To piggy back on the boyfriend/husband/trifecta posts.
Are you a smooth motherfucker?
Or do you have an initiation sequence when you want to have sex?
Can your girl tell the difference between your playful, sexual, kino-laced banter (which you do, right?) and your actual desire for sex right then and there? Yes? Then you have more work to do.
There's this thing women have called ASD, or Anti-Slut Defense. This kicks as soon as you force, or even ask, her to make sexual decisions. When a woman has to make sexual decisions (e.g., do I accept this man's offer to slobber up his cock right now?), she will feel the weight of responsibility as the one wearing the sexual pants. Being the oldest child in the house, your wife doesn't want or need that responsibility if she is to be your babe.
Socially autistic guys have two modes. "Handle business" and "get down to business". When we're handling business, we're probably working, doing chores, playing with the kids, working on the car, making contacts, feeding our platonic relationships, etc.
Then we get horny, so our radar clicks on and finds the wifey (or any other wet and attractive hole, for some of us), and our mission is set.
The problem is that the bitch can tell when that radar starts up. And she dreads that ping. Not in the BPP manner, but the stomach-in-knots, I-hope-he-doesn't-see-me-here, oh-god-this-again type of dread. There's a visible cringe that happens in my wife's body language if I officially begin the process of coitus. It doesn't matter how objectively attractive you are. If you make this autistic move of flipping on your sex radar with such a loud click that the whales circling the arctic perk their ears, you're doing it wrong. You're not a dominant caveman, you're a geek who read some tricks on MRP and thought he found his balls.
Blur the line between
- I'm a sexual guy who likes to tease and have fun
and
- We're going to have sex now
It's a spectrum, not a binary choice. This means an actual rejection is not even possible, because when she gives a hard no, you're Stoically hanging out in one range of the sexy spectrum, not plopped on the wrong side of Pleasuretown. You have outcome independence, mostly because you are't limited to one outcome to begin with.
So I game, and sometimes the sex naturally follows. "That's what she said", "...in bed", gropes, ass slaps, boob grabs, pantsing, 10 second fireworks kisses, shameless PUA moves, or just a sly, knowing glance at any time of day. Sometimes I don't feeeel like gaming my wife. I do it anyway.
I come out of left field sometimes, instantly puts sex on her mind. But then I don't assume the go-ahead and go in for the kill, scaring the slut out of her. Plant the seed and move on. I don't keep it sexual so that she'll sleep with me. I keep it sexual because I am naturally sexual, and I find the remarks funny/sexy/amusing/fun. No hidden agenda behind them. You could even say I have no covert contracts. She feels no guilt in not having sex with me immediately, because she's not letting down my hornily constructed expectations.
When sex does happen, it's more of a slight ramp up, not a strenuous jump. It will "just happen". Even I've been caught off guard.
The status quo is a simmer of sexiness, and actual sex is a nice rolling boil. But the heat never turns off.
Advanced study: how to flow seamlessly from sexy hubby to caring father to badass professional/business owner to whatever the fuck else you do. It becomes more natural the more you do it. Have fun with it.
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