Hi guys, been working on my map and going ok, 4 months in. For those of you who don't know my my wife is away often and I'll be honest i am a pussy about it. I am sure she uses it to her own power. I am working on basically being more IDGAF about it. Progress is slow. Progress in lifting, diet, etc is good. I get some good dread results from time to time. See more ioi's from randoms. I feel like my SMV is pulling back towards even. We are both coming up to 40 so i have an edge there. 2 kids.
My 'bad behaviour' as per the title, is to be honest something i think we both do to each other.
Example: She got home from 4 day trip last night, I was shaving in the bathroom (can't exactly just stop) so she stopped in the bathroom for a quick kiss etc. We 'touched cheeks' but did not kiss - excusable due to the shaving. In good IDGAF mentality, i let it go, no big deal (said the attention craving whore that i am). Well i thought i let it go. I did not. I drew up a big fuck off covert contract that i needed to see more affection come from her before i would give it out back. I do this a lot and so does she.
We basically create a 'stand-off' for contact and affection. I most often give in (not cave in) and just make the bridge, and often this ends the stand-off.
YES this is an MRP behavioural Q, not just a rant about 'her'
My question is as follows: Some of the MRP tools, specifically DNGAF would say to let it go, no big deal, just dont set up the contract and move on with a 'non-affectionate' interaction. Let her melt in her own time.
But other tools, specifically be a leader, be a man etc - would tell me to be the instigator, lead my woman towards an affectionate interaction, most obviously by being playfully affectionate despite her coldness. (Ie. melt the ice with my heat gun)
At the end of the day the solution is to be the guy she cant resist but fawning all over, i know that. Just curious about which of the two options above are the best in the mean time.
TLDR - Always lead and initiate affectionate interactions, or DNGAF and live with a slow melt ice queen. IMHO DNGAF goes against the proactive leadership