Overview: 38, Married 12 years, 3 kids, (wife 35). Always lifted, but let my diet go. Now I'm back to lifting big heavy weight, eating better and working on swallowing the Pill. I've been learning, reading and trying for about the past 5 months, although the first couple were pure anger and resentment phase. I have read NMMNG, MMSLP, way of superior man. Still need to read WISNIFG. Working on rational male. for the first 10-11 years of my marriage I was a complete beta back bitch, full of victim pukes, DEER and all the common Nice Guy tendencies. I have been lurking here for a while, reading and trying to internalize all the info. I'm finally feeling the DGAF, but I feel as though I need to have my judgment calibrated a bit by other old timers here. As in it is still hard for me to separate some shit tests from valid thoughts.

For example: I am currently on a business trip. I let her text me first each day and keep it pretty minimal and fun.

ME: (Finally responding after a few hours of working and not answering her text) Whats up buttercup? Her: Just working ME: Get on that pole honey Her: You are the pole jockey not me. Me: Nah, I just got the pole you are gonna be on. but keep making that stripper money. If you shake those tits for me just right ill let you give me a lap dance too. Her: I'm really unsure as to what kind of woman would want that message from her husband. Ive glazed over this stuff, but it drives me crazy how you continue to do it despite getting negative responses from me. Me: Of honey, you are so cute when you get upset.

Plan on being silent for a day or so, just to let it stew. So I don't know if since I was such a pussy for so long, and am still getting my shit together that she just isn't attracted or is she just that much of a damn prude and cant take a sexual joke. To be fair I was the typical sensitive to any criticism beta and didn't know jack about AA, AM, OI and the like. So I tend to think that she is still in the process that I let our marriage get into.