Mixed message?

2ndal · 2019-02-07T19:49:20+00:00

But this has me thinking isn’t this a bad thing or a beta trait? To constantly show love and affection?

First, stop caring about labels. Not every fucking thing has to be "beta" or "alpha" or RP or BP. Life is not black and white. If it's working, keep doing it. If it's not, change it.

It's only "beta" if you're doing it to appease her. If you're doing it as a genuine response to having your shit together in life, yes, your wife will feed off that energy in a positive way. If you're doing it as a response to her mood or to get some thing out of her, you're not living your own life but your wife's life. She will feed off of that too, but not the way you want her to.

SeamusAwl · 2019-02-07T19:47:30+00:00

I would remove my attention and affection thinking I’m “punishing bad behavior”

I hate this thinking. Mainly because you shouldn't be punishing grown adults for bad behavior. That entails you are trying to change them. You remove attention solely because you will not tolerate disrespectful behavior, not as a means to punish them. If another guy shows you disrespect, you cut them as friends. The only difference is that with your LTR/Wife is you allow them grace to apologize and fix themselves.

I just have this paranoia that overtime this is going to make me seem beta.

Not so, you can still be her Alpha and show love and affection. But the thing is, if all you do is show her love and affection when she pouts, she will start to use that to manipulate you to get her way. On top of that, if you are constantly providing love and affection then you will have become something worse than beta. You will become emotionally boring to her. Women love to be excited emotionally (good or bad, doesn't matter).

Tbonesupreme · 2019-02-07T21:14:13+00:00

I think you have it all upside down.

Removing your attention isn't PUNISHMENT for BAD behavior.

Giving your attention is REWARD for GOOD behavior.

When she isn't acting correctly, she doesn't get her reward.

It's subtle, but to me, it's a big difference in frame.

cholomite · 2019-02-07T20:43:24+00:00

Women will conform to the mood you put them in. My gf deals with assholes at work all day and she'll come home grumpy and pissed off at everyone. She's not pleasant to be around when she is like that, but just leaving her to be alone won't change anything. It's not like she's being disrespectful, but women can't control their emotions.

That's why they need you to be the emotional rock. Let her wavy attitude crash up against your big strong man arms. I change my gf's mood by teasing her and pissing her off then squeezing and holding her while she calls me an asshole. Showing her with your attitude that the world isn't falling apart and that you're in control is exactly what she wants, she just doesn't know how to say it.

I try to stick with more of a "cocky funny" type of attitude, followed by comfort instead of just straight up comfort. Show her that her emotional swings don't phase you by controlling them and having fun with them.

Say something to piss her off a little, then tell her she is cute when she's angry and watch her melt into your frame.

ManguZa · 2019-02-07T18:51:20+00:00

If she reciprocate it, it's not an issue.
But be ready to go cold and strict when she'll misbehave. It'll begin with small things which will become bigger things if you let the place.

Reject444 · 2019-02-07T20:18:30+00:00

I think you might be missing something here. As I see it, removing time and attention isn't for normal "bad moods" or low energy days; for those things, YOU are the Captain and YOU set the tone and use your positive masculine energy to bolster her up and bring her out into a happy place again. Bad moods and low energy aren't something you should be looking to "punish" her for anyway; if she's in a bad mood it's your job to help her get over it by sharing your awesomeness with her. You only withdraw your time and attention for disrespect, sexual denials, or other violations of boundaries you have clearly established. I also think you can show your woman love and help her be happy without at all using beta behaviors.

TRP8myfeels · 2019-02-07T19:56:28+00:00

Just don't fall into helpless patterns. You can take most actions from a place of choice and power vs a place where she demands it and has expectations you must conform to.

Countpudyoola · 2019-02-07T20:49:59+00:00

I'm pretty sure it doesn't take MRP or RP or even any-old-guy to tell you when something isn't broke: don't fix it.

If something changes down the road you may need a tune up but don't tinker with an engine that runs well.

SteelSharpensSteel · 2019-02-07T18:56:18+00:00

Take this question to AskMRP.

HornsOfApathy · 2019-02-08T15:19:01+00:00

I have read and listened to WOTSM probably 10x. It's my favorite of the sidebar. I've pondered the same paradox that you have here. I think that personally, I've come to a conclusion that works for me.

When my wife is in a "normal" bad mood, it's usually because of outside influences filling her container with these bad moods. If I can determine that is the case - I do as the WOTSM suggests. I use my own energy and lifeforce, full of humor and genuine desire to create a new container for her to fill.

I can bring her up just by keeping my energy high and happy and showing her love.

Another way that I think about it is that when I do give her love/affection if she's in a normal bad mood I'm actively PUSHING my masculine energy through her. I don't "bring her up" as you suggest, I offer and push through her an alternative energy. It's a pretty esoteric way of thinking of things, but if you can master your breath you can master your energy and where it goes. WOTSM says to breathe deeply throughout the day to fill your own container (yourself) with the energy of positive lifeforce, masculinity, and humor.

But I do constantly show love. Bc I want to but there’s this voice that says. Red pill says don’t do this.

Good. Then that means you are your own point of origin. If you were doing this to change her shitty behavior that would be incorrect. If you're living your life of fullness from your masculine core for you it creates the container that she desires. You can't put her in a container. She has to choose it.

I just have this paranoia that overtime this is going to make me seem beta.

Looks like you've found your beta shit goblin.

Is this as simple as pulling back if behavior or sex frequency changes?

If what you're doing isn't producing the results you want, change it. If you're getting the results you want, keep it. It's that simple.

BluepillProfessor · 2019-02-11T18:29:13+00:00

Withdraw attention and eventually affection for sexual denials.

Why were you withdrawing this when there were no denials?

Why do you think showing love is "beta?"

You can be the sweetest, flower and tampax buying motherfucker in existence and still be Alpha as fuck. If you are getting all the sex, love, and respect that you want then there is no reason not to show the Beta love and cuddles.

red-sfpplus · 2019-02-07T19:39:37+00:00

You clearly do not know how to fuck.

When I am done fucking my woman she walks bow legged for two days.

She has sore legs and hips. Her arms are sore from being bent over and holding herself up.

Her ass is sore from getting slapped to nearly the point of bruising.

Her scalp might be a little sore from me pulling her hair a little to hard once or twice.

Her lower back is sore.

She sends me messages like:

“I can still taste you in my mouth”

“I can still feel you inside of me”

“Sometimes when I stand up I feel wetness drip out of me”

When I fuck my woman I take everything out of her. She drops down onto the bed while her legs shake and her body tremors from the orgasmic power I have unleashed upon her.

Learn how to fuck, and maybe you will satisfy her for once.

Title	Mixed message?
Author	starky000001
Upvotes	6
Comments	32
Date	February 7, 2019 6:47 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askMRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/ao70b0/mixed_message/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askMRP/mixed-message.217440 https://theredarchive.com/post/217440

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