708,624 posts

Main Event?

Reddit View
February 11, 2018
12 upvotes

7 months in. Read WISNIFG, NMMNG and MMSLP Chapters 3, 4 and 9 as instructed. Lifting consistently, in the best shape ever and dressing well. SMV is high with IOI's almost every day now at work, in shops and the gym etc. Still not great at dealing with shit tests, think I may be over thinking too much when they are fired at me. I've been having fun with the wife recently. We had some great weeks and I felt things were heading in the right direction - less fights and some great sex.... Well, now I'm an asshole. I love myself. I have a fucking attitude. I don't tell her anything. I go out all the time (to the gym and to buy food, fuck me).

5 days ago she comes home and starts having a go at me for no reason. She's mid period. Throwing everything at me begging for a fight. I just dont engage. It all blows up and she's like a raging bull, saying I need to decide what I want in life etc. Next day I receive text saying shes leaving, which I ignore. She goes to the spare room to sleep. The threats continue for the next few days and then we have a chat. Long story short she's not happy, feels sad, lost etc. and says I treat her like shit. I state I've made some changes to help me become a better father and husband. I don't appreciate her threats to leave. I feel we make a great partnership and want it to continue. It's been 5 fucking days now and she's still giving me shit tests left right and centre! as well as insisting its over and she's leaving. I know she must be wondering why I'm not panicking and begging her not to leave as I would've before RP. I can see it in her face and through her actions. I've just reached the point where Ive had enough of her bullshit and DNGAF. I feel more relaxed and calm than ever. But where does this thing go? 5 days of chaos which looks likely to continue.....

TL;DR Wife been noticing changes, finally kicks off and 5 days of hell have ensued. Says she's leaving.


Post Information
Title Main Event?
Author Awakeningof17
Upvotes 12
Comments 31
Date 11 February 2018 09:36 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/204830
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7wvsas/main_event/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
WISNIFGsexual market valueshit testliftNMMNG
Comments

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red37 points38 points  (5 children) | Copy

This is not a main event. It is a large shit test you are failing.

“Im leaving you asshole”

“OK, drive safe”

Then take the kids and go to the gym.

Ninja Edit: Then when you get home later that night and she is still there (she will still be there I guarantee it) hate fuck her good.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Can’t believe this got downvoted. Correct answer right here OP.

[–]chachaChad2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I’m not exactly sure he’s totally failing. He’s standing up to her at least.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Been going on for 5+ days. He is failing.

[–]chachaChad3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Meh... as long as he doesn’t fold he’s not losing

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

5 days.... He is failing and losing.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Someone has noticed the power dynamics are changing.

Keep standing your ground. Stay in your frame. Act normal.

Also, don’t forget to reset each morning.

And it amazes me the power of their hamsters... like they’ll threaten to leave because you go to the gym and work out. Hamstering away those power dynamics.

EDIT

A appropriate post from the wiki - https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2eszp0/what_power_does_she_have_over_you/

[–]Chump_No_More4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Someone has noticed the power dynamics are changing.

Fucking this right here.

Nothing pisses off (and arouses) a woman more than a man who knows he has options.

OP is not playing by the rules and wifey is increasingly ratcheting up to bring him back to her frame. The rapid cycling between crazy bitch and rational (I'm sad & lost) woman is dead give-away.

Main event is coming soon.

[–]johneyapocalypse4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Also, don’t forget to reset each morning.

Keep reminding myself about this.

Yet keep forgetting.

[–]abdadaRed Beret7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

It’s a phase to test you harder than ever. It’s a good sign her hamster is spinning out of control.

Stand your ground. You see options now. You need her less than she needs you and she’s going to either accept and love the new normal or you’ll find someone(s) else who will.

Menstrual cycles are confounding when you DGAF after years of GAF.

[–]johneyapocalypse1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Menstrual cycles are confounding when you DGAF after years of GAF.

God damn, god damn. You're speaking the truth.

OP - stand your ground like he says. It might - and likely will - feel uncomfortable. Less so over time.

Then the new normal arrives and all will be well in the world.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

If she ain’t crying because she’s worried her turn is over it ain’t a main event.

[–]crimson_chris2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

My bet is newbie gains. Sex improved but no real leadership changes. The wife is wondering why is she fucking him more if her life is not any better (via him being a better Captain).

[–]PersaeusRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

The wife is wondering why is she fucking him more

the humor in this never fails to entertain me. few weeks after dropping DL12, wife says "i can't understand why i want to have sex with you so much; you're such an asshole"

[–]crimson_chris2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Favorite quote from my wife this week, "I know that is what I said, but that is not what I meant. You should have understood that."

I just laughed my ass off (on the inside) - outside was my "you're fucking crazy" smurk.

[–]BobbyPeru2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

When my wife said she was leaving early in my RP journey, I said “the door is right there.”

You are letting this go on too long IMO. It’s not a main event- more like a stand-off/stonewall

[–]johneyapocalypse4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Me too.

Stayed out too late one night. She said "I'm not going to spend my life with a man who goes out late with other women. You can just leave."

I said "it's my house, you leave."

We're both still here.

RPSO: red pill stand-off.

That works.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sounds like you've left your wife lost in the hamster maze, and she's chewing her way out. Lead her instead to the exit you want her to take.

[–]Senor_Martillo2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Jack10 is a fucking artist. Damn.

[–]crimson_chris2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Main event?

Have you been leading? If so, how? How has this changed the prior relationship dynamic?

A lot of guys come here for sex. I did too. But, sex should be a side benefit of MRP. The primary benefit is being a better man. If you come here for sex, it may improve in the short-term - but you will most likely fall into the same cycle that brought you here.

From your post is looks like you SMV to women who don't know shit about you has improved, while the woman who probably knows you best wants to leave you.

Maybe you have improved. Maybe you have improved your sex life. But how are you a better Captain?

MRP is about re-creating an attractive life - one that many others will want to be a part of, maybe even your wife. In your last 7 months have you been creating a life with or without her? SMV and dread are important but it's also just as important (if not more) to have a mission for you, your life and your family.

I'm betting your wife is seeing you turn into a cocky asshole that was fun for a while - and now she's looking for a man who's life she wants to be a part of.

[–]Awakeningof17[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've been a shitty drunk captain for years and the Dead bedroom is what led me here. But when I seen the entire movie the sex became less important. I've been focusing on improving me in the hope it may also improve all aspects of my family life. Working hard to be a better captain but it's going wrong somewhere.

[–]crimson_chris0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was in the same place about Dec of 2016. Over th course of the year I started working out again. Got more cocky. Gained confidence and was swatting test. Sex went from once a week to 2-4 times a week. She was initiating and the quality was back to college level.

Then for a lot of reasons in Spring of 2017 I had a huge relapse. My improvements were somewhat built on a house of cards. I made a decision that caused her to lose trust in me (not cheating or lying - just a life decision). Everthing went to shit. Sex was back down to once a week. That summer it looked like we could be leading to divorce. I doubled down on MRP for me vs. saving the relationship. I put in some real work leading the family, figuring out my mission and building a vision together.

Today I got a logistics text from my wife and she ended it with "I love you". Now while there is a little validation there, for me it's more of a sign that I am back to leading a life that is attractive to others. That is probably only the second time in about eight months my wife has told me that. Way of the Superior Male has been really helpful. If you want her to be part of your life - 1) have a vison 2) make sure she understands her place in that vision.

[–]classicthrowaway862 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I went through this. It lasted about 5 days of silent treatment, a couple long long SMS's (which I ignored). Just keep going about being your OI happy self. Don't get frustrated or break frame over her ways. Don't even DEER by telling her 'you don't appreciate her threats to leave'... It'll blow over and she'll get in line.

[–]ReturnOfTheSwing2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Around 6 months after discovering MRP, I went through more or less exactly what you are going through. Increasing shit tests in frequency and intensity. Eventually, she also gave me the silent treatment for days. She initiated zero conversation and only replied with one-word responses. In retrospect, I did not handle this perfectly. My frame was OI, and mood was calm, but I never properly engaged her.

The silence broke when she said "I don't think this is working out anymore."

My response was "I'll let our landlord know first thing in the morning and get some movers scheduled."

She then switched from "Let's break up" to "How can we make this work?" except her version of making it work consisted of couples' counseling and other similar things. My response: "I have no interest in these things."

Truly, I did not care if she wanted to leave or stay, but I am not changing. She decided to stay with me and things changed dramatically from that point on.

That is not to say things have been perfect since then. I regressed over the past few months and dropped the ball (See my recent OYS). But in general, these screw-ups were nothing compared to years of beta. Just keep at it, live your life on your terms, she either chooses to be on board, or not.

[–]BostonBrakeJob1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

....but I never properly engaged her.

I'm just now starting to experience this realization, but it seems like a huge piece of it all that has been missing for me. Great advice given here.

[–]ReturnOfTheSwing1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah its difficult to say how exactly to respond, but if she tried to pull the solemn one-word responses on me again, instead of just STFU-ing, I'd probably playfully rib into her. "Still got your panties in a bunch?" Something like that.

I didn't use any Amused Mastery, A&A, or PF at that time and while the fogging and WISNIFG tactics worked, they probably weren't as good as say an "Alpha Positive" response.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

strictly a fitness test (I generally yawn and sometimes laugh)

how long can you take the shit, to prove you are the man ?

Read this book

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

My instincts tell me something occurred to send her to high orbit.

BUT, this is usually a sign that she's realized she's in your frame. Give some details here. Does he have SIW friends? Are they telling her she's given up too much power to you? Maybe investigate that a bit.

I want more details on these tests she's giving you. My gut is telling me are you are misreading them and while shitty, they are comfort tests.

[–]quentinthequibbler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s probably not her menstrual cycle either. The emotional time is before the bleeding starts.

[–]Awakeningof17[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Asked ME to leave the house a few times because its more practical for me to do so, to which I said no chance. After all the bust ups this weekend I've remained calm and tried to comfort her, but she's still in the guest room and still upset/angry. I went out to wash my car the other day and she called saying why the fuck are you at the car wash do you not think you should be here, we need to talk (after we had just talked).

She is communicating with her family constantly (she has 3 older sisters). I'm in no doubt she will be receiving poor advice.

[–]ReturnOfTheSwing0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2020. All rights reserved.

created by /u/dream-hunter