Hello, first post here. Lurker for quite some time. We'll, guess I'll get to it. I caught my GF of 12 years lying and cheating on me. I don't know how long it's been going on but at the very least it could have been a month. My now ex, let's call her Jenny for now, had been going out a lot the past 2 weeks because she has family visiting for 3 weeks. I don't drink and going out to bars was never my thing. Her and her family go out about every weekend. I used to go with them but it got boring quick. I had 100% trust in Jenny and told her all the time that I didn't mind staying home and for her to have fun with her family. These past 2 weeks though, she was coming home after 5am. I always wait up for her because there have been times where she ran out of gas or lost her house keys. I asked why she came back so late without a text or call and she chalked it up to falling asleep at her cousin's friends house. I just shrugged it off and figured whatever. Throughout the 2 weeks, she was coming home at 5-7am. I asked what her deal was and again she said it was just because her family was here and she had so much fun that she just loses track of time. Now one night she asked if I could sleep at my place because she was having the girls over and needed the room (her place is small). I naively agreed. I woke up the next morning and rushed back to her apartment because I had meat marinating and need to start slow cooking it before it got too late. As I open the door to the apartment, I see her family and 3 random dudes on the couch. I was shocked at first then got pissed real quick. First words out of her mouth were "hey, you didn't tell me you were coming over" why the hell would I? No kiss hello or hug when she sees me also. So pissed off I start cooking and ask her to get everyone out. She pushed back and said, we're in the middle of a movie and I want everyone to finish watching it. It is her place so I didn't say anything, I just gave her a look. So the movie is done and everyone leaves. I immediately start fighting with her and leave. I didn't talk to her the whole day and again that night she goes out drinking again. No show until 7am again. I asked if she went to a guys place and she said yes, it was her cousin's friend and that she was ok. I told her to stop doing all of this because it was disrespectful to me. She agreed but said she was still going to out because family. She came home again at 7am. I told her I had it, that if she doesn't stop this I'm gone for good. No calls or texts from her for 3 days straight. So I text her and see what she's done since. Claims she was working and didn't go out at all. So I come back to her place and she drops a bomb on me. Says that I would need to change my mind about marriage, kids and living together and getting rid of my apt (when we first got together told her I would never do either and we agreed that it was ok at the time) or she is out. So I leave and go think it all, I come back later that day and tell her that I think or relationship has too much value to let it go and I agreed to change my views but we need to start budgeting immediately for the changes. I bust out a spreadsheet and get to work. And out of nowhere she says, we're still not good. That she now needs time to think about it and was skeptical of my decision since for the past 12 years, I never wanted any of that. So I left confused as fuck. I knew it in my gut, there was someone else. I start digging around but no one that knows anything will talk to me. I didn't see her for 2 days and go over her place to talk. As we are sitting and talking I see her deleting text conversations. Entire convos, not just messages. She gets in the shower after some talking to get ready for coffee. I quickly Google how to recover them and look at her gps history to see where she is at 5am almost every night. I got the address but only saw a handful of texts because she caught me looking through her phone. The texts read, "I miss you my love" mostly from the other guy. She responded with the same. I was fuming but I kept my cool. I acted like I saw nothing because she thought she was slick deleting them. I go home and tell her to have a goodnight and if she was going anywhere after hours to let me know. At 3am that night, I go to the address after she told me she was going home. I see her car and I knock on the door. No answer, so I see if it's open. It's unlocked so I walk in and see her, her cousin and the other guy sitting on a love seat. He quickly jumped up and went to the other couch. She was pissed that I just walked in and demanded to know why I was there. We argued and kept saying nothing physical ever happened between them I tell her about the texts I saw and she claim it was only "emotional" and never did anything with him. But she also claims that she was thinking of breaking up with me because of my views and he was just someone she was "talking" to for the past week but didn't come to a decision yet. You don't send texts like that to someone you haven't fucked. I made her leave and go to her place and I went home. The hurt was so bad. I changed my views for this chick and i think she only asked me to do it thinking I would say no and walk away and then she could jump into a new relationship guilt free. I'm literally beside myself KNOWING full well what I should do, but not being able to do it. I don't want to lose to this dish washer without a green card, because I know I'm 100 times better than him. I got more money than him, a better Apt and I look way better than him! My fucking ego is destroying me right now! It's making me want to believe that nothing physical ever happened but it just can't be true.
Update: Guys I have read every comment so far and I get it, paragraphs, my hamster went into overdrive. I did in fact setup a no strings attached relationship so I could jump ship when the time was right, but she was the one that benefited from that and not me, so I acted like the bitch. I'm good now though. I went back to her place and removed all of my accounts from her PC, changed all of my passwords, packed up all my shit, made her go to the bank to pay me the money she owes me and bounced.
Since then, I was invited to a bar a friend of mine DJ's at and bumped into my (recent) ex there. Our friends and families are very close and I couldn't really get away from the situation when they all got together. Then out of nowhere, bam, one of the hottest chicks I have ever known (my teenage crush who is still about a HB8) walks in and is shocked to see me. Tells me how good I look and can't believe the change. In my teen years I was the fat, super bluepilled, gamer kid (I have been lifting now for 5 yrs). My 2 close friends that were there instantly start asking who she is and if she is single.
Then while my ex was talking to me and my 2 other friends, my old crush comes up and starts hitting on me and asks me to facebook her. I know, it sounds so made up because the revenge couldn't have felt any better! My ex walks away, heated, and my 2 friends just looked at me and asked how in the hell can I be that lucky? We always joke about a video from Casually Explained: The Friend Zone and I just shouted out, "STEP ONE!"
It was too perfect.
Edit: Changed link to jump to the explaination of step 1.
Edit #2: My ex's mom keeps calling me asking what happened. I guess she found out we broke up. I love her mom, she treats me like her own son and I don't want to cause her any pain if she finds out what her daughter has done. Her mom is super old school and will flip out on my ex if she hers the truth. So my question is, should I tell her or just tell her to ask her daughter? I have ignore all of her calls so far.