It was a rough parenting day today. My son is 5. At child-exchange, my son melted down and screamed that he didn’t want to leave his mom and how he doesn’t like me. He then sobbed uncontrollably for ten minutes before then standing up and trying to hit and kick me several times. I stayed calm, stopped him from hitting me, and validated his feelings. He has since repeatedly told me he doesn’t love me.

When we got home, he was told that he could not watch tv. He proceeded to break a glass and then while I was cleaning that up he snuck and turned on the tv while laughing. When I turned off the tv, he proceeded to start throwing his blocks at me. I’ll admit I broke down crying just with sheer overstimulation. It didn’t help that I have been sick with food poisoning the last few days so my resources were already taxed.

I eventually calmed myself down and regulated and I had a heart to heart with my son while reinforcing boundaries. It has just been so hard bc at his mom’s house he doesn’t hear the word “no” so of course he doesn’t want to come to my place. She buys him everything and he is allowed to do as he pleases.

It is just so hard because he never does this the other direction. He never melts down when he is going with his mom, he doesn’t tell her he doesn’t love her, he never cries when he leaves me, and he doesn’t try to hit her. It just makes me doubt my skills as a parent and I’ll admit I have thoughts that creep in on whether my own son views me as a loser. Please help me understand why this keeps happening.