My father is in his early 50s and is the quintessence of passive aggression. He craves approval from people and resorts to self-abnegation for plaudits. This self- denial devolved into selfishness when with family. Until a couple years ago he'd sometimes mistreat my mother, verbally abuse her and seldom was he concerned about her welfare. Somehow she tolerated it for 20 years. And then she cheated on him with his best- friend. That moment onwards my father has been a shell of former self.

In hindsight their estrangement was progressive. I could sense that my mother had been detaching herself, spent a lot of time chatting on her phone. From bullying her to begging her to be back this volte face by my father has left me startled. He bemoans his past and is remorseful. Emaciated it seems he has lost the will to live. He was no exemplar of rectitude but a man who discharged his duties towards his family.

Around him we'd have to walk on eggshells. All of us resent him for that. I can see the pain in his eyes when he talks about my mother. My mother opted for legal separation. Family members urged her to reconsider but she's adamant. Is there anything my father can do to salvage his marriage and if not that to endure the pain?