I've done an immense amount of reading over a short period of time, made a ton of notes, and am trying to distill it into a concrete list of what I should be doing over the next 60 days or so. Feedback greatly appreciated.

"Phase I" Proposal I guess this phase lasts a couple months until I make good progress on diet and exercise?

Background: I'm 50, decent shape, 188 lbs, 35% bodyfat (est, will test), 5'10". I think classic drunk captain diagnosis fits best, although I am thinking things probably went completely off the rails about 12 years ago when she got a boob job.

Phase I Reading:

  • Finish reading NMMNG It describes me to a 'T'. I called my younger brother to get him to read it. Our childhood is a poster child for the diagnosis. I also note that my W suffers from father abandonment which was caused by her mother (Mom left bio-dad)
  • Finish reading Sidebar almost done with non-book materials
  • Next read MMSLP

Phase I Getting in Shape:

  • Diet - done; ongoing, working
  • Diet goal: lose 20 lbs by Christmas
  • Exercise - scheduled, started (recruited secretary to enforce schedule, keep clothes and towels at office, laundry service)
  • Exercise goal: Following StrongLifts app workout plan to double lift weights next 60 days, double tennis lessons to 2/wk

Phase I Increase SMV:

  • Order some new clothes to replace oldest boring stuff
  • Go for new style; emphasis on masculinity

Phase I Start Figure Out Frame: Apart from thinking about this more, not completely sure what specifically to do?

  • Start thinking about pleasing myself instead of her
  • Don't worry about whether she likes what I'm doing
  • Plan a few weekend outings for me and the boys w or w/out her

Phase I Interaction with W:

  • STFU
  • Stop apologizing for anything
  • Be a little more commanding and a little less solicitous I'm curious to see how far I can push this but will keep Rambo in mind
  • Ignore the ice-queen treatment she can keep this up indefinitely (i.e. fake the confident frame for now, act happy anyways)
  • Do the stuff around the house I want to and/or I think needs/should be done
  • OMS (OYS?)

Thanks. I was in serious pain when I found this place. Being able to have a plan that can actually be worked is a major blessing. Still very angry but trying to use it for motivation.