So long post and first post.

Context:

Been on MMSL Forum until Athold closed it down for 2 years. Have been MAPing for that long and have been red pill aware for that long

My wife cheating on me got me started on this path. Short story is I was as bad as a male can be without actually growing a pussy and becoming a child again. I was a nice guy with mommy issues who was afraid of my wife and had a gaming addiction. I literally contributed nothing but income to our relationship for 12 years before she cheated on me. Even though I knew, it took me 4 years (6 months of MAPing) to finally man up and take control, tell the other dude to fuck off. It took another six months of MAPing to put serious divorce on the table unless she stopped internet searching him everyday

I have come a very long way over two years, but I have a very long way to go. Sex is still infrequent, but once every week or two is better than 3 times a year before I started MAPing. I believe my main problem over the first year was doing it for her or for us, and not for me. Honestly I can say I didn't kick her out because of the kids, but that was only the last time. The first three times I caught her cheating on me with this dude I didn't kick her out because I was afraid.

So, where am I now:

Work, money, stuff:

Top of my game. I have tripled my income to over seven figures and own it at work. Still more to do, but I get this game well

Fitness:

On and off. I do gym between 3-6 days a week. I am in good shape, but not the best possible shape. I want to get it back to 6 days a week. I am 5'11" and weight 75kg, so building muscle is what I need to do.

I eat well and am strict. When I went red pill, I cold turkey on coffee, wheat, dairy, sugar etc. I was tested heavily but held firm. Now I slack off on vacation only

Fatherhood:

I have come to a place whereby I take an active interest and even partially lead the future of my kids. This is from a place where I used to actively complain at my wife about shit it was that kids took my time (away from being lazy!).

Marriage:

I now lead. Most impactful thing Athol ever said to me was, "you are in the lead, whether you like it or not". Frankly this scared me, I didn't want to be in the lead, but I jumped in and now I try and often do lead. I can easily identify shit tests, by probably only pass 60% of them. One area I am now good is IO for sex and some other stuff. If she says no, I say OK and do my own thing. Until a few days ago I never got the do not give a fuck thing and was actively pissy and whatever, I now know to not do this. STFU is something I am practicing heavily and only really talk to her about stuff when I want an outcome. For example, recently I started looking for a new job, I didn't tell her, I do t want her to feel insecure and really I don't need her input. One obvious area for improvement is fun. I hardly ever take her out and when I try she actively sabotages it. I book lunch at a pub for the family, she complains bitterly until we are actually there and then has fun. I ask her if I can take her out, she makes excuses like the weather, feeling fat, etc - so I don't bother. I know this needs to change

So what outcomes bother me. Well, life has materially improved since I started MAPing. For starters, I have actual goals and projects that I enjoy. I am fitter, healthier and more positive. I am starting to live in my own head and not constantly look for approval. However, home is still a place with very little affection. Sex is not frequent and any intimacy (like a hug, kiss, etc) is initiated by me and coldly received. She is still acting I. Self provision mode (even though I am sole earner and now newly self appointed leader) - she clearly does not accept my leadership and does not fully submit to it.

I guess what I am after is direction. All the direction I have received so far is MMSL specific. What obvious things could I be missing. What obvious areas for improvement could I target. I am at a place where I am looking for ways to be the best possible version of me