I feel shitty

handfulofnuts · 2019-02-04T16:20:46+00:00

Living the life you want to live is hard. It necessarily comes with moments like this. It’s part of the territory when you decide to prioritize YOUR happiness over other people.

Deep down though, what are you upset about? You might be missing out on some good pussy. But that’s it.

I had a girl like this about a year ago. Best sex of my life. I mean miles better than anyone else, and I’ve had some fucking good sex. I may not ever find sex that good again (although I might). Sweet, fun to hang out with, etc. But it got to the point that I knew it wasn’t going to work out how I wanted, so I dropped her. It hurt. I was curled up, listening to sad songs and all that shit. But it was the right decision for my happiness.

Same when I told my ex wife it was over. By far the hardest thing I’ve ever done. After the conversation, once I was alone, I broke down scream-crying.

At the end of the day though, there are other women out there. Women who are compatible with the way YOU want to live your life. Cry over this girl, but then GET over her. Your happiness is the game here, and if she obstructs that, GET RID OF HER.

To paraphrase Patrice, you’re Superman, surrounded by Kryptonian women who make you feel like Clark Kent. But there are women out there who will make you feel like Superman.

If she’s not that girl, NEXT. That’s one of the most powerful tools you have in your arsenal. Not because it gives you power over women, but because it gives you power over YOUR LIFE.

You’ll get through this. Feeling like shit after something like this is normal. Don’t take it as an indication that you’re doing something wrong, because you’re not. Living life the way you want to live it is hard.

SalporinRP · 2019-02-04T17:31:47+00:00

Sometimes a plate breaking can be a shitty thing. You don't have to be an emotionless rock about it.

The main thing to realize is to just not let yourself get into a rut because of this. Keep hitting the gym and doing your thing. It will pass eventually.

T-P-T-W-P · 2019-02-04T19:47:22+00:00

Take what you want from TRP and leave what you don’t, it’s your life. Over the past three years, I’ve had periods of several good plates + ONS’s at a time and periods of exclusivity with one female. The exclusive ones are always very attractive/submissive and make things easy for me like coming over whenever I want, cleaning, cooking etc. Essentially they have to earn it in full. Obviously there is the big downside of having only one pussy and the likelihood that you will become more beta, but you can definitely maintain RP status if you’ve got your shit right. When I have had a good thing going with one chick, I tend to be productive in my work and education because they meet my needs and I don’t need to get out and about as much. I still put in a lot of work to maintain my SMV/wider social circle and am fully confident I can go bang sluts at any point, but I don’t always want to when I can be productive in my life and come home late from a workout or business meeting to a 8.5 grilling a steak for me after she’s already got my laundry going. I certainly do like banging sluts, but I don’t like it enough to interfere with things that I deem to be more important. If she understands you’re still the man and you’ve correctly vetted her, you can make it work for a period of time. But you have to stay alpha, stay improving, and don’t be one of the dudes who grants exclusivity to some average chick who thinks she’s the shit and is gifting you the glory of her meh puss. That’s the biggest beta move out and it gets made all the time and may be the downfall of our gender.

red_philosopher · 2019-02-04T16:05:48+00:00

Yeah, it's going to happen from time to time. She didn't do anything that warranted being broken up with, you simply weren't ready for that stage and that's not her fault. Feeling bad for something like that is understandable. It's nothing you did, nothing she did, and you grow and move on.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-02-04T16:15:01+00:00

Not sure the details, but you could have handled 'the talk' better? Not sure if you could have dangled the carrot, to possibly keep her around.

But abundance. We HAVE to put what we truly want above pussy.

Thinkingard · 2019-02-04T19:37:06+00:00

Don't go back on what you decided, you will get harder and it will be easier to maintain frame next time so you avoid this mental anguish from happening again.

rugged79 · 2019-02-05T02:23:16+00:00

You got a lot of good advice here.

You still have to read more material. The guys giving you the advice know how to deal with the shit you're going through better than you because they read more than you and took the time to figure it out as well.

Even as logical creatures, men are emotional. Difference between us and women is we tend to try to use our emotions rather than be controlled by them.

Doesn't mean that a guy doesn't cry his eyes out when his oneitis rejects him. Doesn't mean when he leaves a girl, he doesn't feel anything, even if a girl was a plate.

Diagnosis: Play 80's rock power ballads while drinking and smoking in a dark corner, while yelling out the song lyrics, while blubbering and crying like a bitch. Then get over it.

BurnieSlander · 2019-02-05T03:37:31+00:00

Sounds like you punished her because you were being a bitch. Doesn’t really make sense does it?

acaliforniaburrito · 2019-02-04T23:31:11+00:00

do what makes you happy, dont try to stick to some blueprint you found on the internet.

red_matrix · 2019-02-04T20:10:19+00:00

It’s good to practice frame with your plate. I don’t usually break off a plate unless she disrespects me in some way. If she’s fun and flirty, what’s the logic in dropping her? Let them walk away if they want an LTR (some will, she didn’t seem willing to do this). It sounds like you lost frame and rather than get it back you just ended it (run away from your problems).

drsherbert · 2019-02-04T20:13:23+00:00

Don’t ever drop a plate. Let them drop off on their own.

FlyingSexistPig · 2019-02-05T01:50:55+00:00

A comforting lie is nicer than the harsh reality.

The comforting lie is that this woman deserved your exclusivity. That she is a unicorn.

jenovajunkie · 2019-02-05T02:50:45+00:00

Why can't you keep working on your mission, yet keep her around?

[deleted] · 2019-02-04T17:05:16+00:00

I have some thoughts, but I'm not going to give you any advice rn. You did the right thing, and this feeling too shall pass

0io- · 2019-02-04T20:08:13+00:00

Just because you're not exclusive doesn't usually mean you can't see her anymore. You know, from how you describe her, she sounds like a great girl who really wants to please you. Why don't you just go for some threesomes with her and some other girls? From how you describe her she'd probably be up for it. Just tell her (truthfully) that you don't deal with exclusivity very well but you can't be dishonest and don't want to cheat on her. Of these 5 other plates, at least one would gladly fool around with both of you at the same time. The worst that can happen is she says no. And there's no way you're going to come off as beta suggesting threesomes with this girl who loves to please you. Give it a try, you might surprise yourself. If she's really that into you she'll go for it.

I think you feel shitty because you demoted a girlfriend who didn't do anything wrong, just because you started developing beta bad habits.

chazthundergut · 2019-02-05T01:05:39+00:00

Next time wait longer to give her your exclusivity. Try to stay in the honeymoon period for as long as possible

ValorElite · 2019-02-08T19:14:27+00:00

“Gave exclusivity before I was ready”

Sounds like something a woman would say. Be a man and make better choices

FereallyRed · 2019-02-04T20:18:37+00:00

Blue still dripping out. It happens.

Title	I feel shitty
Author	nothestrawberrypatch
Upvotes	102
Comments	37
Date	February 4, 2019 3:41 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/an2twq/i_feel_shitty/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-feel-shitty.217839 https://theredarchive.com/post/217839