I think I’m just too boring

Raccoon328 · 2020-08-27T18:22:45+00:00

Honestly I think you two just aren’t compatible. I know I’m not boring and I have the deepest conversations with some people and silence with others. The silence just means they are not for me and that’s that. You deserve to be with someone who fits you in every way, including someone you can have long interesting conversations with without feeling like it takes too much effort. Until then, you deserve yourself and the love you can give to yourself. You’re not boring and you do not need anyone, especially someone who doesn’t fit you in such an essential way.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-08-27T18:19:21+00:00

I just sounds like you got anxious. I think that you need to like yourself more and love yourself more. Work on your self-esteem learn some things get some hobbies work on your education and career. Maybe even ask some friends and family members to tell you what they like about you.

When I was young I would get so socially anxious on dates I would just giggle. That's all I could do was giggle like some kind of idiot. It was pretty terrible.

Also maybe you could prepare a list of topics with follow-up questions? Then if you get nervous or run out of things to say you can pop into the restroom, review your list, take a breath and get back out there.

redbirdflies · 2020-08-27T18:52:59+00:00

He probably just didn’t peak your interest

Conversation flows easily when you “click”with someone

I’ve been on dates with men who were perfect for me, on paper, but the connection just wasn’t there

eveninghope · 2020-08-27T19:09:32+00:00

Can you have flowing conversations with people you aren't into? What common interests do you have? What are things that you feel strongly about? You can talk about stuff you like too btw, not just wait for him to bring stuff up.

brittany20204 · 2020-08-27T20:50:56+00:00

[deleted]

nycgirlhere · 2020-08-27T20:02:05+00:00

hey! maybe you can use this time to find some hobbies you would like to do :) make your life full and interesting

Alma00019 · 2020-08-27T20:39:06+00:00

I am shy and reserved and I was very, very shy when I was younger and I COMPLETELY understand you and what you're going through.

I think the only thing that will help is getting more self-confidence and relaxing. You're focusing too much on how you're coming off to him, does he like you, trying to impress him, trying to live up to "his standards" etc etc etc and all of that is making you very self conscious and insecure.

Stop focusing on yourself and how you're coming off, and start focusing on him and making him FEEL something - entertained, happy, intrigued, etc. Ask questions. People LOVE talking about themselves. Seriously, the best advice I ever got regarding shyness was to focus on the other person and get them talking about their interests. Then, once you have a conversation going that flows, it will be easier to be in the moment and have a natural conversation and be yourself.

Ask him his major, what his vacation was like, his hobbies, and let him talk. Always ask open-ended questions, never questions that can be answered with a yes or no. The thing that makes things easier for you as a straight woman is that men love talking about themselves and if a woman listens to them they will feel that she's a great conversationalist. Eventually, when you start feeling better about your conversations with him, you can start to open up a bit more and share things about yourself. Don't be afraid to be yourself and to state your opinions. DO NOT try to figure out what he would like, and then try to be that. Just be yourself. Talk about what YOU like. If that turns him off, then he's not the guy for you.

FurryBellyButt0n · 2020-08-27T22:52:16+00:00

Are you trying to become interesting to increase your dating pool for male validation or are you trying to become more interesting because you feel there are areas of the world you should focus on and put your energy into doing?

Is it facing rejection from him that is making you question your true being and your worth? Or do you feel like you have been feeling this way for awhile and this confirms that moment of self-awareness?

Your feelings are your feelings, but I would encourage you to discern if it's really how you are feeling and a desire for change or if it's the lack of male validation you are receiving from them that made you feel this way about yourself?

ChristianGirl93 · 2020-08-28T01:27:45+00:00

Maybe he’s too boring to bring up things that will make you want to talk

Orphanedpinkpetals · 2020-08-27T23:48:47+00:00

He may be a sociopath. They need lots of stimulation and act deflated if you dont give the response they expected/ wanted

Title	I think I’m just too boring
Author	_idekman
Upvotes	23
Comments	12
Date	August 27, 2020 5:59 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ihpxo8/i_think_im_just_too_boring/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/i-think-im-just-too-boring.172468 https://theredarchive.com/post/172468

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