I cannot say this will be a popular post, but I will try to play devils advocate with an idea on this thread.

I have been reading here and I often see statements like, "If she cheats on me I will leave." or some other paranoid bullshit about their snowflake unicorn breaking their perception of the rules and them snooping on them. But really, is that the only option? Why care?

Honestly, I love my house. I love my kids. I love my life, semi-sans the wife. She takes care of cleaning and the kids. I am massively comfortable where I am and divorce will tear it all to shit.

I get it, Boundaries! Boundaries are great, I love boundaries. My only shitty bargaining chip is my presence. But what happens when your wife is broken and that shit is unfix-able or she cheats on you? Divorce is advised.

Then what? Go spin plates? Be ostracized from the kids depending on the contentiousness of the divorce? Loose all your hard work on a life you have been building, only to give half to a fucked up wife? (I'm in a C.P. state, FYI.)

I really have to wonder? Why would anyone care to do that to draw a boundary with a potentially broken woman?

My point is ultimately this:

I think for me option 2 is to keep my life status quo, ignore her bullshit and go spin plates. I am not going to feel bad if she fucks up, she is the one that fucked up. Just go act like your single, and not in the context of single "I have options", I mean: "Fuck it, I like my home, but I'm only married on paper." kind of single. Dread level 12.

I can see the only problem here is the potential to have "proof" used against you if she files. Also, She may want you to kill the puppy, but that's your choice until she does.

But why care so much if she is or isn't doing something? This stinks of being focused on her, in her frame.

The stay plan is the go plan, right?