As a woman, is it bad to have some male personality traits?

StingrayVC · 2014-10-08T16:41:35+00:00

You'll be fine. As has been said, you describe most of the women here. I suspect number three might be different for many as I think a bunch of us avoid groups of women.

doedsengel · 2014-10-08T16:32:37+00:00

Hello non-RP lurkers. Please remember not to comment and/or vote on this thread.

Take care!

:0)

Welcome! A few things to note:

Many of the users here are INTJ or INFJ, and regardless of MBTI type, many of the ladies emphasize the importance of thinking through things logically prior to reacting emotionally (this helps to stop bad patterns of behavior and it's something we encourage).
There are several users here that are lifting enthusiasts and at least one competes professionally. We also have ladies that play sports and have active lifestyles.
Most of us have little to no patience for many female behaviors in social settings. We have different ways of dealing with nonsense trends (bad-mouthing SO's, gossip etc). Knowing how to navigate and ignore certain trends within female social circles is a skill that can be developed and fine-tuned.

You sound like most of the users here.

:0)

TempestTcup · 2014-10-08T16:29:26+00:00

LOL, you sound like most of us :)

inkedpink · 2014-10-08T16:36:24+00:00

Join the club.

tofeelforever · 2014-10-08T16:55:10+00:00

TO THE LIFTING POINT. I transformed my body in the past year with lifting heavy weights. Lost 60 pounds, I've looked the BEST in my ENTIRE life at age 30. I'm happily married, but what a change in perspective because men give me MUCH more attention now than before. Biggest MYTH that women will get bulky from lifting, unless you are taking steroids. I completed my first powerlifting comp and it was AWESOME. Finally glad I found a hobby as a woman that keeps me healthy and looking hot, instead of looking like a "hamster" on an elliptical.

To your other points, I have no idea. I'm the most illogical person I know ! ha. And I only have a few close female friends, plus that ebs and flows, now most of my female friends are other wives/young mothers. I was never a stickler for SERIOUS friendships.

Just keep working on yourself and the lifting. It completely changed how I viewed myself I become more confident less insecure inside and out. (sort of sounds like the reasons men say to lift, huh? weird?)

You will be fine! Good luck!

TheTerrorSquad · 2014-10-08T16:46:59+00:00

" I do not grunt or make male noises in the gym"

Aw bless you! Lol

ayvyns · 2014-10-08T19:19:35+00:00

I'm afraid my love for weightlifting/strength training

Doesn't matter if you're a man or woman. Everything else being reasonably equal, being strong makes you more useful than someone who's weak.

eatplaycrush · 2014-10-08T19:16:49+00:00

I've been lifting for six years AND I'm not always quiet when I lift so I'm not exactly sure how that's manly because this IS part of the process for many men AND woman who lift very heavy and revolve their life around training. There is nothing wrong with it. Some “experts” claim that you’re not breathing properly if you grunt because the only way you can do it is by holding your breath and exhaling forcefully. That’s the EXACT reason why grunting is the natural thing to do for MANY on a heavy Squat, Deadlift, or a Clean– try exhaling on the way up and tell me how your lower back likes that. Lifting heavy weights isn’t the same as running or lifting 80% of your 1RM. It is primarily used/noticed in max effort lifts or on lifter's last set of heavier work.

It has done nothing except improve me as a female mentally, emotionally, and physically. It has also showed my SO I have great time management skills as I still must fulfill my duty in my house to my SO despite the fact being an athlete is my day to day life. I'm also an ENTJ so I am typically the "alpha female" except I don't believe woman can be alpha's lol. This isn't an issue for me either. I have found the sweet spot to leaving that demeanor for my training and work ethic while my soft side is left for our home. I don't need to be 100% ON when I'm in the comfort of my own home with a man who I trust and feel immense protection from so it mentally frees me as well as he wouldn't have it any other way anyway lol.

hockey_puck · 2014-10-08T19:16:57+00:00

As others have said, it seems like a lot of the women here are much like you! I have a lot of masculine hobbies as well. I too like metal, and I'm a lifelong hockey fan (I used to play when I was younger), I love history, sci-fi and video games, and my degrees are in STEM fields. I was nervous for a long time that this made me "manly," and got a lot of crap from people about it, despite having may traditionally feminine hobbies as well (baking, knitting, etc). But then I met my husband. Part of what makes him a good match for me is that he appreciates these hobbies and interests of mine! He likes the same stuff I do, which is awesome for both of us. He can listen to metal while I'm in the car without worrying that I'll whine or silently hate it, and we can watch hockey together, and all manner of things. He never has to worry about me disliking or not supporting his hobbies, and he never has to worry that I'm bored or unhappy whenever he wants to engage in his hobbies. We can have satisfying conversations about them, and we both have a great time! If I weren't interested in these things, I'm fairly certain he'd be significantly less satisfied in our marriage. Being feminine and liking the things we like are not mutually exclusive! So you have nothing to worry about. :)

2014-10-08T20:26:00+00:00

I can relate to this a lot, in slightly different ways. I enjoy learning about cars, construction, and finance for instance - all typically "male" interests. I also wear dresses almost everyday (slowly incorporating more heels/wedges) and am definitely a girly girl. I think as long as everything is balanced you're fine.

I have also noticed (after being a lurker on here and /r/theredpill for a few months) that I tend to relate to and enjoy reading a lot of posts on /r/theredpill, sometimes more than RPW. Mainly when it comes to self improvement and "monk mode" I am not sure why this is, maybe I like the focus more on improving yourself than your relationship since I am long distance right now so I don't have as much opportunity for relationship improvement (don't get me wrong I still do lots of work there and things are so. much. better. ) or what but either way I feel that I'm headed in the right direction.

2014-10-09T05:26:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Aerobus · 2014-10-11T12:48:46+00:00

As long as you don't actively challenge your partner and try to dominate him, you'll be fine.

philomexa · 2014-10-08T19:02:41+00:00

Aww, you sounds a lot like myself (swap out black metal for industrial, and weightlifting with body weight exercises) and a few of the ladies here. I wouldn't stress it, as long as you express positive femininity (compassion, grace, selflessness, etc) when it counts (i.e. in relation to your future SO), you should be alright.

stillnoturday · 2014-10-08T22:42:26+00:00

Just don't try to alpha the dude you are dating and you'll be fine. I'm from Texas country girls are pretty much like this but are complete ladies in every other sense. It is all about balance

WilIjR · 2014-10-09T01:35:02+00:00

I like hardcore and punk, weightlifting and I enjoy beer over wine or mixed drinks. I occasionally grunt while attempting bodyweight pull ups. I'm also not really muscular (lanky body type so no muscles for me). I still feel feminine and I think my SO would laugh if anyone asked if I intimidated him or if he found me too masculine. You can like masculine things and still be feminine. I see them as things that make me interesting, just like any other hobby. However, having a feminine hobby or two can soften the edges if you think yours are kinda rough. I am a great baker, for instance. I also like to be clean and organized. These are things my SO appreciates because they make his life a little more pleasant. Everyone loves cake and clean floors.

SuperSlavisWife · 2014-10-09T08:21:46+00:00

1: I'm like that. It usually shows up in non-empaths or people with low or controlled empathy. I view it as positive because it allows me to behave calmly in most scenarios. Plus, I don't really know anything else, so trying to fake greater emotional depth would be exhausting. Some men find it frustrating or boring, some like it.

2: To most men, demeanor means more than hobbies. If he's into country and cycling, you're unlikely to find him get angry about metal and weights. Plus, plenty of men like weights and black metal. You might be their dream girl for attending gym with them and buying them concert tickets.

3: That is often called "Den Mother". Usually indicative of an even-tempered, high-testosterone female. As you age you can find yourself start controlling and directing much younger men (as in, 50yo you giving orders to a 20yo man). When directed at women it's rarely a problem. When directed at men it can be a problem. Seeing as you're less emotional that could remove part of the issue, but you may not be quite as experienced as the men you're talking to. Women are often used to people exaggerating their credentials or talking about something they know nothing about, but any decent man hates it. Even though you don't go "Alpha" around men, try and make sure you know what you're talking about before speaking, as this can be a major flaw of women with that personality.

aprettylotus · 2014-10-08T19:47:48+00:00

I worry sometimes too about my more "masculine" interests, I play music and unfortunately for men I've dated that can be a difficult thing as music(especially bands and performance) is so male dominated. I also like reading about technology(which is why I'm even on reddit really) and if I play video games I like fantasy RPG's(dork) so yeah.

All of those interests are pretty closeted though, like you said, I don't look like a rocker chick or something, and people who get to know me are shocked to see that I can play guitar so well, or that I think Dungeons and Dragons is cool.

It's never stopped me from dating attractive alpha type men :) and It's definitely never stopped me from expressing my feminine charm or loving nature.

ColdEiric · 2014-10-08T21:48:40+00:00

I tend to use logic and eschew most things feelings-based on just about anything on a day-to-day basis. I am more often than not oblivious to the fact that I may have hurt someone else's feelings and I'm lost as to what to do about this issue.

Logic? Yes, please! Logic is not hamstering, hamstering is not logic. Think about it. A mother, a wife, who understands math? Chemistry? Biology? Physics? Finance? And knows how to teach her subjects to her children? In addition to proper manners? Why not?

I'm afraid my love for weightlifting/strength training (I do not grunt or make any male-like noises in the gym, nor do I look the least bit manly) and for black metal (highly abrasive music but it doesn't have much effect on my appearance or demeanor) negates some of the wife-potential I'm working towards due to the masculine nature of the subcultures associated with these hobbies.

A wife, a mother needs her strength. Go for it. You might have children who slowly, but surely, get bigger and heavier. And when you need to focus on the children unruly behaviour, you might need that extra strength. Think about it, when you have an issue, you don't want to feel that your arms are too weak and you're easily pushed away. It is similiar to when you might need that extra cash, for instance, when your computer needs to be replaced. Just make sure that you don't end up stronger than your man.

In a group of women, I'm the alpha female often without intending it due to my subconscious mistrust of the highly feelings-influenced decisions that some women are reputedly prone to make. I am never dominant if a male I respect is around however. All this happens without me being aware of it in the moment, and I only ever realize it during moments of reflection.

So, you've also got dominance of the girls? How's that bad? Your man's word will be spread through you to them, and you manage to make him get the credit.

Besides the traits brought up, I think I'm feminine in demeanor and in appearance, although I'm still a work in progress. I'd really appreciate you ladies and gentlemen who are lurking in the sub's input and suggestions on what I should work on next.

If you doubt your level of femininity, then you might want to overdo it. To push you out of your comfort zone. To remind the guys who can't yet tell that they're supposed to woo you. Some of them are, or were, very tactless or blunt or dense, and need more femininity to notice that you are a girl who wants to get wooed. Some of us have had our noses and minds buried in books and games, and have needed to read books, watch movies and shows, to study a lot to understand boy-girl-stuff. Those who understood it along, they'll notice you aswell.

I'm currently single and have never been in a relationship, if it matters. Please let me know if you need anymore information, and I will be pleased to provide it.

What about your clothes? You haven't mentioned your style. You've forgotten how judgemental men are about girls' looks. If you want me to comment on your clothes and your style, then you need to give me something to comment on.

lateralus01 · 2014-10-11T01:05:16+00:00

"I tend to use logic and eschew most things feelings-based"

I consider myself a RP man, and this is a turn on. The less bullshit I have to deal with the better.

Title	As a woman, is it bad to have some male personality traits?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	9
Comments	40
Date	October 8, 2014 4:18 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/2io745/as_a_woman_is_it_bad_to_have_some_male/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/as-a-woman-is-it-bad-to-have-some-male-personality.165812 https://theredarchive.com/post/165812

Comments