Shit test: Are you disappointed we didn't have sex?

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July 31, 2016
7 upvotes

I feel like this is a catch 22 shit test or comfort test. She knows I'm disappointed when she declines but wants some bullshit validation. If I say yes she gets butt hurt. If I say no, I'm lying and get angry at myself.


Post Information
Title Shit test: Are you disappointed we didn't have sex?
Author trpaxiom
Upvotes 7
Comments 35
Date 31 July 2016 12:51 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207284
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/4vgy6w/shit_test_are_you_disappointed_we_didnt_have_sex/
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Red Pill terms found in post:
shit testcomfort test
Comments

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill[M] [score hidden] stickied comment (3 children) | Copy

Listen up cunts, faggots and all manner of fucktards. This thread has been cross posted to the /r/thebluepill/. So if you would like to peruse shitty logic, and poor satire, be my guest. The legbeards aren't even putting in a good effort at outrage. Maybe we're not being good enough shitlords?

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (10 children) | Copy

I'm not disappointed, I'm just realizing we may not have the same expectations in this relationship...

Let the hamster do the rest, then improve to where she can't keep her hands off you.

[–]trpaxiom[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

That's great, but often times this steamrolls into an argument. E.g. What's that supposed to mean? What do you expect of me?

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you not know how to disengage?

[–]innominating3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

"It means what it means."

Then leave the room.

But, you'd be better off working on yourself until you can honestly not be disappointed. Just have better things to do then to hang out with her after she denies sex.

Lift. Read the sidebar. STFU until then.

[–]redearththeory2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If she tries to argue just tell her you're not going to spend time with her when shes being immature like this, we can try again later, and then leave.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

FamilyAlpha is spot on. Understand she's not asking for information. She's asking for feeling. "Are you upset...."

Frankly you need to get to the point where you are not. This is a case where fake it till you make it come to play. Push that shit way down deep and swallow it. Then get up and leave. Go work out, hobby, etc. if it devolves into a fight, use WISNIFG.

It needs to be clear to her that you are a sexual being, she is that outlet, but if she's not it doesn't bother you. Eventually you will make it clear to her you have options.

[–]Chump_No_More1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don't argue, you state expectations.

"As a high value married male, I expect my wife to meet my physical needs."

Nothing else need be said.

Please note that it's very helpful if you are, in fact, a high value male. Otherwise it can be potentially embarrassing when she calls you on your bullshit by laughing at you.

With regards to her need to allay her guilt, standard disclaimer applies... She alone is responsible for her feelings. Never provide cover for her hamster, she needs to own it.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What do you expect of me?

The Level 10 demand I outline in my book is: "I expect a wife who is attracted to me. Hopefully that will be you someday but I will not wait forever." Then STFU and do NOT get drawn into a discussion, much less an argument about it.

What the fuck right does SHE have to get mad. SHE is the one breaking her marriage vows. You are the one trying to save it. You probably can, but the best way to insure that is to go Ultimate Cad on her and get a girlfriend.

I am starting to believe that is the right answer in most cases. If women want to play the "I am in control of the sex and I get to decide when, where, how, and how much you have..." then the solution is either to physically force her (NOT a good idea) or to ignore her and find somebody else who is kinder and more compliant. Amazingly, the SECOND it even LOOKS like you may be able to do this and that you are actually pulling up your emotional roots from this relationships suddenly the tingle floodgates open.

A fellow don't have time for games like this. We always say "get out of her frame." I say: Fuck her frame and smash it into a trillion pieces.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm not disappointed, I'm just realizing we may not have the same expectations in this relationship

There's no room for hamstering. There's no subtlety. It's an obvious pressure tactic. That's why /u/trpaxiom's attempts to say the same thing resulted in a fight. It's almost exactly what the deadbedrooms crowd recommend, which is why they fail. You're in a very different position than OP.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actus Non Verba!

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

My response, that seems to be getting me laid more often lately, is to turn the tables…….

" Ok, good, I would rather not if you aren't into it, but later is OK." THEN STFU, the first one that speaks next loses. No matter what she finally says, I respond with what I am planning on doing and get out of bed and get started……with a big happy go lucky smile. Usually her next statement is…… "are you mad at me?" Then I ass grab, quick kiss and say "no way" and leave the room.

Two out of three times, she comes to me later in the day…..ready to go. Not a bad batting average, lately.

Edit: she claims she hates it when I grab her ass…..yet she doesn't move away either. hmmmm

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"You've got sex on your mind, apparently..."
 
"Awww, did you miss your husband?"
 
"Meh, maybe next time."
 
"Yep, pulled a Van Gogh and cut off my ear."
 
Your answer can be almost anything other than negotiating desire or allowing her to use sex as a weapon.

[–]wakethfkupneo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

'Heartbroken'

Or something along the lines, but the main message you're sending her must be: "I don't take your question seriously". If you say yes or no, you'll fail. That's why this type of test is so sophisticated. Shark, owner of now defunct 'Solve my girl problems' blog, called this specific test "probing for beta blood". Sometimes it happens even after sex ("are you disappointed I left so early").

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

Then why not just STFU? You don't have to answer her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy

You don't have to answer her

Second this.

[–]stonewall19791 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

The hard part is not looking butt-hurt by not saying anything.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Slight of hand experts use distraction because it works.

Use the distraction of changing the subject, and/or use movement by something so simple as,

"I have to go to the bathroom now!" and get out of the room

"I want some coffee now!" and leave

"I am starving!" and leave

"I am late." and leave

"I need to get going."

This is not rocket science. lol

[–]bogeyd6Mod / Red Militia0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Remember that a stfu response wins zero points and you lose zero points. If you go for a&a you win a point. Op is a bit new and obviously has zero frame control. I wouldn't recommend to agree and amplify if it's just going to blow up in his face.

Basic first steps. Lift, read, stfu. This will get you through the first two months guaranteed. Sometimes the noobs need a gentle reminder.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

She already thinks you're a but hurt faggot, own it.

[–]stonewall19790 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You know, a year ago I would have gotten mad. But now getting called a faggot here just makes me smile. Thanks for the reminder to step it up.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Kek

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. I think he needs to say something. If he's angry at himself for answering her question honestly he does not have proper OI and he needs to say something. I recommended that he get serious about doing things around the house so he can disengage from her and engage in doing something else. Then, when she asks, he will have worked through his anger and butthurt and can answer her in a dispassionate way.

[–]redearththeory0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Response - "Disappointed? Nah, its (or you're) just boring. Anyway, I have a lot of things to do, I'll be back later tonight. leaves ".

[–]Sapphire_Jizz4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your head is in the right place but saying this would actually be awful.

It's DEER-ish, tit-for-tat-ish (you're stupid so I'm gonna go play on the other playground!!!11), way too overt... you don't tell someone you're busy, you simply are busy. Actions communicate 1000% better than words

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Are you lifting yet ?

[–]WhiteTrashKillerRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Why would I be upset that you didn't get to have sex with me?"

Or

"It's not a bad thing, if you aren't into it then it isn't going to be good for either of us."

You are the prize......

Kiss her on the forehead and go be awesome.........

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is a woman driving the knife in by refusing sex and then twisting it when she doesn't get the reaction she wants. Fuck her.

/r/ThefamilyAlpha nailed it if you want to use words. Another option is to roll your eyes disapprovingly and then leave the house for 2-3 hours.

Go to the mall and collect 5 phone numbers from hot girls younger and prettier than your wife.

"Where did you go?"

Out.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

My girl gives me the same shit test. I like to give off the vibe that I'm banging chicks 24/7 and missing out once won't bother me. I'm not cheating on her and she should know that, but having the attitude that you're literally drowning in pussy is always good.

"Are you disappointed?"

"No. Why would I be?"

"Because we aren't having enough sex"

"No, I'm good" or just laugh a little and walk away

Then just fog and act aloof while you tease her about something. Amused mastery and a nice pat on the head works great. If you cam pull it off in a joking way, tell her you're relieved and that your dick needs a break anyway.

Or if that's too much just give her this. ..

"No, it's your loss anyway. I'm great in bed."

with a cocky smile. She obviously knows you're probably not great in bed but just act like you're the shit and don't trip up when she rolls her eyes at you.

Act confident and cocky but don't over do it. After all, she's not fucking you because you're not hot enough or gaming her enough. So get as confident as you can without going overboard. She knows in her logical brain that you're not drowning in pussy, but your attitude will trigger her emotional brain which will drown out the logical brain and get her hamster spinning in your direction.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

There will come a time when you are not disappointed. There are one of two ways this happens :

First is you plug back in and just decide you don't matter to yourself anymore.

The second is when you don't give a fuck because you just filed - and/ or are getting laid on the side.

She knows this. It's not bs. You gotta come to a place where you are ok with it... Hopefully the second option- that is- if your efforts to be a better man don't have the desired effect.

[–]KyfhoMyoba-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

"I don't have time for stupid questions, honey, I've got to go to the gym."

[–]Big_Daddy_PDX-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

"There are plenty of guys are interested in girls with nice personalities that don't like sex. They'd be happy put up with you"

[–]PersaeusRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Uh no, are you?" whatever the answer, "excellent" go to sleep or go be awesome

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

So what are you doing when she asks you that question? Are you sulking, sitting on the couch? Are you moping in front of the tv? Or are you busy doing something else?

If you have not learned how to be OI, which I don't think you have since you become angry at yourself when you tell her the truth, then work the disappointment/anger out by doing something else. Then, when she asks, you will have become occupied by something else and can answer her question from a distanced perspective.

If she asks while you're making progress on something around the house, washing your car, writing a novel, or whatever it is that you are doing because you already wanted to do it, then you can easily deflect the question without sounding butthurt because you are actively involved in something else.

Let her see that you are not sitting around waiting to have sex, that your world includes her if she behaves, but does not revolve around her.



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