So I'm going through a new phase. A hint of anger phase has come back, mixed in with my newfound state of aggression and confidence from lifting.
I have to give her credit. Sex frequency is up. She is more into it. The shit tests are more natural. She is measurably more feminine and generally submissive. Hell, she's even going to the gym in her own now. So why am I bitching?
I want more! I want it all now!
I'm leaning to temper my elevated testosterone, but I'm resentful for doing so. This week, she's on the rag, and her resistance has been more than I can tolerate. So I double down on passive dread. I don't care if she's menstrating and needs beta. I'm fucking huge and awesome and everyone around me is noticing. Including her. So fuck it. Roar! Anger. I want to Fuck.
Sunday night I make a move. Tell her to put that pink outfit on for me. She hints that she is out of commission. I tell her that I'm not. I am not bothered by the red tide. And she changes the subject and goes to bed. I hide the butt hurt, but I'm fuming. I've been going hard at the gym, on top of everything. Being social. Hell, i threw in squash Thursday night. Go Go Go. It's now been a fucking week, and I need some ass. I wanna break something.
So I trip up instead. I drink too much gin. Jerk off to some porn. Hits me pretty hard to since I've been away from it for weeks now. And i finally go to bed, spent and butt hurt at about 3am.
Crawl into bed, still steaming despite exhaustion. What do I find? She in bed wearing that God damned pink thing after all!!
I want to howl at the moon. For Fuck Sakes!
Next morning she is butt hurt cause i didn't fuck her after pushing her to wear the outfit. I'm distant and don't want anything to do with her right now.
What the fuck is wrong with me? This has triggered the anger phase. I thought I was passed this. I'm thinking of going MGTOW for February, I'm feeling so disenfranchised. But it's not like she ain't trying.