Loneliness

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2026-06-02T17:41:01+00:00

Everyone is different and there's no timeline. My kids are with me full time and I kept the marital home and all animals.

That being said, I was at the grocery store yesterday and there's a specific brand of salsa and chips my ex and I would always get. We'd watch a movie and chow down. Seeing that bag made me think about that memory. I got a little in my feels but just understand that's normal.

I can be a smell, song, food, anything. For me, we were married 20 years. Most of it good. But she decided to sleep around and I ended it. Life goes on.

Independent_Fluff · 2026-05-30T23:34:01+00:00

I don't think it fully goes away but I've learned to enjoy my own company. I did everything in my power not to sit in silence my first year so I don't feel lonely, whether it was chasing women, validation, etc.

I think part of the healing process is embracing the loneliness. Sending you support, man, hang in there! 🤝

No-Tomorrow8150 · 2026-05-30T21:45:10+00:00

Missing places will fade. Especially if you create new places.

thetituscodex · 2026-05-30T19:04:41+00:00

Loneliness and depression is you focusing on your own misery. Do things that make you feel good, not drugs or alcohol ... those are liars. If you let your demons convince you that you aren't good enough, you won't be good enough. You are your own worst critic ... stop it and go do something fun.
Like Pickleball or something you have ALWAYS wanted to do, but couldn't because of your spouse. When people see you genuinely smiling and doing something you enjoy, you will become a magnet. Tell those demons to shut their pieholes and get to living.

UsefulNewt9023 · 2026-05-30T15:58:51+00:00

Your kids, place, son's cat. Yeah, man.

The loneliness shifts, but not by itself. Time alone doesn't heal it. What you do with the time does. And you have to want it.

The pain you're describing, missing them, missing the place, the cat, is it the things themselves, or something underneath them?

What have you done differently since?

Key_Display_4189 · 2026-05-30T12:32:33+00:00

All of these folks are giving great advice. However that only lasts a certain amount of time until you really start feeling lonely when you are unpartnered.

I've done the same things worked on myself have my own hobbies been social but guess what... After 5 years it's gotten real lonely going to bed alone every fucking night.

And the days I don't go out and I don't have my kids I'm just sitting at home alone.

Yes I have friends and when you go out with your friends and they have their partners or husbands/wives and you're alone it's very noticeable as well.

If you are longing for a relationship it's very lonely if you don't want a relationship and your mindset is staying alone then I guess it's not as bad

funzys · 2026-05-30T04:24:14+00:00

Yeah man, it really does. That’s not to say every thing will be great. I found myself creating new routines without realizing it right away. When I did, I noticed that the loneliness morphed into solitude. And that’s when the real education happens. Hang in there.

cleanstart2026 · 2026-05-30T02:45:30+00:00

Hit the gym go for a hike or the beach get out of the house start reading books educating your mind I feel like that sometimes and it goes away over time time will heal you just gotta work with it

Slowloris81 · 2026-05-30T02:37:33+00:00

Yes. But it takes time and effort. My life is so much richer than ever with quality people and quality time with kids. But it took a few years to rebuild.

Meanwhile definitely lean on this group to help you get there.

nutscrape · 2026-05-30T02:36:18+00:00

I'm less lonely now than I was when I was married.

How much time do you have with your kids? Are you getting out of your home whenever you can?

Ok_Builder_3285 · 2026-05-30T02:33:30+00:00

I have my kids full time (I know I’m lucky in that), but I’m still horribly lonely. It’s been 5+ years. It only gets worse.

RunPeaceRun · 2026-05-30T02:31:38+00:00

🫂

Title	Loneliness
Author	ph00Kredetbot
Upvotes	14
Comments	18
Date	May 30, 2026 2:21 AM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1trn2l5/loneliness/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/loneliness.1581633 https://theredarchive.com/post/1581633

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