"Is everything OK?"

whinemoreplease · 2015-09-28T10:36:39+00:00

stop fucking talking and stfu

angels_fan · 2015-09-28T12:23:40+00:00

" I'm fine. Why? Did you do something I should be upset about?? "

But maybe you could work on your demeanor? Why does she think something is wrong? Do you have a smile and whistling a happy tune, or are you sullen and serious?

suhurley · 2015-09-28T14:39:30+00:00

"Now that you mention it, I do feel a bit sexually frustrated."

SexistFlyingPig · 2015-09-28T15:03:16+00:00

Straight answer: "I'm OK. Why do you ask?" -- You're letting her talk, and it might just be that she noticed something specific and wants to talk about it, so this is her entry point. You're just letting her vent, which may make her feel more connected to you.

A&A "You know, I'm really depressed right now, what with my (local sports team) losing, I'm not sure where to find meaning in my life. Maybe I should just end it all. Do you feel that way too?"

UEMcGill · 2015-09-28T13:25:45+00:00

"I'm gonna be real honest"

"I'm not a racist"

"No really, I swear"

These are all things meant to reinforce one statement, but often belie the truth. It's the beginnings of a comfort test. So treat it as such. They key is it takes confidence and not words. She's looking for your emotional response not your words.

"I'm fine babe" [dead silence]

"What did you do wrong?" [smirk]

[forehead kiss]

These all convey calm cool emotional strength to her.

itstartstoday123 · 2015-09-28T17:11:52+00:00

My wife only(ONLY) asks if she thinks I am mad at her. She only cares if I am mad at her.

thisisme0007 · 2015-09-28T10:29:18+00:00

Provide more context. Were you acting butthurt?

irateMD · 2015-09-28T12:42:53+00:00

The "fake it" part of fake it until you make it is hard when you haven't achieved a reasonable level of outcome independence.
Your wife isn't stupid. She knows you're not happy about something. See each one of these interactions as an opportunity to learn about yourself and why you aren't actually OK. That will move you gradually toward being OK.

Edit: Regarding your specific question, my comments above allude to the notion that you might not be ready for amused mastery. Instead of answering the "are you OK" question, you could redirect, A&A, or maybe address whatever was actually bothering you instead of trying to spare her feelings.

Scurvemuch · 2015-09-28T21:02:16+00:00

Do I? ok

:: forehead kiss:::

When she continues with "talk to MEE, Tell MEE whats WROOONG"

smile/ smirk, " babe, wachatalkinbout" because there is nothing wrong. You are living your life for you

BluepillProfessor · 2015-09-29T02:45:31+00:00

Sure we say TREAT her like a 12 year old but the truth is some of us are actually married to competent women who can pick up on things. Some of them are very, very good at reading emotional cues.

You may want to try the truth in this situation. Not the full truth and lots of padding, but giving her a little bone will get her off your ass.

"No babe, I'm just tired and in a shitty mood. Don't worry, you know you are one of the top 4 or 5 best things in my life right now."

RedDeadWolverine · 2015-09-28T12:02:58+00:00

Seriously just STFU look at her like you would a child that said some stupid shit, and walk off.

Title	"Is everything OK?"
Author	BetaFeelz
Upvotes	6
Comments	21
Date	September 28, 2015 9:52 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/3mok5n/is_everything_ok/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/is-everything-ok.208077 https://theredarchive.com/post/208077

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