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Frustration and Impatience.

Reddit View
February 2, 2016
6 upvotes

So I'm going through a new phase. A hint of anger phase has come back, mixed in with my newfound state of aggression and confidence from lifting.

I have to give her credit. Sex frequency is up. She is more into it. The shit tests are more natural. She is measurably more feminine and generally submissive. Hell, she's even going to the gym in her own now. So why am I bitching?

I want more! I want it all now!

I'm leaning to temper my elevated testosterone, but I'm resentful for doing so. This week, she's on the rag, and her resistance has been more than I can tolerate. So I double down on passive dread. I don't care if she's menstrating and needs beta. I'm fucking huge and awesome and everyone around me is noticing. Including her. So fuck it. Roar! Anger. I want to Fuck.

Sunday night I make a move. Tell her to put that pink outfit on for me. She hints that she is out of commission. I tell her that I'm not. I am not bothered by the red tide. And she changes the subject and goes to bed. I hide the butt hurt, but I'm fuming. I've been going hard at the gym, on top of everything. Being social. Hell, i threw in squash Thursday night. Go Go Go. It's now been a fucking week, and I need some ass. I wanna break something.

So I trip up instead. I drink too much gin. Jerk off to some porn. Hits me pretty hard to since I've been away from it for weeks now. And i finally go to bed, spent and butt hurt at about 3am.

Crawl into bed, still steaming despite exhaustion. What do I find? She in bed wearing that God damned pink thing after all!!

I want to howl at the moon. For Fuck Sakes!

Next morning she is butt hurt cause i didn't fuck her after pushing her to wear the outfit. I'm distant and don't want anything to do with her right now.

What the fuck is wrong with me? This has triggered the anger phase. I thought I was passed this. I'm thinking of going MGTOW for February, I'm feeling so disenfranchised. But it's not like she ain't trying.

WTF?!


Post Information
Title Frustration and Impatience.
Author fakefalse
Upvotes 6
Comments 21
Date 02 February 2016 02:25 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/207692
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/43uesi/frustration_and_impatience/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
betatestosteronedread gameshit testliftMGTOW
Comments

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

Life can be looked at as a comedy of errors. This time you supplied the punchline.

Laugh at what happened.

Next time request alternate release...or if you're up for it, just start right next to her.

I'd highly recommend mixing in some meditation to your routine if you haven't already. Or yoga for flexibility (but also helps to calm you so you're not prone to ... go off half(self)-cockkkkked).

[–]fakefalse[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I discovered the term 'overtraining' on Thursday. I've been going so hard at full tilt, that I started to crash this last week. Elevated heartrate, anxiety, restlessness, physical and emotional exhaustion. I didn't understand. I just pushed through the pain, if you will. I read about it on r/ketogains and learned something new.

Now I'm not using that as an excuse for losing my shit. u/stonepimpleitis is right. I need to reevaluate my MAP. But your point is on course. I should be adding meditation to my toolbox. Help me focus and stay awake. Blue mindsets are a slow creep.

Thanks.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Weird shit like that happens more easily on low carb. Your muscles and brain work best with carbs on board. Keto is usually better suited to cutting.
 
I'm with the Count here that some stretching and/or meditation would be a good way to cool off. You used the porn and alcohol to escape. Don't escape, just notice the emotions and let them wash over you, especially when those emotions are a response to her. Your frame is getting better overall, but this was definitely a moment of weakness. You are still seeking validation and the covert contracts are still there. You recognize it - now fix it.

[–]Redneck001Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

New stuff involves risk. If you're not fucking up on occasion, you're not trying.

I make mistakes all the time. I laugh at myself, learn from it, and keep moving forward.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

So I double down on passive dread.

so you dressed... extra nice today right? fuck, you made me laugh this morning. That'll show her

Normally, I'd point out all the stupid shit you're hamstering, but lately, I'm trying something different.

What do you really want?

Answer this to yourself, then gauge how this whole Field report went, based on getting closer to, or further away from that. I'd suggest posting your findings here, because a lot of guys can bullshit themselves for a good year, then come here and find out they haven't really done shit. Iron sharpens iron; Or

I can just do the usual and lay into you for the obvious, you get mad and protect your ego, then delete your account.

Disclaimer: assuming your username isn't relevant, if troll, then good luck with the drama

EDIT: And I really want you to break down what you mean by doubling down on passive dread. I mean, specifically, because it sounds like you are travelling north of the north pole, insofar as it makes any sense

[–]fakefalse[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I was hoping for quick feedback, then braced myself when I saw who had replied.

Yup. What you are saying is on point. This is a good exercise for me. I need to revisit ands keep refining my MAP. I've changed over the past year and I should be making sure my path is still relevant.

I think what I get most out of your reply, is that I still have a sensitive ego. I still can't quite see the Forrest from the trees. That is to say, I'm expecting her validation. Sure, I'm learning to lift and grow for me, but one bump in the road and I start whining and being a bitch cause she won't wuv me the way she's 'supposed to'. I'm still much to dependant on her.

Doubling down on dread is am example of that last fallacy. I've been active and doing my own thing. But for what reason? Why?

For me?
For her?

I've got some thinking to do.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've got some thinking to do.

Awesome. I lurked for a long while before I created an account to post. I learned a lot from these guys, especially the idea that what I do, I do for me. Not for her.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I was hoping for quick feedback, then braced myself when I saw who had replied.

Stone, now that's got to make your day.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Validation? Not so much.

I'm not here to be Internet famous, I'm here to sharpen iron.

Besides, when I taught at Fleet School, the students used to say the same...

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

From a new guy, I think you're operating out of a "covert contract" (NMMNG). You're jacked and awesome, others are noticing, she does too, so the sex should come flowing your way. But it didn't, so you got pissed, wasted a bunch of time and energy on low-value activities instead of high-value activities, then found out you could have had your way. You let her frame determine your reaction.

AWALT, and watch what she does, not what she says.

[–]SexistFlyingPig4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You're doing the 'fake it til you make it' routine, but the only person who sees that you haven't made it is you! She's recognizing the gains. Her "I'm out of commission" was just a shit test, and you batted it down with your strong "I'm not." So she responded! She put on that sexy pink outfit.

You didn't realize it. But you won. Then, like the Cleveland Browns, you snatched defeat from the jaws of victory, rubbed one out and drank too much gin.

Don't worry about it. Let your own view of yourself catch up to what everyone else sees.

[–]turbosympathique2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm gonna give you a different perspective I have Been on this program for almost 2 years now and this is what I have learn.

MRP is all about finding an equilibrium that work for YOU! For your present situation this is my prescription.

You take yourself WAY too seriously. Relax, light one up. Go play some pool with some friend, Watch a movie with the wife, relax. for a few day. And try to have some fun.

This will do wonder for your present mindset.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

so , obvious things...

Covert contracts because you lifted and she was down for it a few days ago? come on you know better.

And as for finding you wife in a pink thing at 3 am? get up, get some coffee and at least show her you appreciate her effort. Like we say on here for women... ok so you fucked your dick up... are other parts of you broke? and I bet if you started to do something Mr. Fakefalse Jr may have responded. Just sayin.

You screwed up. learn from it.

[–]rpnow1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Similar thing happened to me, got a cold Friday, just a head cold, no big deal, but lost my frame completely. Started eating shit, missing shit and comfort tests, one thing lead to another and I had a bluepill relapse. Funny, while feeling sorry for myself and being a bitch I watched Trainspotting. The bluepill can be like heroin, damaging yourself, your life, and people around you, and you still keep going back to it.

You can even see things get worse around you, but you blame the world becuase it couldn't be the blue pill, it's convinced you that it is providing pleasure.

Maybe you get off tbp, maybe even have a long stretch of success! And things happen, and if you aren't truly OI, and your frame isn't tip top, then you go right back to it like a junkie.

All I can do is get past it, and move on. Had to use amused mastery on myself yesterday, "oh poor guy got the sniffles and his life is over, huh?" I learned how shallow my OI is, and how ready to buckle my frame is, and now I can own it and grow.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

it's always interesting reading posts like this. we have men going out of their way to make their wives gatekeepers of pussy and then get frustrated when their wives won't fuck them. i mean, helllloooooooooooo, you alone made the decision the decision she was the only pussy you have. you alone gave her all the power. you alone could take it all away, but nooooooo, you're a helpless fucking faggot assed victim.

the ironic failure of all of this is that the more power you give her pussy, the less likely she'll fuck you. you give her a reason to fuck you, and maybe she'll do so, lets say..... demonstrating you're less committed to her if she's not going to fuck you and that while she's first choice, she's definitely not last choice.

shit for all you guys with this issue, how many of you have communicated your expectations? "hey. i respect you. you have total control over the choices you make. but so do i. and here's what i know. i'm going to fuck. now, you're my first choice obviously. but that doesn't mean you're always going to be my only choice." naturally, she might get pissy - but again, at this point, not your fucking problemtm . Don't go out of your way to DEER. You could AA "YOU'RE NOT GOING TO SEX SHAME ME! I'M A STRONG POWERFUL SEX POSITIVE WOMAN!". You could focus on point "I'm going to fuck." You could deflect "If you're not satisfying my needs, why do I care about satisfying your needs again?"

edit: HAHAHAHAHAHA. I just finished reading the rest of your post after looking at some of these comments. Holy shit disregard everything I've said. You played yourself sucka. She congruence tested you and you fucking failed. You fucking failed so badly! Hahahahhaa.

I hope you're fucking pissed at yourself and your fakeness. You laid out a compliance test, didn't realize she complied, and instead jumped to the conclusion you wanted to jump to anyway, got butthurt, drank and jerked off on your own b/c of your own stupid bullshit insecurity based wrong conclusion, got back and bed and hey.. look at that. of course she's annoyed at you. you demonstrated straight up that you werne't who you said you were. you laid out a compliance test, she complied, and you did what......... jack off b/c of your lack of social prowess and self created albeit delusional inferiority complex? all you did is send the message that her complying to your wants is a waste of her time in the future. shit, in your situation, i'd go out buy some her some nice $5 flowers and put on a card that reads "Sorry I didn't fuck you."

And your solution is to join those neckbeard faggots who do MGTOW? You know the thing about those guys? Those guys couldn't attract women if their lives depended on it. It's the perfect hamsterbait for the pathetic male. I mean, your choice, but hahahaahaha. Get mad at yourself for being a stupid incongruent fuck.

I'm distant and don't want anything to do with her right now.

own your shit pussy.

[–]MRPguy-1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

You are a mess. Your frame is weak. Read some stoic works and apply some simple principles. Recognize that no matter what she (or anybody else) does, you can have a phenomenal day each and every day.

So I trip up instead. I drink too much gin. Jerk off to some porn. Hits me pretty hard to since I've been away from it for weeks now. And i finally go to bed, spent and butt hurt at about 3am.

This post is really about you screwing up and wanting to hear that it's okay. It's not okay, but you can keep moving forward.

[–]fakefalse[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

This!

My entry reads like a confessional. Cringe worthy.

I just got back from lifting during lunch hour. I feel much better. I'm already planning a run this evening, and some buddies just invited me out to their superbowl Party.

Idle hands are tools of the devil. I'll learn from my mistake.

[–]SexistFlyingPig1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Your post wasn't cringeworthy.

If this stuff was easy, then everyone would do it all the time. But it's not. You're changing all sorts of programming. It looks like you're rocking the physical SMV changes and the only thing that's lagging behind is your confidence. The fact that your girl wore what you told her to wear, and got ready for you says that what you're doing is working, you just didn't realize how well it was working.

You were wanting to smash something, and that really turned her on. She wanted to be the one you were smashing with. She threw up the shark week excuse probably because she was afraid that you'd be turned off and she didn't want to suffer that rejection. When you told her to put on something sexy, that REALLY turned her on.

Quit overstating your mistake here. Just realize that literally all you had to do was go to your bedroom and fuck her. You laid out the tablecloth, put down the plates and silverware, poured the wine and served the food. The only thing you didn't do was eat.

[–]fakefalse[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks.

I grew up Catholic, so I'm programed to denigrate myself. Lol.

In going in the right direction. I'll start working on my confidence muscle.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Read this post on mental models by /u/stonepimpletilists. Very good.

I come from a religious background, too. Lots of focus on guilt and shame. Those influences and models run deep and cloud the waters. That post will help you think about what it is that you really want.

[–]MRPguy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your post was fine, what we are all waiting for is to see what happens on the rebound. A Man makes mistakes, the differentiation comes in how he responds to them. A weak man does nothing, a strong Man works to remedy them.



You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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