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Feedback on my 'Phase I' plan?

Reddit View
October 23, 2017

I've done an immense amount of reading over a short period of time, made a ton of notes, and am trying to distill it into a concrete list of what I should be doing over the next 60 days or so. Feedback greatly appreciated.

"Phase I" Proposal I guess this phase lasts a couple months until I make good progress on diet and exercise?

Background: I'm 50, decent shape, 188 lbs, 35% bodyfat (est, will test), 5'10". I think classic drunk captain diagnosis fits best, although I am thinking things probably went completely off the rails about 12 years ago when she got a boob job.

Phase I Reading:

  • Finish reading NMMNG It describes me to a 'T'. I called my younger brother to get him to read it. Our childhood is a poster child for the diagnosis. I also note that my W suffers from father abandonment which was caused by her mother (Mom left bio-dad)
  • Finish reading Sidebar almost done with non-book materials
  • Next read MMSLP

Phase I Getting in Shape:

  • Diet - done; ongoing, working
  • Diet goal: lose 20 lbs by Christmas
  • Exercise - scheduled, started (recruited secretary to enforce schedule, keep clothes and towels at office, laundry service)
  • Exercise goal: Following StrongLifts app workout plan to double lift weights next 60 days, double tennis lessons to 2/wk

Phase I Increase SMV:

  • Order some new clothes to replace oldest boring stuff
  • Go for new style; emphasis on masculinity

Phase I Start Figure Out Frame: Apart from thinking about this more, not completely sure what specifically to do?

  • Start thinking about pleasing myself instead of her
  • Don't worry about whether she likes what I'm doing
  • Plan a few weekend outings for me and the boys w or w/out her

Phase I Interaction with W:

  • STFU
  • Stop apologizing for anything
  • Be a little more commanding and a little less solicitous I'm curious to see how far I can push this but will keep Rambo in mind
  • Ignore the ice-queen treatment she can keep this up indefinitely (i.e. fake the confident frame for now, act happy anyways)
  • Do the stuff around the house I want to and/or I think needs/should be done
  • OMS (OYS?)

Thanks. I was in serious pain when I found this place. Being able to have a plan that can actually be worked is a major blessing. Still very angry but trying to use it for motivation.

Post Information
Title Feedback on my 'Phase I' plan?
Author wildnight98
Upvotes 6
Comments 24
Date 23 October 2017 01:54 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
framesexual market valueliftNMMNG

[–]crimson_chris3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

FRAME. One of the most important parts of your plan. Frame starts whith your mission, which is a glaring omission in your plan. Without a mission you have no frame. Your mission dictates why you do what you do and your frame is the outward projection of your inner goal.

Your mission is what you want. Your goals are how you will achieve it. Your frame is the structure by which to keep it all together.

Good start. Make sure you understand what you are trying to achieve. And here is a little hint, the ultimate goal should not be fucking your wife.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's been said on here that 20% body fat is the starting point. Losing weight and lifting/working out - this is key.

You have a good list here, you just need to tweak it some.

Per this - - you are a drunk captain by your own words. Thus, next you need to work on MMSLP and MAP.

Regarding frame, getting out of her frame and building your own is dread level 1. You need to get out of her reality and start building your own.

You've got a reasonable plan - the main thing is to start working out and losing weight. Don't do it for your bedroom. Do it for you. Do it because you want to be healthy. Do it because you are a man.

[–]470_2_700_nm1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Hahahahaha decent shape.. 35% body fat?

Good joke. Please please stop. My gut... stop!!! Hahahahahaha

[–]Alfalfa1210 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

For the most part excellent plan awesome you put it out like this!

On the part with your wife, on the commanding part, learn the difference between dominant and domineering. If you attempt to be domineering without having fully internalizing your own dominance, it will (rightly) come off as needy behavior. It will take time to become comfortable being more dominant and assertive, so you need to ease into this role with your wife. My father was a Nice Guy who was also domineering. Being controlling can be a needy behavior so watch out for this.

It isn’t in the sidebar but read at least part 1, and if not all of part 1 then at least chapter 1 of Models: how to attract women through honesty. It will explain what I mean by not being “needy”.

Also don’t completely ignore what your wife wants. Find out what she needs out of the relationship because if you don’t give her what she needs then she won’t want to follow you. A good leader listens and provides for his follower’s needs or he alienated them and they mutineer.

And you can apologize for making mistakes if you truly are sorry. Just be your own judge. Be a fair one, not a narcissistic judge.

[–]freshona0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

This is a solid plan. Keep to it.

What's that about boobjob 12 years ago ruining things?

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Outside validation and perceived SMV spike. Thoughts of "I can do better" are fostered from peers, friends, ogling strangers.

She's been augmented. He's stayed the same.

Same thing happens if you get sick or hurt. It repulses women, because your value (in her mind), in comparison to her own, has diminished.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Speaking from experience in my pre-marriage days, I'd guess he's having issues with all the new found attention his wife started receiving post boob job.

Had an ex-GF get her tits done many years ago. The amount of attention she got post surgery was incredible. I couldn't walk away for 2 minutes without coming back to find some dude trying to chat her up. At that time, I couldn't give a fuck less. But I also wasn't 50, out of shape, and competing with Chad's half my age. I was Chad at that point.

Going through that 20 years later with no frame, low SMV and beta as fuck would be a nightmare.

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good plan of action. Now all you have to do is the actual work of implementing it and sticking to it regardless of outcome.

Glad to see you're cognizant of the potential pitfalls of going Rambo. Along with all the steps you've detailed in your plan don't forget to have fun. It's the easiest detail to miss. I personally found that Book of Pook was the best resource for getting into that mindset.

Hope to see you in OYS.

[–]DanceMonkeeDanceRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good plan. Just don't expect her to get on board yet. She won't believe the changes are real for quite some time.

Also, don't change your wardrobe until your clothes don't fit. You can't throw money at this, it requires effort.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Decent shape but 35% bodyfat? Thats fucking huge. But i think youre overestimating. Think about what that means, over 60 pounds of your 188 is fat, and your lean weight is 120.

Ice queen actually does you a favor, you can focus on you without her bitching and nagging. You goals seem to be aligned to the first few levels of dread. Good. And good luck.

[–]BobbyPeru0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm 50, decent shape, 188 lbs, 35% bodyfat

Pretty sure 35% is considered obese.

50 isn’t an excuse either. I’m about your age and 15% BF

Your plan looks somewhat reasonable, but your end goal on BF should be 15%

[–]RPPilot0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm going to go against the group here in the advice on lifting. The general consensus is to lift heavy and low # of reps. I call it the Go Big or Go Home (GBOGH) approach. Works great for some. Mostly the young. Us older guys... it doesn't work as well. I started out with GBOBH, and I wound up blowing out my knee. I'm still lifting, but not legs until I can get my knee fixed. See these articles:

The author of the first article has been lifting for over 20 yrs, and he had to abandon GBOBH once he got into his 40's. I'm 57. I switched over to lower weights, higher reps, and it now feels like I'm getting a MUCH more strenuous workout. The drawback is that it takes longer, but my joints are MUCH happier with the lower weights.

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