One of the most frequent questions we see here at MRP is “How do I get started?” This is a legitimate question; the sidebar is rich with blogs and books without much direction. So to help out the novices let’s do a quick overview of the materials there, some common scenarios new guys face, and thus a couple different curricula. The main focus of this post is how to get started with the readings provided on the sidebar. But first…

A Public Service Announcement

As a newbie to RP the first thing you will hear from any RP veteran is “start lifting.” This is because weight lifting is the cornerstone of any self-improvement plan for a male, and self-improvement is what you need. There have been volumes written on this topic, so I won’t go deep here. Let’s leave it at this: you start lifting you will not only look better, you’ll be healthier, have more confidence, and start to see yourself differently. YOU MUST LIFT.

Now, on to the academics here…

I’m not going to review the Graduate Level Material or the Advanced Material, since this is a “how to get started guide.” This is not to undercut those materials; on the contrary they are great as well, just not strictly relevant to this current discussion, which is how to help new guys.

Quick Review of Core Materials

The Sixteen Commandments of Poon: A concise list of “rules” for your interactions with women. Things we all either knew at one time and forgot, or else things that, after you learn them, you’ll wish you knew all along. A must-read.

The Rational Male, Year One: A series of blog posts (also compiled into a book format) that explain many of the core Red Pill concepts. A perfect introduction to RP principles for the total beginner. Many of the posts are brutal for the uninitiated, but absolutely essential.

No More Mr. Nice Guy (NMMNG): This is a self-help book that deals with the so-called “Nice Guy Syndrome,” a mode of thought in which men engage in continual self-sacrifice and covert contracts in their relationships (romantic and otherwise). Nice Guys are resentful when these efforts go unappreciated – another fact they often conceal. This book will help you learn to express your wants and needs honestly and stop the cycle of resentment towards others.

When I Say No, I Feel Guilty (WISNIFG): Another self-help book which helps one deal with being a pushover. The tips and strategies here will help you reclaim your life from unwanted obligations; a good companion to NMMNG.

Married Man Sex Life Primer (MMSL): This excellent work offers a practical guide to building attraction within the confines of a marriage. The program is easy to understand and will give you tips and tricks to get and keep your woman interested.

The Mindful Attraction Plan (MAP): A how-to guide for living intentionally and getting what you want out of life, especially women. Useful for reformed Nice Guys and those who find it difficult to set goals and follow through with them.

Now that we’re oriented to the basic materials, let’s review some common scenarios and the curricula that will help them. In all scenarios it is assumed that the reader has basic knowledge of RP principles, such as those found in The Sixteen Commandments of Poon and The Rational Male, Year One. If that is not the case, then those are the starting point of any program.

Scenario 1: The Stale Marriage

Guys in Scenario 1 are not in dire straits. Instead, the marriage needs to be freshened up a bit. Typical concerns in this scenario are the frequency, and often the quality, of sex. The man and/or woman may have just plain lost attraction for each other, even if the relationship is still generally cordial. The man has not slipped into total Beta territory, but he probably has pedestalized the wife a little bit and is at a loss as to how to dial up the bedroom fun.

The best course of study for this scenario is to first read MMSL and then MAP. The point of study here will be to integrate RP knowledge into the approach with the wife. Understanding how women think and what gets them turned on is paramount. Reading, understanding, and applying the MMSL’s tips and tactics and putting together a MAP are going to be your primary activities.

Scenario 2: The Slippery Slope of Beta

Guys in this scenario were, to varying degrees, Alpha males at some point in their lives, but over time have slipped into Betadom. In fact, many such guys initially attracted their woman through their innate Alpha behaviors, but now have lost their way after 5 or 10 years of marriage. They engage in Beta supplication at every turn, walk on eggshells, and try ever harder to appease their wives and make sacrifices to gain her admiration. This scenario is similar to The Stale Marriage inasmuch as the sexual frequency and quality are definitely not good, but this scenario is overall more serious because the stink of beta is starting to eat into the fabric of the relationship. The woman may have not only lost attraction, but is also starting to lose respect for the man. Shit tests are escalating in both frequency and intensity for these men as women try to assess what’s left of them.

The best curriculum for this scenario is to start with WISNIFG, followed closely with NMMNG. Then turn directly to sections 3, 4, and 9 in MMSL. The objective here is to accept that self-sacrifice is not attractive to women, learn to express one’s wants and needs in a healthy manner, and stand up for one’s self. Then change the approach back to Alpha again. Then and only then, can you try to establish a better dynamic with the wife (Captain/First Officer being one model of this). In other words, a complete transformation of how one treats and prioritizes himself. After those lessons have been learned and applied, then progress to the rest of MMSL and NMMNG. Expect the transformation to take time, especially if Beta behaviors have been in operation for a while. A general rule of thumb you’ll often see here is a month for each year of Beta marriage.

Scenario 3: It’s About to Jump Off

Men in this scenario are in serious trouble in their marriage. The attraction and the respect are fully gone in the marriage, and the woman may be downright rancorous. Emotional and/or physical cheating has either happened or is on the horizon, and the man is seriously thinking divorce may be the only option.

This scenario calls for swift action. If cheating is going on, turn directly to section 27 in MMSL, which deals with busting up cheating. Then immediately get into NMMNG. If no cheating yet then start with NMMNG followed up with all of Part Two in MMSL (which deals with putting together a Male Action Plan). If after that things improve, downgrade yourself to Scenario 2 and follow that curriculum.

These are but three somewhat stereotypical scenarios. There are a lot of gradations in between these, but if you’re totally lost these three should get you started. Find the one closest to your situation and run with it. I’m sure others will disagree with me on some of this or fill in things I forgot to say; put it all in the comments and the resource will grow!

EDIT: Thanks for the positive response fellas! One thing I would like to add is that I appreciate that the materials I listed here are not comprehensive and we could certainly add more resources for every category, including things like Book of Pook and pretty much the entire main RP sidebar as basic theory reading. What I was aiming for was to build out programs using only the materials listed on the MRP sidebar so that noobs have all they need right at hand. By all means keep listing out more materials, but when you do so try to attach them as additional reading in one or more scenarios.

EDIT 2: See also my Guide for the 4th Scenario: The Career Beta