There's a lot of amateur bumbling in this post so I'm placing it here rather than the main sub.
I've been incredibly busy lately and yesterday, in hoping to have some down time, I managed to lower my guard and wander into a shit test storm. I wasn't prepared and now there's a cold war being waged in our home.
I woke up this morning having realized my wife and I haven't spoken since just after the kids went down last night. With 4 kids, our fights are rarely vocal.
I'm reflecting on yesterday and realize I was getting one shit test after another. All.Day. I think I handled most of them pretty well since my memory of my responses weren't memorable. At the very least, they didn't draw me into her frame since I don't recall really caring about what she was saying...except.
She made a comment to me later in the evening, in front of the kids, that was incredibly disrespectful and out of character. Didn't see it coming and certainly didn't like it. I didn't react, I laughed it off. Probably wasn't the best laugh it off, most likely forced.
After the kids get into bed, she actually makes a similar statement toward me. I'm sure she saw the first one sting and decided to retest.
She makes the comment and then says,
"what, does that upset you?"
"a little, yeah" <-- too honest. Should have continued laughing this off
"are you going to do anything about it?" <-- Could have made a joke
and here's where I sorta froze. Not sure what to say, I vocalize what I'm thinking.
"you're actually pretty easy to ignore"
and I head off to finish my evening.
We went to bed at different times. She woke up well before me and was getting on with her day. She did what she could to avoid me and there has been no contact since.
She appears to be leveling up her game as I level up mine. That's why I say her comment was quite out of character.
So. You and your wife engage in a cold war. You're apart all the next day as you're both working. When you get home, do you act as though nothing happened? Do you maintain silence? What's the plan.
Finally, if you don't know me:
- Married almost 20 years
- 4 kids
- mid 40s
- strong SMV, wife is the same
- good job
- well known and liked in the community
- lift, stay fit