Things are are better than previously. I got us a new apartment and our finances are in order. Marriage wise not so good. She can’t get over the cheating. It’s been a year. She’s even more vigilant than she was before. Anytime I go anywhere without her, she gives me a hard time. She’s critical of everything I do. Her biggest problem right now is having unrestricted access to my phone. I don’t have anything to hide really. The problem I have with that is I feel it’s only going to create a circle jerk. What if she sees all the TRP articles I’ve saved? Constantly referring to them. She has seen them in my phone before and brings it up sometimes. She calls it “red pill bullshit”. Also, I’m going to have to answer for every website I’ve been to. Every suspicious looking email. Every text message from my buddies. So so far I have denied her access. She has threatened to divorce me if I don’t give her access to my phone.

I sit back and think about all that and I ask myself. How can I give into her demands and still be looked at with respect? I don’t want have to constantly answer for things she doesn’t like in my phone. Also, we haven’t had sex since February. She was pregnant and I just didn’t want to fuck her at that time. I’m just not into fucking pregnant women. It was no biggie because she wasn’t exactly begging for it herself. Even after the baby, neither of us have tried anything in each other. We’ve talked about it but just haven’t done it. I’ll be honest. It’s the baby that makes me want to stay. And I still love my wife somewhat. I “feel” like things can get better but she just on a warpath and wants to oversee every aspect of my life since I cheated. The other day I call myself being nice and I take her with me to one of my clients homes to pick up some documents. I go inside and a few minutes later she’s knocking at the door and is introducing herself to my client. I was furious. When I do overtime she wants to see my pay stubs to verify the hours.

I’m the bread winner in the house and all that torment just doesn’t feel right to me. This is why I resist. I know I cheated but damn, people have done worse. Anyway, I want to be with her and work on things but I just don’t see how I can allow her to do all that shit to me and still be looked at with the smallest ounce of respect. Like if I give her access to my phone, let her question me, let her track me, how the fuck can I bounce back from that?

Btw, I’ve read on here about guys who have cheated and the nuclear level dread made their wives do an about face. None of that has happened to me at all. She’s more concerned with catching me again versus retaining me. No increase in sex like others have reported. Nothing. Dread doesn’t do shit to her