What your divorce decree doesn’t protect you from financially

Gattsama · 2026-06-18T05:26:46+00:00

I was worries about this happening so in the final divorce settlement it stated all communal debts to be paid 50/50, I would assume payment, her half was subtracted from her portion of the home equity sale, a separate check was cut for each debt, and then I used those checks to pay off th communal debts (most importantly the IRS).

Extra BS. Once all the combined accounts started to close we either fot the money deposited to the joint account or a personal check (normally with my name or both names on it).

I get a check for like $1k, I text her I'm forwarding her 50% and will do so going forward. We then get about $1k in the joint checking account (different account closing). The next day it turns out at like 1am she went to 3 different ATMs and withdrew all of that money (no split).

So after that I just kept all the checks that game to me. I would update the joint account daily and 'try' to take out half of what showed up. But I work and she doesn't, so she beat me to that.

I'm the end she got an extra $1500-2000 from the ATM, but missed about $5k in checks. I share and laugh because this is so typical of her BS and outcome. So focused on the carrot in front of her, she missed out on the long game and big hual.

Her actions during the divorced wasted ~$400k of potential wealth. I made the beat offer possible when I filed for divorce (50/50 + spousal support + a ton of freebies [moving expenses, storage, 1st/last mo rent at a new place, etc]). She refused, lawyer-ed up and proceeded to waste a ton of money, refuse to sell the house, changed attorneys twice, etc.

End of the day she also extorted me to finally get the house sold and what ultimately ended up being a 55/45 split (mind you the only person whom ever contributed a dollar to the place was myself).

I am actually thankful she acted this way. It 100% removed any remaining doubt, guilt, sympathy, worry, concern I had for her; or that concern that I filed. I accept that the system is fundamentally broken. I knew I would have to pay, and I did. Final spousal support just ended! She got a ton of up front money, but lost access to me.

I can, and will, make more money. I still have my degrees and career. Even when paying a shit ton of spousal support (thankfully no kids) I still had more discretionary income than during the marriage. I was saving more, investing more. I have never been more peaceful and stress-free.

Ultimately I will have more money post divorce. Because I am no longer support another human or our lifestyle (again I take responsibility for simping hard during the marriage). It's going to take a few years to rebuild, but in the nearly 4 years since the divorce I am already debt free and hoping to drop to part time in another 6 years (if not full retirement, which I would work some but just for fun, not directly for the money).

TL,DR: I was concerned eX wouldn't pay so had a check for her half cut from her portion of the equity and I agreed to pay all communal debts.

PlaystationSwitchAWD · 2026-06-16T07:48:40+00:00

I froze/locked my credit at Equifax, Transunion, and Experian. Also did an IRS pin lock in case the spouse tries anything evil since she has my SSN and info.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2026-06-15T17:33:22+00:00

Just don't combine finances and get a prenup.

Or, better yet, don't get married.

But a good heads up non the less.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-06-15T02:40:02+00:00

tis a good reminder

Particular-Depth-973 · 2026-06-15T01:20:34+00:00

BTW, to your point: finding out about joint accounts works both ways. As in, if you find yourself on a joint credit card that she is using (with you as an authorized signer and her the primary); you can always use it if you need to gain leverage and get what you want. Or, if you got screwed in the first place you can use it as a claw back mechanism.

Particular-Depth-973 · 2026-06-15T00:10:12+00:00

Yup. I covered this concept in this post: How can high earners limit the financial damage in divorce? : r/Divorce_Men

The way to overcome it is to use it to one's advantage. That's why it's always better to take debt than to give up cash or assets in divorce.

The_Answer1313 · 2026-06-14T23:01:35+00:00

Yeah as someone that gave up the house but my name is still on it I know all about this. My ex even today threatened to not pay.

She has 2 years to refinance it. But the car is also joint and she’s got 6 years on that thing.

The one thing I was told was if she didn’t make a house payment I can take her back to court. Maybe could force a sale sooner if she can’t refi.

If she misses a payment on the 1st I will be in there on the 2nd filing contempt.

The thing about the debt is you’re supposed to be held financially harmless. So if that’s the case I don’t see why a judge wouldn’t do something if someone was threatening to not pay and it’s hurting your credit.

But yeah banks don’t care about decrees.

Unusual_University14 · 2026-06-16T17:54:56+00:00

One big things... the very second you think divorce or separation, you need to freeze your credit with a PIN. This prevents any new accounts from being created.

Title	What your divorce decree doesn’t protect you from financially
Author	Fabulous_Web740
Upvotes	21
Comments	23
Date	June 14, 2026 9:37 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1u5xjor/what_your_divorce_decree_doesnt_protect_you_from/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/what-your-divorce-decree-doesnt-protect-you-from.1582876 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582876

Comments