She's getting chubby...

Red-Curious · 2018-01-26T16:02:07+00:00

I honestly don't like the idea of dreading her. I want her to find her way to happily, healthily, moving towards a lower weight

This equates to: "I want her to magically stop being a woman and just start having motivations that she's never really had before."

More to the point, what makes you think women don't like dread? At least for the first several levels, it's really only improving their quality of life. Then there's the fact that women don't judge men on their own - they defer to other women to judge their man. So, if she never experiences dread, she'll never appreciate you. When she feels dread, it makes her feel good and happy because she knows she has a man that other women want, and this wins the comparison game (noting that this post also more fully explains "positive dread").

Even if I was to institute slow-burn dread, how?

All of the things you listed are you and her in isolation. Dread is about getting other women to vouch for you that you're hot and desirable - because your wife will trust what these other women say about you more than she trusts her own impression (which is usually always wrong due to complacency, among other things).

What you need to do is get out in public more. Screw the farm. Take her for a night on the town and let her watch as the waitress tries to flirt with you in front of her and the girl next to you at the bar keeps checking you out. If you're bold, feel free to initiate these things yourself, but it's far more effective if she sees it "just happen" even without you trying.

Doing more work around the house and farm is great. It shows her that you're a real man - a leader. But it's not going to increase dread if you're not out in public. Go. Do. Be.

mala_madre · 2018-01-26T15:36:29+00:00

Do you lift?

If not start doing so. I had this problem, wrote about it on a forum and she read it (looking at my phone without permission) and didnt do nothin but cry about it.

Then I started lifting and eat better. She follow my lead to keep up with me and lost weight

2gunsgetsome · 2018-01-26T17:03:44+00:00

No weights or gyms for miles and miles, anyway.

Or other skinny women, probably.

What's the body type of the women coming to learn yoga from your wife? Seems like that could be an opportunity for your wife to see them drool over your manflesh.

red-sfpplus · 2018-01-26T16:26:57+00:00

Normally, I'd just end up working out more

BS. I lift cause I want to lift. If you wanted to lift more, you would.

Lifts, height, weight, age, BF%.

Better not be a pot calling the kettle black.

I honestly don't like the idea of dreading her.

Pussy.

her family's farm

she's getting chubbier

Country cooking will do that to you.

SteelToeShitKicker · 2018-01-26T15:57:30+00:00

That was true with my ex-wife as well. As soon as we split up, however, she dropped about 20 pounds and became almost too thin, and kept the weight off.

It's funny how the answers are right in front of us, but we refuse to see them. What's the common factor in this equation? Could it be you?

I'm ok with subbing out manual labor for lifting for short periods of time, but how is your diet? Are you eating like shit?

dcapt46 · 2018-01-26T16:31:50+00:00

What is wrong with Dread?

Be attractive doesn't always have to mean clean. Come in from working and have a good hair cut. Clothes that fit. Checkered shirt or good T shirt and good fitting Jeans look good on a fit well built guy.
why not be social at the yoga/martial arts event you are leading. Don't be afraid to talk to other mothers.

It is not bad because it is dread. 10 years ago my wife was begging me to be more social. Now I see her watching me as I chat and joke with the other moms. She sees them smile at me and I see her smile at them.

Sometimes dread is not only her thinking "uh-oh he could have her if he's not happy with me", but it is also her looking at all the other ladies and smiling them down thinking I'm the one who gets to go home with him. Dread is not a bad thing. Work the whole side bar.

GargantuaBlarg29 · 2018-01-26T19:12:42+00:00

I want her to find her way to happily, healthily, moving towards a lower weight

Being lead by a competent leader to this place IS what makes her happy. You are projecting your route to happiness onto her.

Sepean · 2018-01-26T19:38:34+00:00

You’re a weak fuck without respect for your own standards. Or you’re bitching about something that doesn’t really mean much to you.

Either way, until you’re willing to do something about this, it won’t happen. Have you told her you only like slim girls? Teased her with her love handles? Stopped sex and pulled on your pants and walked out because her body wasn’t doing it for you?

Start light and escalate your responses until she gets on a diet. You’ll probably have to escalate it far because she knows what you like and that you’ve been too much of a pussy to enforce her slipping.

snatch_haggis · 2018-01-26T21:01:27+00:00

Eat right, work out, and get stronger.

Your wife or LTR is only gonna be as attractive as she has to be to keep up with you. You've made a bunch of excuses downthread about why you can't lift or work out. Guess what? She's making a bunch of excuses to herself about why it's okay to be fat.

Own your shit and she will catch up and own hers. That simple man.

And no, you don't get to implement dread yet if you're not lifting. If your baseline level of attractiveness does not improve from today's level of attractiveness, she has no incentive to improve today's level of attractiveness for herself.

Sure, maybe you're Mr. MMA and built like Bruce Lee, doesn't matter. That's a given now. AWALT. She already has you. You need to improve yourself for her to have any reason to improve herself.

Dread is a weapon, best used wisely and judiciously. Don't overuse that when you have a simpler and more subtle tool in your toolbox already, working on yourself. It's a better tool anyway, because it results in improvements in you, not just in her.

FireTempered · 2018-01-27T02:03:42+00:00

Don't be numb here. You dread her, she will lose weight and she will probably be happier that you helped her, covertly.

screechhater · 2018-01-27T03:49:44+00:00

And, she is probably thinking, when is he going to man up and make me tingle ?

Your post is shit. Your excuses are laiden with bullshit. Your understanding of dread is of not.

CharlesPoon · 2018-01-28T00:30:08+00:00

OP - I've started 2 threads on mrp. Please go find them. One was about my fat wife and the second a oneitis fueled victim puke about about an affair. You do not want to get to where I am - so listen to the advice you are getting from these guys while it's early.

If you don't take charge and figure out what you are doing wrong your situation will not improve.

hystericalbonding · 2018-01-26T18:52:36+00:00

Take control of meals, if not in terms of cooking, then at least in terms of what's on the menu

Help in the kitchen by doling out the portions for your wife and yourself

Identify the situations where she over-eats, and modify the environment appropriately

Or maybe grow a pair and talk to her about it.

marriedbutlonely1776 · 2018-01-26T23:07:33+00:00

After long physical work hours, i would caution you on doing ahything more than just body weight excerices and walking/light jogging. Unless you are very young (under 30) i wouldnt hit the weights or do HIIT workouts with the kind of laborous work you do. Im speaking from experience. I developed tendonitis in my ulna nerve and later had later had knee surgery to scrap away a paritially frayed meniscus. The meniscus tear was from an old college lacross injury when i hyper-extended my knee, that crept back after later in life after over training. Im not sure working out will help you with her. You might just tell her straight up that she looks bigger and its not attractive to you. Trying to drop hints and beat around the bush will allow her to dismiss what you are saying and ignore it as an issue because you werent clear. other than that i dont know what you can do since its obvious you are worried about offending her. but whatever you do, dont overtrain. recovering from overtraining takes a long time and might require medical care, which is money and time you might not want to spend.

BluepillProfessor · 2018-01-28T19:07:30+00:00

Actually we have an ongoing dispute whether Dread Game can make a fattie put down the fork and get off her ass.

In one corner are all the women who get dumped or divorced. All of them lose the gut within 60 days. "Oh, it was so stressful I couldn't eat."

By that reasoning, the solution is to Dread her so fucking hard that she becomes so stressed out that she can't eat.

I still think a better solution than Dread Game (which I maintain works to fire up the dry vaginas with spurts of fluid but not so much to force the wife to take action about something) is to try LEADERSHIP.

Clear out the shit foods in your house and replace it with healthy food for a start. Get a family gym membership and schedule workout evenings. Try to load your extra-large-medium into the car. If she won't go then go yourself and don't give her any attention the rest of the evening at least.

Big_Daddy_PDX · 2018-01-31T20:56:34+00:00

This weight conversation comes up here. A.Lot. The truth is that you can’t do anything about her. Just you. I recommend the following. Be honest with her. She’s fat and that isn’t long-term good. Then you start working on yourself like a mad man and you ignore her. Never give her compliments for her false progress (lost a pound, gained a pound, etc), and encourage her when she’s performing. But ignore her and don’t coddle her or help her make excuses unless you want to stay with a fatty

Title	She's getting chubby...
Author	makethemwant
Upvotes	4
Comments	28
Date	January 26, 2018 3:34 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/7t598v/shes_getting_chubby/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/shes-getting-chubby.204894 https://theredarchive.com/post/204894

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