Fork in the road

stonepimpletilists · 2017-03-10T17:10:51+00:00

I'm guessing someone isn't a fan of having to own his shit. Not a lot of feedback.

atlhart · 2017-03-10T15:52:29+00:00

Lot of people complaining about your wife and telling you to "Tell her once". I swear these people should not be allowed to post. Blame her. She's the problem. Fix her. WTF. Have these people even read the sidebar?

This isn't a shit test. This is your wife leading.

Dude, you're not the captain. You're the problem. You can't tell her shit. She's the boss. If you want to change that, you need to lead. Actions, not words.

You're business sucks, you're a financial drain, it sounds like she's working and keeping up the house. What are you doing? No wonder she's the boss of you. Your 60 and she has to do everything for you. You might only have one child in the house, but she has two.

Why does your business suck? What are you doing about it? Why is keeping up the house difficult for her? What are you doing to manage the resources? Remember, you're a resource too. If she's got too much on her plate, you need to reallocate which means take some on yourself.

People choose to follow leaders. If she's not following you, you're not leading.

Where are you in your RP journey? Have you read the Sidebar? The course requisites? Are you in shape? Just cause you're 60 doesn't mean you shouldn't be in the gym 3+ days a week. Consult a personal trainer to find a routine that's good for you. Are you improving your finances, or are you just coasting off your wife's salary until she allows you to finally give up on your business and "retire"?

You're the problem. Fix yourself. Become a leader. Your wife will follow.

Scurvemuch · 2017-03-10T17:20:17+00:00

are you stupid?

Wife has knee problem...

Supports you financially

Asks to get a house more conducive to her physical needs.....

Either you are not telling us something, or you a huge idiot.

stonepimpletilists · 2017-03-10T15:51:39+00:00

Sounds pretty legit. Sounds like you're emotionally attached to something you put work into.

You got oneitis for the house.

Having said that, sounds like she never thought it through very much either. Best advice? Both of you find an adult to figure out a way ahead

redmountainpill · 2017-03-10T16:48:56+00:00

Dude, she's paying for you to be a waste of space at home while she busts her ass providing for you guys. Until you become a man worth anything you don't have much of a say.

UEMcGill · 2017-03-10T18:04:46+00:00

I have a theory that two things women have in life are resources, and accessories. Some things, like Beta bux, are resources. Even Alpha fux is a resource as it provides gina tingles. She will move to maintain those such that her physical and emotional needs are met. It brings rise to things like war brides and branch swinging. In the best scenario you're a Alpha provider.

On the other side are accessories. These are the things that provide a woman validation. "Ooooh, a nice couch that Beta bux hubby bought me, these pillow would go great with it!" Accessory.

Orbiter who tells her she's beautiful and shouldn't feel any shame for having an n-count over 200, accessory.

But the thing about them, take that same couch 10 years later and now it's got coffee stains, lumpy cushions and a sagging spring set? See how fast she puts it to the curb.

That same beta orbiter? See what happens to him when some post wall sloot locks him down and he's no longer her echo chamber. "oh his new girl friend is such a bitch"

Your wife's house is an accessory, and it's grown out of its function for validation. She no longer has the bustling house to show off to the other moms and the like and its lost its shine.

The real question you should ask is what am I in her life?

anythinginc · 2017-03-10T15:55:28+00:00

Be OPs wife

husband deeply involved in "the occult," "hinduism," and "freemasonry"

watch his grasp on reality slip away

he starts performing "magic" and "formulas" and "rituals"

be old, want to retire someday

Shit, I'm going to have to start planning for the second half of my life on my own

If we downsize out of this money-pit, my retirement might be able to keep us from eating catfood

Get your head out of your ass Rummuh13. Dedicating time to the crusty-fart version of Dungeons and Dragons and LARPing isn't doing you any favors. When you die, it's just like before you were born. Mystery of life solved.

You know who seeks power in rituals and magic? POWERLESS PEOPLE.

Now that we have established how powerless you feel in the face of a chaotic, indifferent universe, we can begin discussing how to stop seeking sources of power OUTSIDE yourself..and begin finding power INSIDE yourself...and I'm not talking about your chakras or some shit, I'm talking about using your head and your heart and your hands to make you and your family's life better.

logger1234 · 2017-03-10T15:27:15+00:00

Kids gone? Move into a bedroom on the first floor maybe?

LewisCross · 2017-03-10T18:56:34+00:00

OP, you're the woman in this relationship. You're the wife.

That's why your marriage is the way it is.

Hell - she announced you need to sell the house. You don't like it. But you complied - you had it appraised.

This isn't a shit test. She's just leading. She's the captain and you're the first mate. She's the husband, you're the wife.

alphabeta49 · 2017-03-10T20:14:29+00:00

Paging u/over60_stupid_loner to give this poor man a much needed kick in the ass.

cholomite · 2017-03-10T15:24:50+00:00

You're able to see the whole picture better than she is. Her ideas are fueled by emotion, not so much logic or reason. If you think selling your house is a bad move, it's probably a bad move. If you end up selling it and end up in a shitty condo or something, she will still blame you for making the wrong decision. Just make sure your decision is based in reason and not just sentimental value or sunken cost because of all the remodelling. If you decide to stay she'll be mad, but if you do move and it doesn't work out, she'll be mad too, so you might as well do what you want to do anyway.

The knee thing sounds like it might be an issue that you need to address. Maybe relocate some stuff downstairs so she doesn't need to use them as often, or install one of those chair lift things. Or just get her to lose weight.

Westernhagen · 2017-03-10T15:41:10+00:00

"she's tired of dealing with it"

What does this mean? She is paying for it? She is doing upkeep? She is doing routine cleaning? Or she's just tired of walking up the stairs?

Sounds like YOU are doing most of the "dealing with it", and if so, her complaint is not valid.

If you have owned it for a long time, then you should have lots of equity, and it should be possible to sell it and buy something else decent (even if somewhat smaller). Unclear why this is not true, but if it's a bad deal financially then you simply have to put your foot down and say no. You own 50% of this asset. Don't get screwed just because she doesn't like walking up the stairs. (And ya know, she isn't going to get thinner if you move into a house without stairs...)

screechhater · 2017-03-11T00:06:00+00:00

How in the fuck is this a fork in the road ?

Apparently, you have lived your life with not Owning Your Shit or you would have discovered that home in that neighborhood hit its sunk cost fallacy @ dollar X

Time is now to watch Bar Rescue and see how John Tapper kicks ass turning a ship around Apply to your business

Want to help her lose weight ? Try Whole 30 and cook for her

Time to lead It's not hard just different

Title	Fork in the road
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	4
Comments	29
Date	March 10, 2017 3:14 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/5ymkrs/fork_in_the_road/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/fork-in-the-road.206431 https://theredarchive.com/post/206431

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