There's been an increase in men posting who simply don't want to take responsibility for assessing their own situation. A quick look at the front page finds the following
- AM I Hamstering? Reality check please
- [FR] Taking responsibility but .. am I pushing too hard?
- A slow beginning. A test? Not a complete failure, but could have done better.
- Trying to figure out if this is "working"
- Snippy, disrespectful comment. How did I handle it?
and so on, and so forth. We're getting more people posting seeking validation from the collective community here.
This is absolutely the wrong way to do it.
There is not a single person in this subreddit who is a position to be the judge of you or your life better than yourself. Self-reflection and self-assessment is part of the journey. Honest self assessment is also incredibly hard, which I understand is why some people don't want to do it. We have the weekly OWN YOUR SHIT WEEKLY post so that you can OWN YOUR SHIT. This subreddit is dedicated to owning your own shit and this message needs to be reinforced.
To make these types of posts, which are cowardly, validation seeking posts, insteading of owning your own actions and being the judge of your own situation, puts the burden of improving on other people. This is bad, because it means that you are deferring responsibility, that you are NOT in charge for your own relationship and your own happiness.
We don't know you. We aren't your keeper. Recognize that we are in no position to judge your successes or your failures and that the only person who judges and controls you is yourself.
Therefore, I will be removing any future posts that are posed in a validation seeking way instead of taking personal responsibility for your own behavior, with the expectation that you re-frame them so you are owning your shit. You post your post. We make our comments. That's how it'll work. You take the comments for what they are. We compliment your own assessments.
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