Dread while still being a good father?

strategos_autokrator · 2015-07-10T07:21:52+00:00

You can do dread while spending time with your kids. Nothing like having a blast with my own son to demonstrate with actions my wife's crap won't get to us. I had posted this example before, I'm copying here because it is relevant.

My wife sometimes admits feels jealous of how much my son loves spending time with me. It is ridiculous, she should be pleased that I'm such a good father. Besides, it isn't THAT hard. I make sure to budget time to play with him regularly. Wife instead says she gets bored and doesn't know how to play with him. Guess who is the fun parent?

The other day my wife was trying to find something, anything, to fight with me. Meanwhile, my son and I were building the most amazing duplo airplane ever for the duplo cow and farmer. It was awesome and gigantic, with eyes and 4 wings. Nothing like having Son scream "COW PLANE" as Wife tries to pick a fight to really communicate that we don't give a fuck about her stupid crap.

She can be pissed off. We fly cow-planes.

Update: it just occurred to me screaming cowplane was my son's first Amused Mastery. I am so proud of him!

Depending on the situation and time of the day, Dread can be to take son to the park to kick a ball, then get some icecream together. Some other times Dread is me going out for beers, or just hanging out with friends.

The key is to understand is that Dread is not just making her jealous of other women. That is part of it, but not the whole thing. The key is to make her understand without words you got a wonderful life going for yourself in all areas, and she is lucky to be part of it. You have to demonstrate in all areas your amazing life.

Heck, I've done dread just going to the hardware store to choose materials for small home improvement projects. The key is to show her crap won't ruin your life, it only isolates her from your life. Her hamster will do the work for you.

airplanesky · 2015-07-10T01:51:09+00:00

Depends on age of kids: the way I am doing it is by planning events and activities ahead of time with kids. Basically look to proactively and deliberately spend time with them on about half the time. If wife wants to join and she's sweet I won't stop her. But otherwise I can make myself unavailable on other 50% of time (if she's not fun to hang out with / bitchy). So it's almost like preparation for and as if being divorced and single parent.

cholomite · 2015-07-10T04:18:58+00:00

You're over thinking this. You should be friendly and social with everyone, both men and women. It shouldn't be a chore or a task or an awkward process. Once you are confident with everyone you meet, including women, your wife will notice and you will have dread. Add or subtract more women from your social circle as nessecary for desired results.

FrozenSoil · 2015-07-10T04:29:29+00:00

You exit after the kids are asleep. We have a toddler who I don't get to see enough between work and sleep, so I make my dread after he goes to sleep if necessary...what impacts me is as my wife works overnights, I can't leave him there alone, nor will I impede my wife's ability to add to the family coffers, so my ability is limited.

theultmatecad · 2015-07-10T02:41:40+00:00

I had this issue. I would just vanish when kids went to bed. I'd lift, visit buddies, even go read in a coffee shop.

Key is your out of her sight and not picking up texts/calls so her hamster can spin.

Make sure you are lifting hard, dressing well and ..buy a few pair of really nice underwear. Let her find them when she does laundry.

Redneck001 · 2015-07-10T01:21:23+00:00

Take the kids with you. Flirt with other women. Let kids tell you wife about your flirting. Profit.

Countpudyoola · 2015-07-10T20:29:06+00:00

Basic time management?

Read the levels of dread. Dressing nice and working out really don't impact the kids negatively right?

Going somewhere and she's a stick in the mud? Take the kids with you.

Or don't. I see my kid enough and spend enough time with her that me going to BJJ or to fish with a buddy, or watch a game at a sportsbar would just be...normal.

The first time I had to get out as my wife was just 6 levels of not nice , she called to tell me my kid was sad and crying I wasn't there for ONE bedtime. Made me realize how unused to me being there she was. Had to explain to her that daddy has friends, too and goes out occasionally. Really indicated that I wasn't getting out ENOUGH if once in two weeks just messed up her world.

You don't want to teach them that a dad just sticks around when mommy treats him like an asshat. That'd be a sure fire way they grow up either accepting that treatment or doling it out as normal with no consequences.

spexer · 2015-07-10T02:40:11+00:00

I would say that being with the kid, even at home, will work. She will see you playing with your children, being an entertaining guy and lots of fun, instead of being with her.

Or- take the kids out with you. See a movie, get ice cream, take them on a hike.

As long as some of the time you are also going out with the guys or by yourself.

BluepillProfessor · 2015-07-10T20:58:15+00:00

When you leave take the kids with you. Dread + being a good dad

RPAlternate42 · 2015-07-10T01:18:19+00:00

Down voted.

No history, no context, no anything.

thisisme0007 · 2015-07-10T01:13:02+00:00

Hello zero karma no context (troll?). The only level of dread that could possibly have a negative impact on a child is 9+.

Title	Dread while still being a good father?
Author	Rowapray
Upvotes	5
Comments	43
Date	July 10, 2015 1:04 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MarriedRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/marriedredpill/comments/3cqtab/dread_while_still_being_a_good_father/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MarriedRedPill/dread-while-still-being-a-good-father.201499 https://theredarchive.com/post/201499

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