Had to put the family dog down and cried like a little bitch in front of LTR.

followtheRaven · 2014-08-05T18:24:05+00:00

You're human, congratz. Why do you think this would lower your SMV? Because you cared?

Don't over think this. There's nothing wrong with some emotion every once in a while. Especially in front of an LTR. She might actually see you as someone to have kids with now (you're fucked, OP ;))

xwm · 2014-08-05T19:36:25+00:00

My father is one of the manliest men I know. He is strong, independent, very clearly in charge in a non aggressive way, and a tough SOB when he needs to be.

Since I was a kid, I had always wanted a dog, but my dad was moderately allergic to them, so no go. Got gerbils. One day getting for for them in the pet store me and my mom fell in love with this adorable four year old black lab who was quietly sitting in a cage with huge eyes, and was so happy to see us she was licking our hands through the bars.

We convinced my father to see her, and eventually adopted her. She was an amazing dog. Always happy to see us. Wanted to play with us all the time. Always there for me when I was feeling down. I was very socially awkward, and having her in my life helped me get over some anxieties I previously had. I can't stress how much I loved her.

My dad used to pretend he didn't like her when everyone was around, but would slip her food when he thought no one was looking, and invented this dumb poop song for when she had to go outside and he thought no one was awake/home.

She was mischievous and she liked to steal food off the counter, and hide shoes. She managed to integrate herself into our lives so thoroughly that it was impossible to imagine life without her.

Two years ago, at the age of fifteen, she had an inoperable tumor, and she was living in pain. We decided that the only humane thing to do was put her down.

This was the second of two times in my life that I have ever seen my dad cry (His best friend had passed away about a decade before, and that is the only other time). He wasn't sobbing uncontrollably, but he sat, quietly in the corner, tears running down his face and as we left the room he leaned over and kissed the top of her still head and told her that she was a good dog, and then helped my mom out of the room.

Even just retelling this story had me shed a tear, as it was a really emotional moment for our family (it is just my mom, my dad, and myself, so we are very close), but I will dry it off, get up, and then move on with my day because I have expressed what I needed to express, but I will not dwell on it. That is what my father has taught me. You are not less of a man for crying. You are a man for crying, and then moving on to do what needs to be done.

tl;dr just have a heart and read it

kick6 · 2014-08-05T20:13:41+00:00

In a LTR a little bit of beta is a good thing.

jamieoneal82 · 2014-08-05T18:33:28+00:00

A man and his dog is a powerful and very manly connection. Nothing to be ashamed about.

maniac918 · 2014-08-05T18:44:47+00:00

If I had to put my dog down, I'd be crying. I'd probably be more upset than if my wife died (is that messed up?).

As long as you aren't regularly crying about stupid things, this shows that you do have emotions, and the things you truly care about bring them out. She will most likely desire you more and want to become one of "those things."

One piece of advice, though it only applies if you were still upset/grieving beyond the initial moment. In these situations, don't let her comfort you too much. i.e. laying in her lap crying or something like that. Instead, just excuse yourself to be alone for a while. Its ok for her to see you cry, but she can't feel like she has to be the rock in the relationship for too long. You just go have a cry, then come back out when your shit is together (which it sounds like you did). Rinse and repeat throughout the grieving process. This still shows you handling strong emotions like a man. That is the more important point, rather than figuring out if it's right or wrong to cry.

rp_manifesto · 2014-08-05T20:20:11+00:00

Actually crying over this is one of the few things a woman usually wont lose respect over you for. Its if you cried over your car, or a broken finger, or something that she will think of you as weak.

Mans best friend? Its probably like niagra falls in her panties if you are otherwise an alpha man.

AsleepAtTheWheel1 · 2014-08-05T20:35:10+00:00

Ahh, this is a throwaway account, and I was just in the midst of using it for throwaway purposes, but had to say – there's absolutely nothing to be ashamed about in expressing grief over the loss of a pet. I think the bonds we have with animals often transcend any type of social dynamic that we encounter within our human communities. There's nothing deceptive, confusing, or dishonest about our friendships with pets, despite our limited ability to communicate. So, in a lot of ways, it can be sort of the antithesis of feeling compelled to improve one's 'game' or in general just maneuvering through a maze of subtle social cues – which is refreshing as heck (this is coming from a female, by the way, didn't want to be misleading - not a regular contributor here, e.g. throwaway).

I honestly can't think of any more profound relationship I've had with another person/animal than that between me and my current dog of 16 years. That's, of course, for personal reasons, but I know I'm not alone in saying that a dog has really changed the trajectory of my life in a positive way. Anyway, yeah, I respect anyone who admits that they care strongly for a pet, and it would never diminish my opinion of them, regardless of how they show their grief. (Note: As I'm not very well-versed in TRP, feel free to listen to what I said with a grain of salt. But I do think what I had to say transcends the context of TRP.)

j0hnan0n · 2014-08-05T21:29:04+00:00

No, you're fine, man. Our deepest sympathies on losing a loyal friend - those are hard to come by.

Thizzlebot · 2014-08-05T21:41:28+00:00

If you cry for no reason you are a little bitch. If you have something significant and emotional happen (like losing your dog) this is a perfectly normal reaction. Totally fine and she should be supportive of you, if she isn't that's a serious red flag.

Goldfulgore · 2014-08-05T22:38:49+00:00

No it didn't . The only thing that will lower your SMV is thinking of your SMV getting lowered.

Now if you turned to your SO and cried on her shoulder, its another story.

HahahahaWaitWhat · 2014-08-05T23:31:26+00:00

Jesus Christ. Honestly I think all this red pill shit has finally gone too far when a man's best friend dies and the only thing on his mind is, is this going to reduce my SMV?

Come the fuck on.

How long have you known the dog, and how long have you known the girl? Who gives a flying fuck what she thinks?

[deleted] · 2014-08-05T23:12:56+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Had to put the family dog down and cried like a little bitch in front of LTR.
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	13
Comments	21
Date	August 5, 2014 6:20 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2cplg1/had_to_put_the_family_dog_down_and_cried_like_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/had-to-put-the-family-dog-down-and-cried-like-a.194700 https://theredarchive.com/post/194700

Comments