Hey girls! I need your honest opinions - do I need to change my behaviour?

FleetingWish · 2015-09-09T01:49:08+00:00

(this includes a few minutes in a tanning bed a few times a week)

As someone who was diagnosed with stage 3 melanoma, please, please, don't do that.

sugarcrush · 2015-09-09T01:54:49+00:00

It's just signs, not statements of fact- and from a rather terrible and clickbait-y site at that. If you and your partner are happy with your behavior and appearance, that's what counts.

I do feel like I need to caution you against inviting other people into the bedroom. Once that door is open, it's going to forever change your relationship, potentially in ways you aren't okay with. And if it's something that causes a break up, you are going to have to either hide it (lying) or deal with future boyfriends expecting the same.

katiemonster · 2015-09-09T02:07:21+00:00

You should definitely stop tanning, as it is terrible for you (has been absolutely proven to cause skin cancer) and will make your skin age faster than anything else in the world.

Other than that, as long as your partner is happy, you're fine. You don't need to worry about your SMV when you have a partner, because you're not on the sexual market. You just need to make sure your value to your partner remains high.

fhigurethisout · 2015-09-09T01:44:04+00:00

As long as your partner likes these traits you have listed above, there is no problem.

The list is very generic (as well as biased, probably based on this man's experiences and taste in women) and satisfies traits for the majority of women---and, as we know---the majority of women these days are on the CC with sky high partner counts. Tons of women, both here and in feminist world, dye their hair, have piercings, were cheerleaders, and tan (please don't though, this is rather unhealthy). Of course we take care to avoid many of the other signs in this article (swearing, being obnoxious, having a lot of 'guy friends'), but the physical ones are very, er, standard. It's like saying "all men with abs and styled hair are players".

I also fit a few of the "signs", lol, and my partner count is the same as you in my mid twenties (2, including my current).

tellhimhello · 2015-09-10T19:33:07+00:00

That whole article should have a fedora resting on the headline. As in, don't judge yourself off of some stranger's opinion. This list makes 90% of women "undateable" but they still find boyfriends and marry. The writer must be really unattractive to label known signs of attractiveness as "slutty". One of those, "if I can't have her, she's a slut" types. There are a lot of jaded angry men in RP, don't get down on yourself over a dude who wishes he was a chick.

SouthernPetite · 2015-09-09T01:45:05+00:00

You have to understand that these are potential red flags- not absolutes.

Also, there is room for individual variation, so if your SO likes those things, then there's no reason to change them, but if it doesn't work out, you have to understand that at least some of your behavior may be off-putting or, at the very least, not a green light right out the gate.

Edit: I do very much disagree with the past about large boobs though. More years of male attention =/= more willingness to spleep around. I becomes annoying and creepy rather quickly.

freebumblebee · 2015-09-09T14:53:04+00:00

That was super click-baity. I've definitely seen that article referenced several times, but it was pretty laughable to actually read. If you click on the follow-up (26 more exciting signs she's a slut), I actually satisfy like ten of them. The "uses birth control when not in a relationship--especially IUD" was the funniest sign to me. I went on birth control four years before losing my virginity. My religious wait until marriage friends went on birth control before they'd even met their husbands. Birth control isn't like condoms.

So no, I don't think you have to change any behavior except the tanning. Stop tanning. Your skin will look like crap when you get older, and I've seen what skin cancer does to people. Wear sunscreen and stop that right now.

littlebit_ · 2015-09-09T01:49:50+00:00

Think of it like a weather forecast.. Certain variables in the atmosphere will indicate rain (or snow or whatever), and the more variables associated with rain that are present, the more likely it is to rain. Likewise, having a few things on that list describe someone doesn't necessarily make them (or you) a slut, the more things that get checked off, the better a bet that the person in question is a slut.

I'm not sure how much stock I personally put in that particular list (it seems a little nitpick-y to me) but I believe that's the general idea.

coffee__ · 2015-09-09T02:09:13+00:00

No you don't have to change your breast size or try to become more ticklish. The list is supposed to be traits that correlate with slutty behavior, more for guys to use on a "first date" and I don't think it translates to when you're in a LTR. Anyway, I don't see how the things you listed have a negative effect on your SMV, especially if your SO likes these things about you.

Elle118 · 2015-09-12T06:12:31+00:00

Yeah I thought the birth control one was quite silly, as there are alot of reasons to go on the pill besides avoiding pregnancy, like if you have really heavy periods, acne, hormonal/irregular periods, even anemia! Anemia is actually quite common especially in teenage girls.

notevenatthestart · 2015-09-09T02:14:53+00:00

To start with, your SMV only really has meaning when you're in the sexual marketplace, just as any commodity only has a value when traded on the free market. That's how one determines value in a market economy. Until it's actually up for sale and the offers come in, everything is just theory and guesswork.

So (good news!) your piercings, breasts, cheerleading past, interest in women and lack of a father figure don't matter at all if you never go back on the market.

Do those slut markers still count even in your extenuating circumstances? Sure they do. They're general rules and broad principles, not absolute indicators that can never be wrong, but let's be honest: Every other woman to whom they apply will have her own story about how they aren't a problem in her specific case. Very few people would see a list of negative attributes, see one that applied to them and say "gee, you got me! that's so me!". It's much more natural to rationalise.

Rationalising things like that is just the hamster in action.

So the slut markers still apply, but they're not a showstopper.

Still, let's suppose you did want to reduce the number of those slut markers you met. Some of those things are fixable. You can/could stop dying your hair, stop using tanning beds and remove your piercings, for instance. That's stuff you could change today. You could also decide to file your cheerleading and interest in women under "things to never be spoken of". That's something you could change over weeks or months.

The negative implications of your large breasts could potentially be combated by a conscious effort to dress modestly and act appropriately- if you don't already.

Similarly, an absent father figure is much less of a problem for a girl who doesn't have short, dyed hair, piercings, a degree in gender studies and a bad attitude.

Whether you need or want to make any changes to yourself, though, is entirely up to you.

Title	Hey girls! I need your honest opinions - do I need to change my behaviour?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	3
Comments	15
Date	September 9, 2015 1:04 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/RedPillWomen
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/comments/3k65dh/hey_girls_i_need_your_honest_opinions_do_i_need/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/RedPillWomen/hey-girls-i-need-your-honest-opinions-do-i-need-to.166444 https://theredarchive.com/post/166444

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