn't make you any less of a man/woman and it's not a failure.

Title	When guys say women tend to go for jerks, what is the jerk behavior?
Author	harmonica2
Upvotes	9
Comments	18
Date	April 2, 2026 2:54 AM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1sa5mv3/when_guys_say_women_tend_to_go_for_jerks_what_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/when-guys-say-women-tend-to-go-for-jerks-what-is.1577021 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577021

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