Continuing on from my post here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/8xtn9i/rambod_comfort_test_move_back_in_or_give_her/?utm_content=full_comments&utm_medium=message&utm_source=reddit&utm_name=frontpage

​

Posting on this one to stay accountable.

​

Been almost 2 months since my separation from my fiance. Realized I've been a pretty shitty person and working on becoming a better man and father. Was disgusted in myself that even though I was pretty alpha/DT, I found out that deep down I was a career beta.

​

Read: Jack10 posts, "The Career Beta", NMMNG, MMSLP, MAP, WISNIFG, Bang, and 60% done with SLSM and Millionaire Fastlane.

​

Physical: Haven't lost as much weight as I planned. Been going out way too much and drinking irresponsibly. Down to 215 and ~18% BF. Lost 2 inches from my waist and starting to see ab outline and jawline is coming back. Started up BJJ and Muay Thai again. I can't believe I went 10 years without them. It was always my dream as a kid to be a pro fighter. I will definitely be doing some BJJ tournies and ammy fights for Muay Thai/MMA in the future. Mainly lifting for maintenance as it's hard to fit it in my schedule. Going to switch to a 3x a week full body starting today, focusing on compound lifts with some accessories thrown in for good measure.

​

Cut off my stupid long hair and went back to a clean fade/combover, and making sure to keep my beard trimmed. Got a new wardrobe and am definitely getting more attention when I go out. Noticed my ex showing more IOI's and can feel the attraction coming back. I would say one of my Red areas is my body fat. Bought a new kitchen/bathroom scale and will be tracking my macros. My goal is to hit 180 @ 10% body fat by next summer.

​

Financial: Not gonna lie, this is a big Red area for me too. I make shit right now as an intern. Realized I was a POS who couldn't provide for his family so we were forced to rely on my MIL and for my ex to work like a slave to support us.

​

Enrolled into school to finish my BS in Computer Science. Looking back, I can recall my ex asking if I was going to go back for my BS while I was "BSing" on the PC playing video games. I can see now that it was unattractive as fuck for me to mess around when I could be working on something or spending time with my family. I have since cut off video games cold turkey. My expensive rig is now relegated to homework and MRP.

​

My plan is that by the time I am offered FTE next year, I will be finished with my CS degree. This will give me leverage with my current employer and give me the option to walk for a higher paying job. I am also saving up funds and researching on how to start my side hustle. My plan is to have it off the ground in a couple of months. Either way the plan is to be self sufficient and get a place for myself and my kids.

​

Social: Have reconnected with a lot of my male friends and I can say I definitely missed the male camaraderie. Have a solid best friend now who is a stand up guy. We've been lifting and doing BJJ together since the separation. I can say that my social circle now is the biggest it's ever been. I've always been a popular, likable guy, but always lose friendships due to my career beta ways.

​

Been going out every weekend to socialize and work on my game. Having luck doing some catch and release, but I'm definitely not in the right mindset to push it further. Going to cut back on it as I feel as if the night life really isn't for me. I've been spotted a couple of times by my ex's friends or her brother when I'm out. This usually results in a butt hurt text from her the next day telling me she only wants to communicate through e-mail or something.. I just say "okay" or ignore it and things will go back to normal after a bit. Could a veteran tell me whether it was a good thing for me to be out and about in my situation (if I am trying to reconcile)?

​

Also did what I've wanted to do since HS and bought a stick shift sports sedan. The kids love it and so do I. My little one will be laughing the entire time with a huge smile on her face going "it's so fast daddy!". I'm definitely enjoying the masculine aspect of fixing/modding shit with my friends.

​

Sad to say, but I've never left the country. I have some plans to travel abroad next year which should be fun.

​

Family/Leading: Man oh man... I've been a disaster in this area for my entire life. I realized I've been boring as fuck and waiting for things to happen in terms of my family, or my relationship. I wasn't doing shit or even leading my ex towards sex. She was usually the one planning trips for the family or I would expect her to initiate, and got pissy when she didn't. Even towards the end she was trying to initiate, or asking if we could go out as a family, but I fucked that up.

I recently read a post about "taking your kids away" and had a moment of clarity.

It was hot as shit and my youngest was coming over. I was stressed out about what I was going to do so I thought "what did I wish my dad did when I was a kid?". I proceeded to research kiddie pools around my area, found one and got everything ready by the time she was dropped off. The look on her mother's face was priceless when she found out I had everything under control. Had an awesome time gaming the life guards and playing with the munchkin. My younger brother looked at me and said "yeah, you're definitely a dad chad". I gotta say.. It was empowering as fuck to plan something and execute it.

​

With my eldest daughter I've been taking her out on dates and doing activities together. I've taken her to BJJ and MT with me. She's been hesitant but has promised to try BJJ out for a month. I've been a shitty dad to her for most of her life, but I plan on making it up to her.

​

With my youngest I am taking a more active role in her life. She enjoys her dates with daddy taking her to the park, or to a swimming pool, or even getting ice cream with her sister. I've gotten a lot softer with them and make it my priority to be a great father.

​

As for my ex, there's been a couple of times where she's called me and complained about how hard it was for her being a single mom. Saying how she never gets any sleep etc. I don't know what the right response would've been but I've told her that this is what she wanted. She responded by getting pissed and saying "I obviously haven't learned, and that I can take back my sorries". Most recently I tried opening up by telling her that it was hard for me too since I wasn't there for my family and taking care of my daughter. She responded with "you don't have to live here to do all of that", lol I should have seen that one coming. She's also called at 2AM because my daughter wants me and is screaming her head off. I tried to comfort my daughter through the phone, would the best move have been to ask to come over?

​

I've tried to be more of the "Oak" recently. Last week she asked me to watch our daughter because she was feeling sick so I dropped off some soup for her when I picked her up. The next day I had my daughter at MT class and the ex called me freaking out and being a bitch, asking where I was and that I never let her know I wasn't going to be home. Usually my response would be to yell back or whatever, but this time I used some negative inquiry to find out the real cause. Looks like it was because she was stressed out about logistics for our youngest because her mom didn't want her to leave work. She told me she was bawling her eyes out and I could hear the munchkin screaming in the back ground. I calmly told her that everything was going to be okay, and to take her to the gas station to buy her something to eat/drink and that I would be there after eldest's class was over. When we got there, she had taken my advice and everything was all good. Told her I was taking the kids to get some ice cream and asked if she wanted to come. She kept asking where but didn't seem like she was against it. I didn't want to push it so I just told her maybe another day and took the girls by myself.

​

Ex: Oh boy.. It's been wishy washy. I've tried to remain stoic and aloof the entire time. There are days where she will call me and try to shit test me or be a bitch, so I just tell her that I don't want her drama and hang up the phone. Usually it will be after she finds out I was at a club, and she will try some power move shit. I've been a lot nicer to her and she seems to be softening up. Everyone can see that she uses our daughter to try and communicate with me, and she gets really sweet when I send her pics of me taking our daughter out, after she asks about her. On the other hand if I don't call for a night she will get bitchy and complain I'm not calling everyday.

​

Last night I took our daughter. When I picked her up she was definitely showing IOI's and giggling/acting girly while talking to me (she's gotten a little chubbier doesn't wear makeup anymore, but still wears her rings). Later that night she asked how munchkin was doing and I replied that she was ready to sleep. I was knocked out when I received a call from her around 11:30. I overheard her laughing and a guys voice in the background, it sounded like they were out. She hangs up and tells me "sorry! butt dial!".

​

Of course I get pissed because I'm like wtf bitch, I take our kid for one night and you're out kicking it? I decided to do some recon so I drove to her house to verify. I see her car in front, and another car out front. All the lights are off in the house so either they're fucking, or left with a group of friends. At this point I'm pissed and have to calm myself down from gutting this fucker and eating him. I couldn't sleep so I did some research and found the owner. He's an old friend of hers but SUPER fucking beta. 2 kids, single father because his BM ran away to do drugs. This dude is super short and likes to set up "bible study" meets. I'm not even exaggerating but I'm sure I have this dude beat in every category and a lot higher in SMV.

​

She calls me this morning to make sure I'm awake to get munchkin ready for daycare. I am and she starts giggling tell me to stop lying because I'm "pretending to be awake". The entire conversation I'm pretty short with her while she's once again acting super girly telling me she'll see me soon when I pick up munchkin from her tonight (New Relationship Energy?). My cousin is still friends with her on FB and sent me some pics of her linking some video called "not settling" some stupid shit about white knights saving single moms, and some love song from this morning. She's still been texting me all day trying to ask about how munchkin was last night and this morning. I just told her "she was good" and left it at that. Any veterans care to explain her "sweet" attitude? Is it just to keep me on ice, or is it because she is seeing the new improved version of me?

​

Do I confront her Athol Kay style? Or just continue doing me and being a good dad and being nice to her? Do I even have any options at this point if I want to get my family back? It might sound stupid but she has a lot of sentimental value for me. I've been this girls alpha since we were kids. Took her v-card and alpha widowed her. Throughout all the stages of our life if I wanted her I could have her, didn't matter if she was taken or not and everyone knew that. She still has notes she's written every time I broke her heart. Though I do want her back, I realize that I would be fine without her.. and LTR's.

​

Thanks again MRP.

​

​

​

​