I've done an immense amount of reading over a short period of time, made a ton of notes, and am trying to distill it into a concrete list of what I should be doing over the next 60 days or so. Feedback greatly appreciated.
"Phase I" Proposal I guess this phase lasts a couple months until I make good progress on diet and exercise?
Background: I'm 50, decent shape, 188 lbs, 35% bodyfat (est, will test), 5'10". I think classic drunk captain diagnosis fits best, although I am thinking things probably went completely off the rails about 12 years ago when she got a boob job.
Phase I Reading:
- Finish reading NMMNG It describes me to a 'T'. I called my younger brother to get him to read it. Our childhood is a poster child for the diagnosis. I also note that my W suffers from father abandonment which was caused by her mother (Mom left bio-dad)
- Finish reading Sidebar almost done with non-book materials
- Next read MMSLP
Phase I Getting in Shape:
- Diet - done; ongoing, working
- Diet goal: lose 20 lbs by Christmas
- Exercise - scheduled, started (recruited secretary to enforce schedule, keep clothes and towels at office, laundry service)
- Exercise goal: Following StrongLifts app workout plan to double lift weights next 60 days, double tennis lessons to 2/wk
Phase I Increase SMV:
- Order some new clothes to replace oldest boring stuff
- Go for new style; emphasis on masculinity
Phase I Start Figure Out Frame: Apart from thinking about this more, not completely sure what specifically to do?
- Start thinking about pleasing myself instead of her
- Don't worry about whether she likes what I'm doing
- Plan a few weekend outings for me and the boys w or w/out her
Phase I Interaction with W:
- STFU
- Stop apologizing for anything
- Be a little more commanding and a little less solicitous I'm curious to see how far I can push this but will keep Rambo in mind
- Ignore the ice-queen treatment she can keep this up indefinitely (i.e. fake the confident frame for now, act happy anyways)
- Do the stuff around the house I want to and/or I think needs/should be done
- OMS (OYS?)
Thanks. I was in serious pain when I found this place. Being able to have a plan that can actually be worked is a major blessing. Still very angry but trying to use it for motivation.
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