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Sprinkling Alpha and Cutting off Beta doesn't work

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October 10, 2016
16 upvotes

If you sprinkle the Alpha and cut off the Beta it looks like bad shit happens. I think that is what we are seeing in several examples recent and ancient. We have long noted that you cannot just sprinkle some Alpha on it and make the meat taste good.

However, the pattern I claim to have identified in several cases is when you sprinkle on the Alpha AND at the same time suddenly stop being the Beta emotional tampon then you have suddenly removed the entire reason for her staying married to you. News flash: This is NOT going to make your marriage better.

Add a little "anger stage" into the mix and we have the makings of the cluster fuck described in many stories.

Let me help out especially you "Alpha" guys who are natural assholes. If you are going to sprinkle on some "Alpha" by, for example lifting, doing guy stuff, responding to shit tests, leading etc then it is NOT a good idea to also remove all the "Beta" for example listening to her, expressing emotional connection blah blah.

When we say go slow, we really, really mean it. Don't go Red Pill Rambo. Don't start to challenge your woman, especially in public. Don't remove YOU and your emotional connection to your wife (aka "Beta") at least not completely.

Do cut back on the Beta and increase the Alpha. Do become SLIGHTLY more aloof, confident, and busy. Do make an effort to pass Shit test AND COMFORT TESTS.

Posting on AskMRP as a lower quality post because I am not sure if I am right in my theory on relating Alpha sprinkles and Beta withdrawal. This is a concept I am hoping to flesh out because I think there is something there but I don't have it yet.


Post Information
Title Sprinkling Alpha and Cutting off Beta doesn't work
Author BluepillProfessor
Upvotes 16
Comments 68
Date 10 October 2016 01:56 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207016
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/56plfp/sprinkling_alpha_and_cutting_off_beta_doesnt_work/
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Comments

[–][deleted] 13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

Part of this is the Ultra Hardcore Red Pill online mentality. New user read some amazon reviews and synopses of the side bar, a bunch of posts by the more experienced users calling people fags, and /r/thathappened progress reports with some badass special forces guy that let it all go years back but has been lifting for a month and lost 5 pounds and now his wife has broken his dick.

Anyway there is a pissing contest mentality with the alpha stuff, because frankly who wants to read the FR where I tell you guys that I started a weekly business meeting with my wife and part of that is asking her how she feels? Who wants to hear me telling you guys I like cuddling with my wife and we both feel connected when we do so? No one wants to hear me talking about the sweet things I tell my wife to a) reinforce the awesome things she does for our family and because b) making her feel good makes us both happier. And the outcome of these actions are that our house is now clean, she stopped complaining about being a stay at home mom, and dinner is served nightly. No starfish either. And yes, I lift. And I also fuck up at home regularly.

FR here are all "Hey guys I'm 250 pounds 8% body fat I just threw away all my clothes and dropped 5k on a new wardrobe. My job just gave me a 50k raise and my wife won't let me put my dick in her ass. Other women let me grab them by the pussy, is that cheating? Guys I think the nuclear main event is coming, fuck me or fuck her. Lawyered up, Facebook deleted, doing Pilates 3x/week and 100mg tren ED. My kids don't like me so I told then to call me when they are 18."

It's more fun to read the unhinged stories and then circlejerk in the comments. There are a few incredibly helpful users on here that have their shit together and have personally helped me when I post.

It's all about balance and self-improvement. Being the best version of yourself might include things like openness and emotional vulnerability, killing your ego and your covert contracts, in addition to your newfound godly abs and Judo gold medal.

Having nice things like having friends and hobbies doesn't mean we have to be assholes too - be better, not worse.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

How did your wittiness escape my notice? It's in short supply so let it out more often why don't you.

[–]trp_dude1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

openness and emotional vulnerability

Everything you said is correct, except this part. Vulnerability is the kiss of death. Don't go there.

OP, when people say kill the beta, there is a bit of mixing of terms. What they mean is that you need to do less of the anti-alpha stuff like oneitis, compliance, and generally being a pushover.

Beta is not the opposite of alpha. True beta is being the emotional rock, providing security, etc. Lowering beta never does any good.

You need both alpha and beta in a LTR.

A good analogy is a car engine. You need both air and gas. Most of us ended on on MRP because we were providing lots and lots of air but no gas. You step on the gas, that's good, but if you cut off the air, you got nothing.

So when people say sprinkle the alpha and cut off the beta, they don't actually mean cut off the beta. What they should say is sprinkle the alpha and cut off the anti-alpha.

[–]fuckmrpRed Beret7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Another aspect is she, her perception of you, must change as well. Her pace in this transformation is independent of your ability to flip that switch. The whole relationship has to change around your efforts. You change, literally changing your reality.

She then decides if she would like to continue to be part of the new reality. She'll either stay or go. The guys who have worse marriages are the sprinkle genies. They're not improving so shit gets worse.

It's okay to spoon her guys, you're not a pussy...

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

What is working for me can be summarized as: "upgrade beta with alpha".

If I don't have a clear idea how I want to try and improve something, I don't do it. I will try new things just for the hell of it though, if I can't think of a reason not to. I also don't do things to deliberately piss my wife off (playful teasing--hell yes).


Another thing that works very well for me and goes against "killing beta" is I'm much more generous and sincere with the comfort and praise than I had been. I make an effort to appreciate and encourage her efforts and support her when she's struggling. For example at some point I realized she was feeling pressure to be "flawless" mom and was hiding failures and setbacks and nasty thoughts about our kids because she thought I would think poorly of her. I actually don't care about that at all so opened the door for her with some gallows humor. It was like a dam burst. I have to say- I adore the sarcastic bitch mom side she's letting me see now.

Being generous and supportive I find gives me a lot of rope to play around. Random comfort and praise seems to help brake the apology/butthurt interpretations of your behavior and nurtures OI. I think it's easy to think you're more comforting than you actually are. Initially I started tracking that in one of those habit trackers spreadsheet-guy style (did you provide unrequested/non-butthurt appreciation/praise/encouragement today?) and was shocked how poorly I was performing.

So: upgrade beta to alpha. then add more beta so you have more to upgrade.


Edit to add: I think the real trick is moving past covert contracts. Somehow you have to end the covert contracts. Of course removing the beta that's intertwined with covert contracts ends the contracts so it seems like an obvious thing to do... but it also removes beta. Early on doing that did blow up in my face. Somehow you have to preserve the beta while removing the contract. For me developing a "generosity" mindset was the key, but yeah--it was rocky and I had to resort to monk mode for us both to learn that the strings weren't there. But I would also say that covert contracts poison beta. Hmmm. Now I'm getting confused! You'd think that merely removing poisoned beta would be an improvement, but... I know from experience that it's not. In the end I had to keep the poisoned beta until it became not poisoned.

Edited again: Ok, maybe what happens is that removing poisoned beta is perceived as emotional withdrawal from the relationship and presents a perception of ratcheting toward divorce. We know it's a long-term investment in the emotional health of the relationship, but what does she perceive? Somehow actively prioritizing counteracting the perception of emotional withdrawal might be wise. You want her to be thinking "things are changing" rather than "things are ending" if that makes any sense.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm much more generous and sincere with the comfort and praise than I had been.

I fully support and practice this myself. It is being benevolent and magnanumous; and it flows from abundance mentality, OI, and frame. Once you kill the covert contracts, and accept this:

man>woman>child

why would you not want to be a source of comfort for your woman. What do you have to loose when it flows like water from you? Stop keeping score; and just be that great guy.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You want her to be thinking "things are changing" rather than "things are ending" if that makes any sense.

That makes a LOT of sense. I think the goal is to get her thinking that maybe- just maybe- things are actually changing for the better.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm not sure it's possible to get her on your side and I'm not sure it's even helpful. It could keep the addiction to external validation online and slow the growth of frame.


IMHO this goes back to the "in her frame" question and jack10's three phase model for the MRP psychological process. Jack10's proposed arc has three phases:

  1. The man and woman exist in the woman's frame.

  2. The man has his own frame, his wife respects him again.

  3. Woman abandons her frame and submits to his.

The big warning about phase 3 was that it is so rarely seen that nobody really had much experience with it. And it seemed that many people were perfectly happy at phase 2. So it's more speculative. IMHO there are two major assumptions in this model that need to be carefully considered:

Assumption 1: She is operating in her own frame.

Assumption 2: Woman operating in the man's frame is the goal.

For me this is where Intimacy & Desire provides powerful insights. Broadly speaking it describes evolution of romantic relationships this way:

  1. The emotional fusion (NRE) fuels the relationship in an external-validation, external-soothing orgy. Everyone is drunk living in each other's frame (not their own). It's extremely exciting.

  2. The fusion inevitably dies, both the man and woman manipulate desperately trying to restart the fusion and restore the external fix. Manipulation, deception and disrespect undermine intimacy and desire dies.

  3. Both kick their external habit, build and move into their own frames (self-validation, self-soothing). Strong frames allow deep intimacy (see hedgehog's dilemma). Respect and intimacy is developed and desire returns.

The two models are similar but I&D model addresses the assumptions more elegantly.

[–]onmyownpath14 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy

This is a great topic.

Personally, I believe every person (male and female) has within them the possibility to be Alpha or beta. There is a continuum.

Many marriages look like this.

Wife beta <-------------------------------Wife--------->Alpha

Husband beta <--------Husband---------------------------->Alpha

Add to this concept the fact that in every group of two or more people, there will always be an Alpha.

So - If the husband will not be Alpha, the wife will. I mean, somebody has to fill the void. Somebody has to decide shit.

Also, if there are two Alphas in the same group, they will compete for that position. Among men, this is often friendly competition. Sometimes it is hostile.

Among women, the competition is rarely friendly. Alpha women absolutely destroy their competition.

If the husband just suddenly cranks it up to 11 and goes all Alpha, all he is doing is creating conflict. What does he think will fucking happen? You are two Alpha's, locked in a cage together. No breaks. No distance. One of them is female.

There is about to be a fight to the death and the marriage is what will die.

That is why it is so, so important that when a woman shit tests or cranks up the conflict as the husband is improving that he does not fight back. Instead, he must give distance to allow her Alpha to calm down and realize that she is messing up.

Over time, she will cause fewer and fewer conflicts and start to trust that her man is not just a second pussy in the house.

Here is the thing, both sexes are able to be Alpha or beta. The feminine is most comfortable toward the beta side and the masculine is most comfortable toward the Alpha side. Neither can be 100% at the extreme without causing major problems.

beta men need to change one thing at a time. Start making decisions gradually. And never, ever go to 11 Alpha because it is completely unsustainable and will only serve to make everyone (not just your wife) hate you. 100% Alpha is Clint Eastwood in the desert, on his horse, alone, killing mother fuckers who cross him. It is awesome to think about but impossible to manage.

Since there will always be an Alpha, if you have been a pussy and let your wife fill that role, you have to change the mix gradually so she can adjust. She will be much, much happier toward the beta end because then she can be that carefree feminine person that she wants to be.

Feminine wants to submit to masculine. But if there is no masculine around to submit to, her Alpha will come out and fill the void. It is the way of nature.

Nature abhors a vacuum. You can look at any relationships between animals, tribes, or nations and prove that this is true.

You don't sprinkle Alpha - you begin to identify more with your Alpha traits and less with the beta.

Anyone who tries this overnight is just pretending and your wife is laughing at you, losing respect for you, testing you, starting fights, and maybe leaving you because she knows - knows - you are just acting.

There is nothing worse than a beta acting like an Alpha. It makes you lower than a bitch. It makes you a slimy weak scumbag pussy faggot.

It is impossible to just suddenly become Alpha. You just begin to identify more with the Alpha until you reach a happy point in your relationship. You will not ignore the comfort tests because you didn't just jump to 11 Alpha and make yourself look like a damn fool.

[–]sh0ckley0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

+1

[–]briareos_uk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

+1 (this reply is awesome)

[–]red-pill-man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Have an upvote.

[–]JuniperSunshineSomebody's wife0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

+1

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

I know doing it to make a point tends to go bad. Goes in part with the children having temper tantrums.

This would be a good time for jack to come back me thinks

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

He never left in spirit!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

he did leave in word count though.

at least he was kind enough to leave the account name, easier to search his stuff

[–]Alpha_Rising1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Most of the problems seem to stem from a fundamental misunderstanding of what a true Alpha is. A true Alpha is a LEADER. But it seems a common noob mistake to assume an Alpha is an asshole or a bossy and controlling bitch. It takes time to win respect and trust and thereby become followed as a proven leader. Suddenly morphing into a demanding asshole does not inspire respect or trust as a leader.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

LOL. Common mistake, no shit Never ceases to amaze me, " while at work I gave the SO a list of shit to do, she didn't do it. Any advice how to punish her ? " WTF seriously ?

The easiest step for any noob is Athol Kay's advice of the little sexual comments thrown into the mix daily. That along with diet and exercise almost guarantees you the reigns in a smooth transition

Asshole not, my young MRPer. Suddenly taking care of oneself person and remaining personable has the biggest results, it does yes

[–]freshona1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've done this. Cut back on the beta, for no seeming reason. Just anger at everything. Again for no reason. I had my shit good before I even read about RP, I had my shit good while I read it, and then I had my shit less good because stupidity. Cut down the beta, pretty much all of it.

When we say go slow, we really, really mean it. Don't go Red Pill Rambo. Don't start to challenge your woman, especially in public. Don't remove YOU and your emotional connection to your wife (aka "Beta") at least not completely.

Done this. It wasn't pretty. Luckily I've been able to deal with it without nuking everything. [sarcasm] Not that I'd care cos I'm an OI motherfucker [/sarcasm]

Do cut back on the Beta and increase the Alpha. Do become SLIGHTLY more aloof, confident, and busy. Do make an effort to pass Shit test AND COMFORT TESTS.

I was already low on the beta, so cutting back on it and amping up some Alpha WHENEVER I COULD (and the chances were slim, because things were good to begin with) didn't lead to anything good. Just more anger.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The fact of the matter is read as suggested, lift and get busy with the bros and hobbies. After taking stock of your situation with reading, start applying that new info going slowly.

The natural Tendency to rush in to making changes, only sends up red flags. The most important thing you can do that makes the biggest impact is lifting at a gym. Second is to make damned sure you do exactly what you say you are going to do. Get the fucking milk on the way home. (Who wants to fuck a retard that can't remember milk ?)

Go slow. Rushing the process only makes her reject you further due to conflict of behavior. I bode you good luck

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Something to consider :

As guys start to be men again there is a tendency to have this Feel as withdrawn. It also coincides with the anger phase in terms of timing.

So now we have a guy who is being more masculine- a time when shit tests WILL increase. Except the intended previous result of shit tests doesn't occur and the wife does even more of the crap that caused the guy came here.

This is a tricky time. Guy isn't by any means attractive yet, he is angry and will see even the normal female antics as shit tests and get upset/ angry at normal, or at least previously "unnoticed" stuff.

Still not enough sex or respect and this will fuel more crap. This is also the time the newly unplugged man will likely make the common mistakes - including not STFU enough, or go overboard and not communicate at all.

This is also the time that a guy may care about the marriage the least (reactively) and the time when all of his adjustments just seem fucking weird.

Sprinkling alpha and still going full beta emotionally doesn't work well either.

I don't know the answer. I think stone handles his situation the best out of those that are still together for the time we are talking about. But I do think maybe not actually being married helps this in his case. Or maybe it was that he had too much other significant stuff to worry about career wise.

My suggestion is to make a "levels of beta comfort" step list to mirror each of the steps of dread. Will have to think about this more when I'm back from leg day.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (25 children) | Copy

Maybe what you describe is another manifestation of the lack of a sense of proportion which in many cases was a contributing factor for some men getting into this mess in the first place. The sudden onset of the sense of urgency and it gets misdirected.

As an aside, the development of the lexicon continues.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (24 children) | Copy

Is it a "development" of the lexicon, or a conflating of it? My RP understanding of "alpha" and "beta" don't match what BPP described. CAD used to jump into a discussion like this and bitch about how the terms were used to denote qualities, when they are best described as states of being.

I'm interested in your proportion approach to relationship fitness, because we discuss a lot of addition and subtraction when it comes to what men should do to improve their frequency and quality of sex.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

best described as states of being

Yes this is correct and if I recall my reading correctly this concept was originally illustrated when Stoney coined the phrase "sprinkle a little" on it.

It is only my observation that many here are men of extremes, whatever the variety.

As far as the lexicon goes, I never use the labels, purposeful of course on my part. And anyway, if I can be fanciful for a minute, as the path widens and the view appears, they kind of cease to matter.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Shared vocabulary as a means of explaining to the uninitiated should give way at some point to integrated thinking by the user to explain RP concepts to the simplest of people.

To make a really old reference, are we just members of the He-man Woman Haters Club, or are we trying to get good frequency and quality from our chosen partners?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

except for the obvious, how are others here extremes...

I've got myself, addict, adderall as extreme... who else?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You trying to help me pick a fight? lol

I was only trying to make the point that the propensity for extreme behavior, of which we have daily proof be it spreadsheets or oneitis, makes falling at the first hurdle (implementation) the more likely.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Not really, I just didn't know what you meant by extremes.

If you had said "bunch of semi autistic monkeys", I would have understood immediately.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

RedDread, TFA, Rollo, CAD

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I think we are all talking about different categories of extreme.

I'd like to see a WWF type throwdown with RedDread, TFA and Cad--- with BPP as the announcer and Stoney as the ref.

Maybe Have Brass up there doing commentary.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Jesus v. Captain America v. Satan.

Totally agree. A pure AMOG-a-thon.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'll be the complimentary midget wrestler who somehow wins.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (14 children) | Copy

If you are going to stick to RP definitions only, then Alpha simply means success at getting laid.

SO, if communicating your feelings and hugz, and flowers and romance songs got you laid by themselves, then that would be considered alpha. Since those things do not work unless you are actually attractive, they are not alpha behaviors.

"State of being" as used by Cad, and he can correct me, is essentially being so god damn Hawt that you can give her a bitten of hot dog and she will experience a candle lit dinner at the top of a mountain with a private musician playing the violin just for "her"

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (13 children) | Copy

His go to example of the "alpha" has always been Corey Worthington at age 16. Gets fucked, has fun, gives zero fucks. Tells even HB9 reporter "No."

We are giving meaning to terms that don't need meaning. This is another reason why I, and guys like weakandsensitive push integration of concepts with use of "non-jargon."

Any guy here, at some point, should be able to explain any RP concept in plain language and be convincing in doing so.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy

agreed. Its just amusing that we define rule #'s but seem to have trouble figuring out lexicon. Either way, we know what it means. Anyone who gets confused will ask I am sure.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy

A little STEM heavy around these parts.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

We didn't kill all the lawyers yet.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Nor should you ever as the world would likely stop spinning

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you teach solipsism now?

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

You have two in this thread for some perspective. Not everything is a problem to solve.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

See my reply to the other one.

I was riffing off Bill Shakespeare

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

I know, I'm trying to maintain frame.

[–]Chump_No_More0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

When guys read Rollo's 'Alpha' post, it's typically misunderstood.

Corey W wasn't an 'alpha' because was a bad boy who got laid, he was an alpha because his frame was inviolate, immovable.

Alpha isn't a demographic, it's a mindset. Alpha = Frame and everything else is just window dressing... and unnecessarily confusing to new people.

[–]RuleZeroDADRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. Telling the HB9 off is the alpha part.

[–]WesternhagenWinner0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Some of this is probably coming from NMMNG. The "Breaking Free" activities amount to "stop being beta", e.g., stop the approval-seeking behaviors and the caretaking behaviors, express your wants and feelings directly (which could come off as "angry asshole" from a guy who had been repressing his wants and feelings for years).

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy

Pet peeve time.

Beta appeals to the woman's LTR sexual strategy. Period.

It's not a catch-all for unattractive behavior.

Women are sexually attracted to beta behavior
but far less intensely and urgently than they are attracted to alpha.

The reduced urgency and intensity means that beta is easily overcast by any and every unattractive behavior.

Beta and alpha are rarely incompatible.

So more accurately: stop confusing omega with beta.

Do not kill beta.
Ruthlessly murder omega.

"stop being beta" is fundamentally stupid.
Unless your plan is to become incel.
Even then just volcel... it's less hassle.

So... compare "approval-seeking" with "coalition building"/"consensus seeking"/"negotiation". The later are... leadership qualities (i.e. not even beta, they're alpha). So close. So really what gives?

Well, "approval-seeking" just isn't sexually operable.
Let me tell you a secret: "approval-seeking" is omega-speak for "being needy".
What do both women and men say about "needy" suitors?

Existentially, the problem is neediness deletes your self. You're behaving as a blank slate or vessel to be filled. You're erasing your own unique existence. It's spiritual suicide. Of course this isn't sexually attractive. The void has no sexual power. You certainly don't play house with the void. I suppose the "approval-seeker" might find some way to maybe be one step above a cat if he can take out the trash and if he's potty trained and maybe kills the odd insect or two. The only problem with playing the cat is that most women want to fuck. Most women don't fuck cats.

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Let's take the 5 Love Languages as an example: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Gifts, Physical Touch, Quality Time. These are classic beta behaviors in my opinion.

The Nice Guy does those things from the wrong frame. They are part of his covert contract - "I do these things, she has sex with me". They are also done out of the expectation of female approval, and the Acts of Service are his way of Caretaking. The bad news for him is that these beta behaviors do not increase her attraction to him and are probably actively unattractive because they seem creepy and needy.

The Alpha does the exact same beta behaviors from a different and more positive frame. In his case, the woman will find them appealing because they indicate his commitment to her.

So beta behavior is not necessarily attractive or unattractive in itself. It is the man who is doing the behavior, and his frame and motivations, that are the key.

When the NG reads NMMNG and sees "stop caretaking and approval-seeking", then very likely the first thing he does is dial down the 5LL behaviors. The good news is he has, to some degree, "stopped being unattractive" because he was doing the 5LL from an (unattractive) approval-seeking, caretaking frame. The bad news is he has not yet "started being attractive". This leaves him "neither alpha nor beta" which is untenable over the long term. Yet if he keeps the beta behaviors while dialing up the alpha, isn't that what people here always call "sprinkling alpha on it"?

How do you maintain a good balance of alpha and beta while in the early stages of redpilling?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don't really understand what you mean when you say that alpha traits and beta traits are identical. I don't think I've heard that before. Isn't commitment a beta trait related to long-term mating? I don't think commitment is relevant to short-term mating / casual sex / ONS etc. And I don't think Nice Guys™ are faking alpha traits... I think it's more accurate to say they weaponize beta traits to manipulate their partners.

[–]WesternhagenWinner1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't really understand what you mean when you say that alpha traits and beta traits are identical.

The 5LL behaviors are beta. But the same set of 5LL beta behaviors get a better response when an alpha does them than when a beta does them.

Alpha who does 5LL = already providing excitement, but now also providing comfort = attractive

Beta who does 5LL = not providing excitement, trying even harder to provide comfort = creepy and unattractive

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You may be right.

The general rule - and mind that, I wrote 3 or 4 longer responses to your post but deleted them - "when the relationship is doomed, it is doomed". Or, in another words, "when you're fucked, you're fucked". No amount of MRP is going to fix that.

My ex wife wanted a drinking man. Denied my alcohol problem, this way avoiding to start her own therapy. How the fuck do you fix that. After 4 or 5 years of reading books AND 1.5 years of MRP I gave up. Found herself a drinking and smoking dude, told my kids few times she loves him.

How do you fix that. The correct answer is "when you're fucked, you're fucked".

Some situations are unsalvageable and there is nothing wrong with that.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Wives won't leave an Alpha for the unknown. Especially when he is her best option. She will fight to domesticate him rather than pack bags.

Wives will leave betas in droves. Even if he is her best option, she will feel she deserves more

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Careful.

People might think wife staying = alpha.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

People should focus more on themselves. Get that part right

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Ha

[–]sars4450 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

One of the better posts/threads I've read on here.. thanks BPP



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