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Started cold approaching today. Questions/Notes inside

Reddit View
January 31, 2019

im pretty new to this game and game overall, insecure when it comes to women and getting laid. meaning, your results will almost definitely be better than mine. with that in mind, let's proceed.

first time ive done this, so, you can imagine the resistance and anxiety, nevertheless, it completely changed my perception on women. the act of approaching seemed like a disaster yesterday, today im an open minded man, confidence goes through the roof, maybe its temporary, maybe not.

u guys told me appearance matters. being an overweight (and slightly muscular) dude i am, i did my best to look decent. shaved head clean, trimmed/oiled beard, grabbed the fanciest coat/boots i have and went to my college yard where chicks hand around between lectures.

my goal was 20, first time, but fuck it, if i could do it, it would be a piece of cake after that. started approaching girls on benches who were reading shit but clearly werent interested in the material.

first five were like "eew, go away, im busy", i was like "ok dont be a bitch im leaving". i noticed a look of disappointment in one girls' eyes when i left without putting up the resistance. this bitch didnt want me to leave. shit testing me right off the bat? challenge accepted.

next ones were easy, made small talk like "what are u studying", "seeing u for the first time around here" etc. as long as she's laughing, u got a chance. i noticed that most of these girls are extremely insecure, so making jokes to get them comfortable around me worked best.

ofc the end game is to get their number, since im no expert in closing i tried different approaches. cutting off the conversation when shes having most fun and saing "gotta go, but i wanna continue our chat, hit me up with ur number" worked best.

hb6/hb7's were nice, hb5/hb8/hb9's were total bitches. hb5s out of insecurity (i guess) and hb9s out of, well, fuck em, gotta nail these bitches in the future.

overall, some girls were nice, but didnt give me their number, some left during the chat, others just kept laughing hysterically, kinda creepy. got 2 numbers (hb6 both) and one fb (hb7 with 3k followers, holy shit).

my 2 cents:

  • most of them are insecure, her being a bitch has most likely nothing to do with u
  • mood matters, if u wake up and ur in the zone, go for it, ur bitches will multiply (i did this today coz i felt awesome and manly in the morning, thanks noFap)
  • they are incredibly stupid, some cant even get semi-sarcastic jokes, keep it casual at first or u risk getting them bitter
  • lead all the way, get them talking, but ur the one who has to close, they wont make the last move, ever (unless u are hot as a stove)
  • keep talking like ur doing them a favor by approaching, felt easier after first few tries. they are receptive to that, they pick up on that and try harder
  • outcome independence (glad i read about that in archive last night), make urself believe that no matter how cute she is, you can walk away any second and chat up a better one. hard as fuck, but brings in most results
  • they will shit test you all the time, with casual questions, by getting bitchy. i simply ignored whenever i didnt know how to pass em, kinda worked i guess
  • they are not all high smv (even if they look pretty cute), they will give you a few last chances and let you fuck up if you are confident enough and put yourself as a decent dude
  • not giving a shit is the key, the hottest one i closed was the last one, because i was tired, a bit frustrated and didnt give much of a shit
  • u will feel pretty stupid after u start approaching. i was scared to death, of what? stupid creatures that cant even keep up with me in conversation? disappointing that i didnt try earlier.
  • the confidence/energy it gives u is outstanding. i learnt so much after just 20 approaches (half of them ended in "go away" btw). feeling like if i stop doing it i will fall back to my older self. persistence is the key here i guess.
  • so much fun, totally made me forget about my cheating ex gf

now for my questions:

some girls get bitchy, pull shit like "i have a boyfriend", "not willing to talk" or just walk away right after i approach and say hello. and i dont look like an ogre, believe me.

hot ones, hb9s are most bitchy, out of 4, none gave a chance to even talk. i was dressed pretty well and wasn't insecure in my approaches. are they immune to cold approaches? lol cant get my head around it

how to break through their defenses when she doesnt want me to leave, but keeps being a bitch, even after i stay calm and ignore the shit they're giving me. at what point do bitches stop this shit test and settle down for "ok, hes the real deal"?

whats a better playground for approaching women? im not into clubs, feels pretty weird when im there. are libraries ok? chatting up girls and closing on the streets must be very tough (when they're in their own world and dont care about u)

thats all, im sure i will do a better job tomorrow.

Post Information
Title Started cold approaching today. Questions/Notes inside
Author lolurfucked
Upvotes 162
Comments 73
Date 31 January 2019 12:44 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
cheatingnofapsexual market valueshit testgameclose

[–][deleted] 110 points111 points  (6 children) | Copy

Ok. My 2 cents:

I remember when I started cold approaching. It blew my mind, it felt great, changed my world yada yada yada. I can see you acting off the euphoria and the feels rn. You did good. However, you are overanalyzing it based off one experience, and going out there and already entered a girls frame (omg 3k followers!). It feels good right? So keep going back. This is a numbers game, of continuity and going out again and again and again and again and again and again, until it feels like second nature to you, until a girl's initial yes makes you smile cause the hunt is on, when it doesn't matter what you say or how you say it AND when you have a shit day, days and week and then go out and get laid. Rn you're operating off the feels of a novel experience.

So my only advice to you is, go out again. Do this for a week. 2 weeks. A month. 2 months, 3. That's when you'll start becoming a real player. This shit is hard work son, and number don't mean shit, congrats but sorry. Maintain an intense spreadsheet of all the girl's you've approached (even "girl with pink boots" works for now) and how far you went, what worked and what didn't. Forget about feels, in the game. Focus on data.

You're in the game now. That's all it took. Now play it.

[–]DadOnDabs23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

This guy gets it. More approaches will answer your questions for you. Experience is your best learning tool.

[–]jefferson_3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

This dude said make a spreadsheet... Solid advice otherwise though.

[–]KaiSmashSmashSawmash 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

A spreadsheet... what works on one girl might not work on another.

[–]menial_optimist2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've heard the key is calibration. Your approach must be flexible for this exact reason. Basically you learn what generally not to do and what to do, then calibrate in context, adjusting strategy based on how the girl at the particular time is playing the game.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K1830 points31 points  (8 children) | Copy

Great post. Great to see someone getting the balls to start at the beginning and reporting back on it.

Obviously I don't know your area (or even your country, assuming you're American), but a few things I can say. Some women don't know how to have random conversation with a guy. Shit testing is like an automatic response, especially if they can tell you're hitting on them. I'm not sure if it's just inbuilt, or it's how they get validation. Perhaps they don't have any real self-confidence, so they best than can manage is shit testing, to get a guy qualifying themselves to them.

I try my best to avoid this, by teasing them early on and flipping the dynamic to me qualifying them. IF they start qualifying themselves, I tease a little more. I come from a place of PRIZE and status, and I can tell pretty early when they have submitted. Shit tests are them merely testing your fitness. They may get guys approaching the only motherfucker who truly comes from above them.

Often in cold approaches (and this sounds like yours), it's a subconscious battle for frame and submission. They may think they are on equal level to you, or better, which is why they're shit testing so much. You can try knocking this down with more teasing, qualifying and push. You're indirectly trying to get someone wanting to fuck you, so you better come from a place of higher status.

I'm not sure what you say or talk about in your approaches. The joking is great, it does relax people, and gets some emotional reaction. After time, and experience, you'll get better at balancing the jokes with what I mentioned in the previous paragraph.

You're IDGAF/outcome independence sounds on point. Cutting it short when they're highly emotionally invested is great. It can make them miss the last emotions they had with you.

I would say keep a lot of what you're doing. Just work on coming from a place of higher status, qualifying them, and teasing/push. Remember it's a subtle game of making them submit and follow. Most guys I speak to can't get this dynamic happening.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

I try my best to avoid this, by teasing them early on and flipping the dynamic to me qualifying them. IF they start qualifying themselves, I tease a little more

Out of curiosity, what would you do if a woman was completely unresponsive to your teasing and didn't shit test you either, but still kept talking to you?

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K182 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

I just proceed as normal. It happens, but the main thing is holding frame and moving forward. If there is no shit testing, makes it easy. Sometimes you adapt a little to the moment. If I'm really relaxed and DGAF I call them out - 'you seem like you don't say much'. Put's a bit of pressure on them

I have a natural 'warmth' (what many women have said) and charisma about me, so I normally get engaged with pretty well.

One thing I can say, is always have confidence in what you do. Don't get too put off if it seems a girl isn't engaged. I've had times where I thought she just wasn't into it, not responding, to find out she was really impressed.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I call them out - 'you seem like you don't say much'. Put's a bit of pressure on them

If a girl said that to you what would you say?

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K182 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

'The wisest men listen'

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

And the wisest women?

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K184 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Submit to me

[–]jamesbond81810 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–]lolurfucked[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

yeah, i haven't read/implemented any material that's on the sidebar (which covers approaching tactics).

im not american, cant u tell by my english? lol

im from georgian republic (not the state, country in mid asia/europe)

hb6 girls have self-esteem of hb9 in your country because there's a HUGE lack of high smv males.

even though they do get hit on a lot, these guys are mostly chumps and cold approaching is simply non existent.

it's a new concept to them so i have to twist my game a lot to not make them freak out

btw, thanks for the advice

[–]CainPrice23 points24 points  (1 child) | Copy

It gets easier the more you do it.

Remember, most people never venture outside of their social circles and fuck around with their phones whenever they're in public. You walking up and talking to a girl who's never met you may be the most interesting thing to happen to her today. Even if it's stupid and awkward and she thinks you're ugly, it still may be the most interesting thing she experienced today. You literally -are- doing her a favor by approaching.

Also remember, it is -not- weird or creepy or awkward to ask a girl for her number. You approach, you start talking, and you can tell in 30 seconds or less if she's not interested in you. If she's smiling and asking follow-up questions and telling you about herself, she's at least a little interested. After 5 minutes of chit-chat, it is 100% normal to say that you need to get going to class or wherever you're off to, but add, "You seem nice. We should get a drink. Give me your number" or something like that.

If you get to the point where you've talked to a girl that seems interested for 5 minutes and have to go and you don't ask for her number, that would be weird. Asking for her number is totally normal and not awkward.

[–]DocPBJ0070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

nice way to put it

[–]Herdsengineers9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

"I have a boyfriend" response - "since we're gonna talk about shit that doesn't matter now, what do you think of this weather?"

Adapt as needed, if there's a guy walking around mowing grass, or whatever else environmental you can reference that is common for you both in the moment.

[–]Bilskee12 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

When she says I have a boyfriend. "And I have a goldfish. Oh I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter."

[–]lerossignol771 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Limitless exp

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K186 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

'Already telling me your problems?'

[–]antiMensch19510 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

Great post. just read it before i entered the subway. there was this cute girl right in front of me. listened to her music. couldnt bring myself to approach her. do you have any tips for me for this scenario?

[–]lolurfucked[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

yea, dont expect anything on the first try, in fact expect to be rejected. when u know this its easier. if she says yes, fine, if no, well, u got rejected and the next one will feel a lot easier. on the off chance she says yes u will be runing around with your dick out pretending to be a pussy desteoyer

[–]AloofusMaximus6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Awesome job man, and congrats. Keep putting in the numbers

The only thing I would say is don't get caught up in some of the bullshit around here. Not every woman is going to find you attractive, not every woman is going to be open to being approached, or she might be unavailable/busy/whatever.

That's just people, and the idea that you are attractive and/or appealing to everyone is idiotic. I'm sure you can remember a time when someone tried talking to you, and you just didn't want to have anything to do with that person, well now YOU are that person (to some people).

That's why it's about putting in the numbers. Because you'll eventually find women that are receptive, and are attracted, and will want to talk to you more. Game helps you get there, but won't change a cat into a dog.

[–]lolurfucked[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

yea i know, if i close 2 out of 10, im gonna consider myself good at the game

[–]morescoobysnacks 1 points [recovered]  (8 children) | Copy

eew, go away, im busy

You're going out, not getting laid, but not getting rejected either. This is just her default response to get rid of trash. You gotta go harder. Lot of options here, but I usually say something like, "I bet you're really cool when you're not being a brat. [pause a bit] Are you?" Playful, cocky smile. If that fails, I'd just keep fucking with her, "You should take time to talk to cooler people than you, it would help with personal growth a lot more than the bullshit you're pretending to study." Then maybe ask what she's doing the upcoming weekend if she goes silent. Sometimes girls will submit, but be silent and you gotta lead it a little. Just basic comfort shit and grab her number and move on.

The boyfriend line is the same shit. I like to start listing off reasons I'm better, but just ignoring it and continuing the interaction is fine too.

[–]lolurfucked[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

yea dude, right on point. i just found out that one of the girls that gave me a number has a boyfriend (2 yo LTR).

we talked a lot about shit, she wants to join my gym, WHILE having a boyfriend.

seriously, what the actual fuck

AWALT all the way, but i feel crappy now for the guy

[–]morescoobysnacks 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy

Any dude in an LTR where the girl doesn't let him game on the side is getting played. Straight up. That retard has a brain and the internet and he's still getting played. Fuck feeling bad for losers.

[–]lolurfucked[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

really? should i srew her?

[–]plxxx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Funnily enough same thing happened here, just got a number last night and from what I can gather she has a boyfriend. I’m still gonna game as practice and if I can fuck her I will.

[–]c4toyourdoornobeef1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Surely by stating why you're better than her possibly fake boyfriend is qualifying yourself to her and allowing yourself into her frame?

[–]morescoobysnacks 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Her frame is "leave me alone". Our frame is "we're your best bet".

It's not qualifying in the traditional sense. It's displaying a ridiculous amount of dominance. 99.999% of women have never had a dude do this. We're essentially taking her from her partner verbally. It's primal on some level. It works.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K182 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I had issue with this back in the beginning, and thought I was qualifying g myself.

I realised that little shit tests and stuff are going to come up, and as long as what you say is concise, confident, and you don't follow it up with trying to win her approval, it's not qualifying, it's just stating truth.

My most common test is 'I don't have give out my number. Why should you be different?' (or a form of that)

Me - 'I'm the best man who's ever going to ask you for it'.

Her - 'confident, aren't you'?

Me - 'Experienced. But hey, you take me or leave me'.

All about delivery, and following it with outcome independence, so it doesn't become qualifying myself.

[–]irvingwashington1210 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Congrats, you done more in a day than most do in a year.

[–]dream-hunter7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Reading all this...make sure your purpose comes first, then women.

[–]lolurfucked[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

sure, im more focused on making money nowadays, dont care if i got no pussy atm

[–]imtheoneimmortal8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

You did nice my boy going to approach, you will learn many many things.

When she say I got boyfriend it’s up to you what to do A&A or ignore and leave With hb9 I don’t know what you mean that they are bitchy, in my city a hb9 smiled me and say hi

You did bad at “ok bitch I’m leaving” never be aggressive always be funny or idgaf

“I’m busy” ok have a good day my lady

[–]lolurfucked[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

i didnt actually say that lol. i was just expressing my thoughts

[–]JizzCleaver-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Pretty ballsy of you to approach them with an SMV like yours. +10 points to Gryffindor.

What I've found is, as long as I stay grounded and give myself and the girl permission to accept how random/awkward the approach and the interaction is, it often goes well.

[–]lolurfucked[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

let me try that tomorrow, nice one.

[–]3chazthundergut2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Go find that post about how to get laid like a warlock

[–]lolurfucked[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

warlord. lol. read it, not very true

[–]3chazthundergut2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Oh man it is SO fucking true.

For example, when a girl acts all bitchy at you, it isnt a rejection at all. It is an invitation for you to demonstrate your immovable masculine frame.

Read it again.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

they are incredibly stupid, some cant even get semi-sarcastic jokes, keep it casual at first or u risk getting them bitter

Be careful when telling jokes and using hyperbole with dumb people. Most of the time they don't understand them anyway, but if they like you they will laugh along. Just don't overdo it or you'll make them feel stupid but since you are a guy I guess that could work, depending on the woman. Negging and all.

u will feel pretty stupid after u start approaching. i was scared to death, of what? stupid creatures that cant even keep up with me in conversation?

And yet you've wasted time interacting with them... Just saying.

some girls get bitchy, pull shit like "i have a boyfriend", "not willing to talk" or just walk away right after i approach and say hello. and i dont look like an ogre, believe me.

Do you just approach them or do you do any kind of filtering so you can tell which women may be available to be approached? Approaching people just like that, regardless of gender, is like those religious people who bother you on the street. It can be annoying. Some kind of filtering could save you much time.

[–]plxxx1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m in the same boat as you. Been doing 20 approaches per week and just finished my 5th session yesterday. I’ve realised the battle is won or lost in your mind. If you are calm and relaxed so will she. If you have high energy, she will feed of this energy. Changing your goals changes everything. My goal in the past was to get numbers and slay girls. Changing it to actually just hitting 20 approaches each time I’m out has helped me with my outcome independence. My first time got no numbers but had a good time. But since then the caliber of women I approach has gone up and now yesterday I got 4 numbers out of 20 approaches. You can only improve from here

[–]rugged791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't think of the short term benefits. Think long game. Half the battle of getting laid is becoming comfortable with talking to beautiful women as if they were your sister or a fat chick. Hot women are used to insecure guys putting their worst foot forward. Bad, awkward conversations, bragging and general nervousness due to never approaching women except to ask them out is what they grew up with since they were probably 12 years old.

Approaching women to talk has so many benefits. You can improve your conversation "flow" with women and lose your fear of rejection. You become comfortable around women, which a lot of guys are not and come off as boring.

As you get more comfortable you become more "interesting" which means she wants to fuck but doesn't know it yet. Being interesting means more women want to be your friend which makes it easier to get plates. Getting more female friends and plates means you can develop your skill set better in terms of flirting. Her: "I have a boyfriend", You: "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were looking for a husband."

Medicine = Talking To Women = Self Improvement

Side Effect = Hot Women

[–]bestsparkyalive2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy

Thanks for not posting this in the main sub and posting it here. It makes a difference lol

[–]lolurfucked[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

why's that?

[–]bestsparkyalive3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Cause it’s a beginner to TRP type post . And you respected the main sub by not putting it there. In my opinion that’s reserved for pros

[–]bestsparkyalive2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

But I did enjoy the post a lot bro . Keep up this solid growth

[–]mysteryfist0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Isn't that sub quarantined? I'm new to all this...just happened to stumble on this sub in particular and am trying to find the source. Plus I'm shitty at using Reddit as it is.

[–]bestsparkyalive1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

You must go to the red pill on a pc to be able to access it on mobile. Quarantined does not mean gone

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Dunno what yall talking about, TRP works for me on mobile (at least through a browser).

[–]bestsparkyalive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m talking about the app tho

[–]mysteryfist0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Oh thanks man. I wasn't quite sure what it meant..I'll go check it out!

[–]ghosts_of_me1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Dope dude you seem alright.

My favourite place to go find girls in the daytime is shopping centres. You yanks call them Malls. Im lucky enough to live near a really big one and there are soooo many young girls there all the time.

[–]theparadoxapple1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

do you have a lot of success at these places?

[–]ghosts_of_me0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Lots of cute interactions but i havent really tried doing it properly. I remember though back when i was in primary school i would go hang out there with my best mate and try to see how many times we could get slapped by girls just for fun and it was so easy, unsurprisingly haha.

[–]seexo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

good shit, keep going

[–]Bilskee10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Keep up the hustle. It's just a numbers game. 10% success rate is considered good keep that in mind. Who cares what women say, watch what they do. Some girls are just bitchy, not always a shit test imo. Tease her hard or just endure til you get the number and leave.

I dont like clubs either. Plus I live in an older area with a weak night life. So I just find local events on fb and go to that. Local food markets, trivia nights at the bar have been my best bet, grocery store (try different times and days), home good stores or clothing stores.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

There are an unbelievable number of women and unless they are trying to kill you, you should probably approach. I suggest even casual comments, especially with women you see more often at your local watering hole.

You will find a small slice of women are into you pretty quickly, these are what you are looking for. Those with the most resistance are not unattainable, but I personally hate to work for a woman's proper behavior. I just don't have time for that shit.

I apply an 80/20 style rule. 20% of women will give you 80% of your enjoyment. 80% of the women will give you 20% of your enjoyment at higher costs and lower rewards.

Only fuck with the women you have to, always be trading up, at times I would rather be not fucking rather than putting up with some half assed 'messed up masterpiece' type chick.

[–]DocPBJ0070 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I have heard about it, but arent these women like some us too? If someone cold approached me, I dont know if I would talk, probably find it awkward too. Thats why being a salesman is hard...people's default response is to not talk too much to a stranger that comes up and says sup...or is it just an introvert thing>

[–]lolurfucked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yea they have no idea why we are approaching, lol

[–]anonymouz333 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

See that's where I'm different for from you is the hb8 ,hb9s are alot easyier for me but I also am attractive probably the the top 20% of guys I'm not tall but I am in great shape. Wish I went college kinda just for the pussy haha

[–]lolurfucked[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

so its all appearance huh? lol

[–]anonymouz333 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

It helps, I do have good game too but having the aesthetics helps if you say some dumb shit they are more likely to find a way to justify it.

[–]rugged790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good example of this is that YouTube guy that talks to girls and then always takes off his shirt revealing his 6 pack abs. Problem is most guys go into the gym and lift weights for 2 weeks and think they significantly improved their look. They're not being honest with themselves.

[–]Shoregrey 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

Facebook is a blow off. Forget that one.

[–]lolurfucked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

shes the most receptive so far

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Congrats. How long are you on no fap?

[–]lolurfucked[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

a week today

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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