What to do when Dread has no effect?

Hello Gentlemen,

I am in need of some advice, as I seem to have ended up in a rather unusual situation. I'll try to be concise, but believe that a little backstory would be helpful so there's a lot of text here.

I'm in my mid-30's, and have been married to my wife for almost ten years. We started dating as college freshmen, and our relationship was the first (and only) serious relationship for both of us. We have two children, a preschooler and a 9 month old baby. I was raised by a very blue pill father and a domineering mother and so it was not until I was married with children that I came to understand why our previously happy marriage had become stale, and why my wife thought it was acceptable to gradually let herself go over time.

Before we had kids our sex life was okay, but not great. My wife is fairly high strung and needed to be relaxed to be horny, and I was often hesitant to initiate sex and actively avoid conflict due to my blue pill, sensitive guy upbringing. Neither of us was in particularly good shape or sexually adventurous, and I supplemented our sex life with porn on a regular basis. Things understandably got worse after the birth of our first child, but I was understanding and gave her a lot of slack for the first year.

After two years it became clear that she just didn't care about looking good or having sex regularly, and I was pretty disgruntled as a result. Having no clue about TRP I unintentionally began a crude form of Dread Game in the hope that I could lead by example. I started getting in shape, dressing better and doing activities apart from my wife simply because I enjoyed them. I was never significantly overweight or sloppy looking, but was able to boost my SMV probably from a 5 to an 8 by getting my shit together. I'm outgoing, confident and now apparently reasonably attractive. People now comment on the improvement in my appearance, and my wife is generally unsettled but makes only half-hearted efforts to follow my lead. She joined a gym but never goes, and her diet is mediocre with too much junk food. She gets testy when I try to get her to buy healthy food; she obviously feels guilty but isn't willing to change. She's the kind of person who hates calorie labels at restaurants because she'd rather be ignorant about what she's eating. For reference she's 5'4" and I'm guessing 160 pounds, whereas I'm 5'7" and weigh 130.

After about six months of working to improve myself with no effect on my wife's behavior, I decide to start discretely dating on the side because I was fed up with having crappy sex every two weeks and looking for an outlet. At this point I still have no idea that the manosphere exists, I'm just off doing whatever I think will make me happy without blowing up my marriage.

It turns out that I'm actually something of a natural when it comes to game and quite good at sex. At some point I discover various red pill websites and use the information I learn to up my game even further. I end up sleeping with a series of young women in fairly short order, and eventually end up where I am today, which is in a 6 month+ LTR with a mid-20's girl with a high sex drive and a daddy kink. We have sex as often as I want, which is basically daily. My logistics for this are quite good although I'd rather not go into detail for fear of being doxxed.

Sounds great right? So here's the problem... I don't want to live a double life, I want my wife to improve herself so we can both be happy again. I have basically run through every level of dread short of telling my wife that I'm having an affair, but she hasn't responded at all. She's questioned me on it in the past when I've been distant or in a bad mood, but she thinks I'm a terrible liar and would be genuinely shocked if she knew what I was up to. I don't have the heart to tell her that I'm no longer attracted to her (I did once and her response was basically to beg me not to leave her, it was not fun). I have zero interest in having sex with her; her body grosses me out and I'm already so sexually satisfied that I can't physically get turned on by her. I'm not proud of cheating, but I feel like it's a better option than divorcing someone I love just because she got fat and our sex like is crap. So what the hell am I supposed to do???