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Mixed signals from wife lately

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November 9, 2018
10 upvotes

So RP at beginning of October, lots of ups and downs so far. See my OYS for details.

This week though my wife has confused the fuck out of me. Monday/Tuesday - wonderfully sweet, great passionate sex (better than in a really long time). Wednesday she went to bed early, last night she went to bed early. Today she says she thinks I'm perverted, treat her like a piece of meat, she's not interested in that at all (she certainly was Monday and Tuesday!), wants to be a nun, all guys are sick.

Conversation went on for a bit, but I fogged/negative inquiry. Didn't apologize for any of it. She never flat out said she doesn't like it, but she doesn't ever think about it and that I think about it ALL THE TIME which makes her digusted.

I know you can't negotiate desire, but for two days it's there and then it's gone. The sex from months past were starfish, Mon/Tue were not. Now this... it's confusing as hell. I'll keep the current path (lift, read, STFU) - feeling great and calmer than ever. But this has been bothering me... I know I shouldn't care but the mixed signals make me question if I'm trying to initiate too much (daily) and flubbing with ass grabs, touching, etc.

I am tracking her cycle, yesterday/today should be ovulation so it's a bit surprising that she effectively shut down. Also, I can't pinpoint anything on my side - no beta behavior, no change at all from Tues->Wed.

Edit: checked her tracking app - ovulation was Tuesday. This explains her actions Mon-Tues. Still going to bed early - at least she's going to sleep. Will post more in my OYS this week. Still makes me angry but at least I'm not complaining and victim puking.


Post Information
Title Mixed signals from wife lately
Author LongRoad_518
Upvotes 10
Comments 50
Date 09 November 2018 04:11 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/203802
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/9vlply/mixed_signals_from_wife_lately/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betalift
Comments

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret19 points20 points  (4 children) | Copy

You’re overthinking it. Quit caring so much about what she thinks and says. It’s hard to say without knowing her, but this is most likely what /u/bluepillprofessor refers to as a “shitty comfort test.” If that’s the case, hold frame, do a little A&A, and then provide a little comfort- maybe a kiss on the forehead. The madonna whore complex could be at work here also. Also, she could be confused by the newer alpha you, so maybe pull back a little... in other words STFU, lift, and sidebar.

The point is, there could be a lot of factors. Don’t try to figure it out- it just puts you in her frame.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Good advice. I’ll slow it down a little and stop over analyzing her words.

[–]BostonBrakeJob8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Something you need to understand, though, is that she is into it. And she did enjoy it with you.

This is a test. It will happen again. Don't let up and don't back down. Next time she starts with it again, if it's possible, pick her up and carry her to bed. Or better yet, rip her cloths off and fuck her where she stands. If kids/reasons make it not possible at that moment, laugh it off ("That's not true, I think about anal/bj's sometimes too" is a fucking great line at this point), interrupt her babbling with an invite to go do [fun thing], and caveman her later.

She's testing you. The only way to pass is to continue fucking her the way you want (unless you get a hard no, then not getting butthurt is what's important). Not talking. Not explaining. Not negotiating. Action.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Women are the oldest teenager in the house, right?

If you kid says "I hate you, you're the worst parent." What do you do? You know it is just some kid emotions and that they actually love you and are happy you are in their life. There are so many parallels to dealing with kids and women.

The best response to her shit-testing? "It's true, I guess I'm just wired to fuck sexy women."

[–]witnessthenomorebp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am at the end of PFP and the first thing I thought was Madonna/Whore complex.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine12 points13 points  (19 children) | Copy

Classic shit test. Testing to see if you’re a man she really wants to fuck. Over the top AA these.

Shes also trying to keep you Beta- although she really wants a strong alpha to fuck her, she can’t risk other women finding you attractive too- she doesn’t want you to become a dominate alpha - she could potentially lose her provider ($) husband to other women.

So she’s shaming your alpha behavior as being perverted.

“but for two days it's there and then it's gone.”

Look up Responsive Desire, awalt. That’s why you need to Game them. Need to manufacture and built it up. Women are not always dtf like men are.. deep down they are, but need to bring it forth.

“Conversation went on for a bit..”

Stop listening to what she says faggot. Stop having conversations. AWALT.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (16 children) | Copy

Perfect. If she brings up up again, I'll throw some AA... I've done some of it but mostly just fogging. The biggest thing for me, is a month ago I would have apologized and told her I'm not like other guys, blah blah. This time it's hell yes, you're absolutely right I want to fuck your brains out all the time.

I think the attractiveness is getting to her - I still am a fat fuck and just started lifting a month ago, but had dropped significant weight in the past few months, had to get wedding ring resized. Dressing better, cologne, talking to people out, having fun, etc. is so unlike me she keeps shit testing about me cheating or wanting to keep options open. Been passing these, not hitting out of the park. Mostly STFU. I'm not hiding myself anymore, if I want it I'll say I want it, not pretend I don't.

Game sucks, working on it - she did say I need to stop slapping her ass all the time today. I do not plan on stopping that. She has a nice ass.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine15 points16 points  (14 children) | Copy

That ass is yours,, take it.

Don’t listen to her shaming tactics. Betas have rules and get shamed, alphas get sucked off.

“apologized and told her I'm not like other guys, blah blah”

Hell no. Don’t double down on the niceness tm you’re fucking lying and setting up covert contracts. You’re exactly like the other guys, you want to FUCK.

If she says “ all you want is sex”, say “ I also want BJs and anal”. Own that shit.

Own it. Sounds like you’re on the right track. This is perfectly normal.

You are the Prize.

Start learning how to daygame - so you can practice and start having an abundance mentality.

“I'm not hiding myself anymore”

Yes, exactly. Don’t die with the music still left inside you. Let it all out. Alphas are congruent and authentic. A strong dominate alpha gets exactly what he wants out of life. Doesn’t hide his true intentions.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy

I’m done with the lying and contracts. Either she’s a NAWALT who really does not have any sexual desire or she’ll come around. If she doesn’t in a year after running my MAP I’ll be in a prime position to make a decision.

All I know is life feels pretty great regardless of her.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine4 points5 points  (12 children) | Copy

“who really does not have any sexual desire (with you)”

That’s the fucking point of this sub.

My bet, she’ll cum around.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy

That’s what I hear (with you), but her lying claim is she has zero desire and should be a nun. Oh well. I’ll go lift more.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

That’s the hard cold bitterness of the red pill right here.

All along, she never thought you were Chad, never found you attractive, never loved you the way you think she did, never pictured your cock in her pussy as much as she pictured Chad fucking her on spring break on the beach back in college.. she only liked your provider traits- so you could provide for her ($) and her offspring.

Now all of a sudden, her beta fat fuck husband wants to start calling the shots and wants to fuck her.. she doesn’t want to fuck him. You are not her Chad. She always saw you as Beta and is now repulsed by your cold fat sweaty man boobs flapping on her and wishes she was a nun.

[–]wkndatbernardus4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

If she's gay, his rack might be a turn on to her.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Calling man boobs a 'rack' kind of makes me want to vomit.

[–]Reach180Red Beret1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

but her lying claim is she has zero desire and should be a nun.

What do you mean by 'her lying' claim?

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I think OPs wife is gay.

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

More likely OP is the faggot. Just saying....

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

That she has zero interest in sex with anyone (not just me).

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She knows that your beta fat fuck pansy ass couldn’t handle the truth - so she lies.

Can’t piss off her provider: Got to keep her resources ($) flowing in to pay for her shopping sprees and vacations.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If <insert hot actor here> was in the picture she would swallow his cum like it was the elixir of life. She would have him fuck her ass, deep throat him, lick his balls, every nasty thing you can imagine.

This is a fact. Once you learn to accept this fact you can move on with improving yourself instead of blaming others.

[–]Reach180Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

And you're butthurt that she says that because she should tell you the truth?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not butt hurt at all. I think it’s a funny delusion on her part.

[–]friendandadvisor0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

she did say I need to stop slapping her ass all the time today. I do not plan on stopping that. She has a nice ass.

Grabbing and groping are NOT slaps. For future reference.

[–]Batman_Or_BruceWayne2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Was about to tag MCT in this, and see he's already replied. OP - listen to his advice.

Your wife is my wife. And she WAS MCT's wife, from what he's shared. He's turned his situation around. I'm learning from him and slowly changing myself. You can too.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

MCT is brutal but gives great advice. Shit tests are being passed now more and more... she's still pissed and says she's not a slut, blah blah, but I just AA it. I'm strangely enjoying it. She's still going to bed early - I see this as a continued shit test looking for a reaction from me. She at least is going to sleep so maybe she has been tired. It still pissed me off, but I don't let her know that.

[–]mindfulbutgutlessRed Beret4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy

When was the last time you just flirted, with no intention of escalation? When was the last time you tried to initiate when it was still light out?

treat her like a piece of meat

this response is usually do to dehydrated men dry humping their legs.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

When was the last time you just flirted, with no intention of escalation? I think I just suck at flirting w/o making it overtly sexual.
When was the last time you tried to initiate when it was still light out? Last night - hard no

[–]mindfulbutgutlessRed Beret1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I asked when it was still light out, so last NIGHT is not during the day.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Reading comprehension fail. Hard to do with kids around. Morning sex a week and a half ago it was light out so that counts.

[–]hack3geRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

My wife says she won’t do it when the kids are awake - I know it’s bullshit and just smirk.

She’d fuck chad in the other room with the door open while the kids watched a movie. Really think about that for a second and let it piss you off then go to the gym.

[–]NightFire451 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ohhhh...definitely, just did this morning. Also wrote I love the D on her windshield in snow before going to work. I few years ago I got the don't paw me chastising. How times change.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Reading comprehension fail. Hard to do with kids around.

Reflexively DEERing like the faggot you still are ... trying to negotiate desire rather than generating it by flirting ... initiating constantly like a needy boy ... no wonder she's disgusted with herself for responding to her pre-ovulation hormones by having enthusiastic sex with a faggot.

You've got a long road ahead before you're attractive; look at the good sex as a positive glimpse of what can be when you make it, which you haven't yet.

[–]Cam_Winston212 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Monday/Tuesday - wonderfully sweet, great passionate sex (better than in a really long time). Wednesday she went to bed early, last night she went to bed early.

Maybe she was tired on Wednesday & Thursday. Did she "go to bed" (aka, watch TV or scroll facebook) or did she go to sleep?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She went to sleep. Daughter started up school so it’s possible she was really tired. Good point.

[–]Cam_Winston214 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're just over a month after swallowing the red pill, so try to keep in mind that you've never used your eyes before.

You're still adjusting. If you're like most, you'll likely over-think, over-analyze and go Rambo. Patience.

[–]robertwservice19743 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have heard the nun comment several times over the years. Means “you make me feel like I should become a nun.”

I used to tell her: “You are a nun. You ain’t givin’ nun and I ain’t gettin nun’.” [CRINGE]

If she ever says it again, I’ll tell her I also have a nun fantasy, and how I’ll buy her a habit so we can do a little nun role playing....

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

[–]robertwservice19740 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

LMAO. And the true story is almost as funny. Pope disbanded a 1500 year old order over her dancing. But she got right with god?

I was thinking Nacho Libre: “Unless you want to, then we break our vows together...”

[–]UnbreakableFrame1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Conversation ...

And that's where you fucked up.

[–]Bedtimeshine1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I see it differently then some of the other commenters. I think she’s trying to block your access to sex with her and saying what she’s gotta say to squash the possibility right now and in the near future. And her being turned on those days were due to outside influences. I smell another man on the horizon.

[–]wkndatbernardus1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

She's transferring her shame to you. She is appalled at her self for liking the D so hard and raw so she is trying to shift blame for being such a ho. I bet she has some sexual hangups/guilt from the past that are coming up now.

So, it's a good sign that you are bringing this side of her to the surface where she can get used to it and (gasp!) enjoy it. Nice work.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’ve been with her since end of HS. She definitely has hangups. Lots of sexual shame and it’s always been hard to get her to relax regarding sex. If I can get things started it’s fine, it’s this mental block that she thinks she’s slutty. Not sure where it came from but it’s there.

This could be a big factor as I don’t think she ever came so hard as these days. Full body, gasping, couldn’t touch her for a minute it was so intense. Then fucked her hard from behind with her ass in the air. Never did that before so aggressively, and she seemed to love it.

It could be what Chad was saying but it really doesn’t matter. I’ll stay the course and stop over thinking it.

[–]SepeanRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You’re reading way too much into it and this freudian pop psych about shame and the past, it’s BS.

It’s a simple shit test. If he passes it, the next time she’ll shit test him with something different. She’s probing for flaws in his frame, it doesn’t actually mean anything.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

My general thought here is she is getting buyers remorse and needed to see if you actually deserved what she gave you. I've noticed when I push the boundaries on her sexually it almost is immediately followed by some serious shit testing. I'd argue you could be perfect in terms of passing tests and she still needs to figure out her own feelz.

Some guys here get quick results and slowly build up over time as my guess is that they were alpha at one point in their relationship. I'm one of those guys who was never alpha and wife never saw me that way so its more of a cycle of acceptance/testing. I'll push her boundaries, she will shit test me into oblivion and even if I pass I can sense the skepticism in her acceptance of the change. She slowly comes back to where she is okay with it and then rinse and repeat. I actually find it comical at this point because I can see the moment where she starts to accept it and move forward - silly woman.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is the same for me... never very alpha. Some alpha traits that died early on. I believed in the true love/ soul mate myth.

Your explanation makes a lot of sense on the testing to see if she made a mistake.

[–]DeplorableRay0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shutting down during ovulation? You're not confused, you're in denial. They only want their #1 during tat time. Your genes are being selected against. You're not attractive enough.

[–]SteelToeShitKickerRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Today she says she thinks I'm perverted, treat her like a piece of meat,

I do like a good piece of steak.

[–]mrpthrowa0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stop fucking worrying so much about her.

[–]HERE2SHILL0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sex everyday is way too much for her anyway.. Learn to masturbate

[–]dll1420 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I know this post comes late, but I just came across this post. I had (still have) a very similar situation to yours. Things with my wife were good for the first year of marriage, then the sexual frequency began to decline. I went into a short period of neediness and passive aggressive behavior patterns (about 2 to 3 months). Completely blew things up. My wife's desire began to disappear and sex dropped from 12 times a month down to 4 or 5. 100% my doing and I own that shit.

Then, like many men on here, I found the red pill. I stopped the needy victim behavior and began to improve myself (still working on it... I'm a few months into the red pill). I noticed the sexual responses and desire began to reappear, BUT they were hot and cold like yours. I'd get bout of 3 to 5 days of wild and passionate sex, then it would wain for a week to a week and a half, then return (still in that cycle somewhat). My wife will be into me passionately with desire and hunger, then the next week, she will shit test and say things like, "I'm struggling with my desire", or "all you want is sex and I feel objectified", or "you don't understand me", or "You've always been an asshole", "or now you're making me feel like I did in my first marriage and I don't know how to get out of this", "I struggle to even spend time with you".... blah blah blah. All in the back of my mind, I think, "that's not that your actions were telling me 5 days ago when I went out with some buddies, and when I came home you were in a piece of sexy lingerie throwing yourself at me, then I Sex God Methoded the shit out of you and had you screaming for more!"

I stopped DEERing and STFU. Women only see the NOW. There is no relationship equity with them. Last week when I was fucking the shit out of her and had her screaming didn't mean shit."

Here's another.... I came home on Friday night and didn't feel like talking and / or wanted to be left alone (i.e. wasn't present). She asked if I was mad at her and she became affectionate with me. I took her in my arms and kissed her passionately and gave her my presence. As the night went on, I kind of ignored her and did my own thing. After the kids went to bed, she walked up to me in a defensive and pissy mood and said, "Good night, I'm going up to bed." Now, we would usually spend time together, which then usually led to sex, but she wouldn't have it. I looked at her and said, "I want you to come sit with me." She replied, "No, you've been disconnected and standoffish all day... why would I want to spend time with you." I saw this as a shit test. I told her, "Ok, I understand, but I still would like to spend time with you." She got pissed and went to bed. The next couple days she was in a foul and bitchy mood. I did my own thing and reset each day. The next day I got the speech of her not wanting sex with me and how I objectify her and how I put her in the place she's in. I listened briefly and told her ok, then told her I loved her, kissed her on the forehead and went downstairs.

This is the cycle I'm in now. I'm just getting into dread level 3. My choice is to keep moving forward.

Where are you now? Please provide an update. Thanks.



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