Is being very selfish the best way to live life?

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April 16, 2019

I want to squeeze as much as joy i can get out of life before dying and just care about myself and love life and have fun.

I don't belive in religion,politics etc and im not interested at all.

By selfish i mean putting myself always first,being highly focused and competitve and ignoring non sense,being the best possible version of myself that there is.

Anyone and everything else is unimportant.

Post Information
Title Is being very selfish the best way to live life?
Author bad-_-romance
Upvotes 100
Comments 67
Date 16 April 2019 04:55 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit askTRP
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[–]Modredpillschool168 points169 points  (8 children) | Copy

Being selfish is important. Nobody will care about you more than you, so it's your job to take care of you.

That said, don't let selfishness be a stand-in for making short-sightedly bad decisions. If you treat everybody around you like shit don't be surprised when your social investments never pay out.

Being selfish means getting what you want now, but also ensuring you can still get what you want later. Being antisocial won't help that.

[–]bad-_-romance 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Yes true,being social is very important,atleast being social for the things you care about.

[–]enteralterego1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

the correct term I believe is "prosocial". You could be social and extremely selfish and exhibit antisocial behaviour at the same time. Most psychopaths are really pleasant and fun people, and that s how they lure people in.

Prosocial is stuff that primarily benefits others. Similar to altruism.

[–]Nergaal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Being selfish could also mean that you help somebody today so you have a chance to get more in return later.

[–]TheRedPillRipper18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy

I frame it as self-conscious investment. I’m known as generous, kind and a real people person. I’ll invest time(most valuable to me), in people(relationships), and finally money; but I’ll always do so conscious of what outcome/benefit I’ll derive from said investment.

That said no-one bar my eldest brother knows much and no one on the face of the earth knows my true intentions, goals and motivations.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]EvolvedVirus1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Why do you not want others to know your true intentions, goals, motivations? The majority of internet debates and backstabbings in any hierarchy or social structure, is the fact that people are suspicious of other peoples' motives, goals, and intentions.

If everyone thought you were honorable, truthful, and willing to help, it's much harder for them to attack you knowing they burn a bridge.

The only reason TRP ever got vilified by anyone was because of those who tried to question the subreddits' motivations: by accusing TRP of being "selfish", "worshiping narcissists/psychos", "manipulative" or even "abusive". All lies or misinterpretation but some small bit of truth according to what OP observed (e.g. that narcissistic psychopaths are successful, but neuroscience shows that this is a confusion of alpha traits and psycho traits). If everyone understood the goal was to enjoy life, enjoy sex, or have a companion/partner for life, then there is no reason to vilify. This is why we question the motives of those who attack TRP, by saying that their real motivation is because they got dumped a lot thanks to TRP recommending "next" on a lot of terrible women. Theirs is the immoral motivation.

So again I ask why we hide our motivations? We should always clarify it.

[–]TheRedPillRipper0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

why we hide our motivations?

Ever played poker u/EvolvedVirus? It’s a great analogy for The workplace, the bedroom, the family room, The SMP and life in general.

it’s much harder for them to attack you

It is. If their perception is one thing and reality another. If they perceive you as you wish them to it gives them no reason to attack you.

neuroscience shows

Peer reviewed evidence would give this argument weight. In my opinion there traits you’re talking about are often the same. The difference is intention. I’ve been described as a psychopath numerous times in my life but if an animal needs to be put down; I’m the one they ask. Why? This is because it takes the same trait to objectively disassociate yourself from killing an animal out of mercy that it does to hunt wild boars.

Alpha traits; psychotic traits; often there’s very little difference. The main one is intention. That I would council u/EvolvedVirus; for your own benefit; to be discerning who you share it with.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]EvolvedVirus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I agree with what you're saying but what aren't you saying?

their perception is one thing and reality another.

Are you trying to say that your intentions were selfish-or-bad and so that's why you hid it to assist with SMP/family/workplace etc.? Or am I misinterpreting this?

Or are you saying I am ACTUALLY doing the strategy of hiding my true intentions, by proclaiming just how honorable I am hehehehe?

I guess it's true, we can never know how deep the deception might go. But usually you can convince someone of your true intentions, if they are true and honorable. If they are dishonorable or greedy, then sure, it might make sense to hide it. But people don't want to be hurt. Girls don't want to be pumped and dumped. Girls don't want a liar or heartless person to date long-term.

That could explain their distrust. As a service to men around the world: you should not solidify and spread that distrust by doing things that harm others (unless of course they fully deserve it, looping back to your "animal" analogies; some animals don't deserve any kindness).

[–]thrwy754791 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yea, it's a complex issue. There are a lot of nuances.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev52 points53 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yes, but without being a douche, which is sort of what you are describing. Think more in terms of “Enlightened Self-Interest”.

[–]bad-_-romance 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

Being a decent assertive friendly guy,but always having your interestest on first place and not coming across as a douche or arrogant,that's what i think.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

All the succesful people are narcissistic psychopaths for what i have noticed and do everything for their benefit.


Being a decent friendly assertive guy

You see where I might think that these concepts conflict?

[–]flipwater0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Being yourself, I'd say. Selfishly and completely yourself. If caring deeply about others is something that naturally happens for you, let that happen, and embrace it. But yeah, also be assertive, which also comes from being unapologetically yourself.

[–]forsaken_in_the_dark7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

People will make you feel like a douche if you won't do what they ask you to do. It's better to ignore worrying about being a douche altogether. If you have some ethics, then you should be fine.

[–]the13thmonk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]reddysettygo22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

Perhaps a healthy amount of selfishness, to the degree similar to airline safety announcements: “. . . place the oxygen mask on yourself first before attempting to help others . . . “

[–]priapula0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

thats because if you run out you cant help others lmao. You put yours before the child because you can help the child after

[–]Abnull12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Not at all. Take care of yourself first. This might seem selfish to beta cucks. It's not. After you have taken care of yourself, be generous.

If you want to excel in life and especially business, selfishness will be your down fall. It will limit you to mediocrity.

[–]FereallyRed 1 points [recovered]  (10 children) | Copy


Don't tell anybody, though.

[–]bad-_-romance 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy


[–]EvolvedVirus1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Narcissist psychopaths are not the only ones who are successful. First a psychopath is only ~1% of the population.

Second, there is neuroscience that indicates that people easily confuse traits of bullying, fearlessness, courage, selfishness with good negotiating power. It's one of the main reasons why politics is so confusing and no one can decide on candidates (and why it's usually not a landslide).

In other words, it is easy for people to confuse the traits of Hitler, Stalin, with the traits of say FDR, Churchill, or JFK. That they have difficulty recognizing moral behavior and difficulty understanding bravery, strength, vs sadism. That they have difficulty differentiating cowardly bullies from war heroes.

They might think a man being kicked while he's down by another man, is a show of strength by the kicker, rather than an act of weakness and insecurity. Some girls will try to use shittests to identify and recognize (and filter out) this type of person.

Maybe you think someone is a narcissist psychopath, but it turns out they aren't, they are just good at negotiating for themselves. Maybe you think someone is good at negotiating for themselves and their friends, but they are actually a ruthless psychopath and crook.

We see this as well in AskTRP or TRP all the time: People EASILY confusing Alpha behavior which might be more fair, with bullying, mean-spirited behavior.

Sometimes a newb-TRPer will think he's acting all tough and alpha, then he lashes out at a woman who rejects him instead of passing the shit test.

[–]Nergaal-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

We see this as well in AskTRP or TRP all the time: People EASILY confusing Alpha behavior which might be more fair, with bullying, mean-spirited behavior.

Not many people actively participating in discussions seem to notice this distinction. No wonder TRP has a terrible notoriety.

[–]Casd129 points10 points  (6 children) | Copy

Says the guy who's dedicating his precious time to helping others.

[–]the13thmonk10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

The most selfish thing you can do, is to help others.

[–]ultrasuperthrowaway5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Helping others gives me obscene pleasure

[–]the13thmonk2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]mrpoopistan8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

The obsession with outright selfishness is one of the things I believe TRP gets very wrong. In primatology, there have been studies that indicate alpha males benefit from significant generosity.

There is an ever-present threat that a beta male -- in the proper primatological sense of a close and strong beneficiary of the alpha leader, not the incorrect TRP sense that anyone who isn't king is just meat -- may overthrow the alpha at any time. The benefit of not being selfish for the alpha male arises from forging group cohesion behind him through generosity.

With all that said, the alpha male in primatology rules as a benevolent tyrant. He still breeds much more prolifically than the strongest betas, and he will eat your goddamned face if you cross him.

It's not necessary to be selfish. But, it doesn't hurt to make sure you're always keeping score and cutting free riders and moochers loose. I promise you, a generous alpha chimp can flip a switch on any omega who makes the mistake of pissing him off.

I don't belive in religion,politics

Would this be a terrible time to point out how many psychopaths become church and political leaders? Successful people put up with lots of nonsense because we're all only born with two hands. Even the dumbest person is likely two good hands that can be put to work by an industrious leader. A good chess player appreciates the value of a pawn.

[–]its4thecatlol1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agree with every word you said.

[–]Orfeu_da_Conceicao0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. Being selfish and winning benefits the people around you who matter, but only if you possess values and are not a trash human being.

[–]GoyInTheStripedPJs7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

In my opinion, no. Most here will say yes, and that’s fine. But I accept a form of Kantian ethics which emphasizes the importance of duty first and foremost. Duty to oneself is a central tenet of this, but it isn’t everything. I disagree with the notion that being self-serving is the best way to live life, however if you frame it as “being the best possible version of myself” like you did in the third sentence then yeah I agree entirely. I disagree with you once more though when you imply in the fourth line that one should emulate “narcissistic psychopath[s]” because they tend to be successful (a claim which is arguable in itself).

[–]its4thecatlol0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank the gods for a well read intelligent man. It is the strong man's ability that mandates him to the benefit of his tribe. The path to the top is difficult, comes at an immense cost, and is obscured by the modern political discourse. But once there, there is more to do than just increase ones own power. I want to make an analogy to ancient Rome. Julius Caesar, the prototype for all tyrants and monarchs after him, was loved by his subjects. His rivals Pompei and Crassus did little but chase personal power and money, respectively. Pompei lost the civil war to Caesar because the latter - who was loved so dearly by the common people - attracted more men and more capable men to his cause. Crassus died by having molten gold poured down his throat.

Being a sociopath makes you little but a tyrant- a strong man with nothing but dust and ashes left of him a handful of moons after his stay on the Earth. Being a benevolent monarch leaves you a destiny. For your own ego. For your children. For humanity.

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ayn Rand wrote The Virtue of Selfishness on this topic. Don't leave it on the coffee table; I'll never forget a girlfriend 20-25 years ago screaming at me during a break-up fight, "And you sit around reading books about how to be MORE SELFISH!" Covers the material well without having a character make an 80 page speech or rant.

I prefer an enlightened self-interest/Libertarian fair trader model over the usual narcissistic psychopath.

[–]resnine6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you haven't read the 48 Laws of Power you should. It puts these things like these questions into perspective.

Just do what you want to do.

[–]dtyler862 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Read the Fountainhead by Ayn Rand. A popular topic discussed throughout. While fictional, it’s relatable and insanely inspirational.

[–]nexther1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s the best way to live life.

[–]TreesLikeGodsFingers1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

nobody else gives a shit about your meat bag. so yes, you need to be selfish until your needs are met

[–]independent_rooster1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

you're more honest than selfish. a lot of people do that, but they rationalize some higher motives for their actions

[–]californicatorz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Take care of yourself before helping others. Truth

[–]dusara2174 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you're asking if being selfish will make you happy, then no. It won't. Generally speaking, the most consistent means of generating happiness is in finding some kind of meaningful pursuit or mission in life and then pursuing it. Errol Flynn was selfish his entire life - he did drugs, lied, screwed around, fucked everything with two legs and a vagina, and ultimately died at the age of 50 miserable and broke after having spent his whole life living for his own pleasure and after having gotten filthy rich in his twenties. Perhaps your own selfish career won't be a road to stardom like his was, but it will likely end the same way - miserable and wondering what your life could have been if you had done something meaningful with it.

If you're asking if being selfish will net you the most power and short-term hedonistic pleasure, then that is exactly what it will do.

Meaningful action begets long term happiness.

[–]larsenf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only reasonable response here. Humans are not solitary creatures, we have been able to succeed and dominate as a species not because of individuals but as a group. Nothing will ever bring you as much joy and happiness or validation as much as other peoples trust and love for you. Money does not equal success or happiness.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]Don_Draper270 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Study up on NLP. You might find some important principles.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Any books you recommend ?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Once you take care of your needs, it's easier to extend that same attitude towards others. The golden rule is key IMHO.

[–]CaptainBW0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Context is always key, and perception is also a factor. Some people finding meaning in their own “selfishness,” others find meaning in “selflessness.” Others can strike a balance between the two, because they’re somewhat mixed together given the situation. Honestly, it sounds like you have some depression and need to sort some things out for yourself. “I don’t care about anything so I’m just going to be selfish and hopefully that brings me happiness” is what this reads as...which is a natural response to not caring about anything, although it appears as if your Soul is injured and you’ve let your Ego run amok.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

To some degree. Don’t get too carried away though, or you will be labelled the “prick”. As with everything, learn balance.

[–]DANYboy520 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes. Compassion is not a choice for most people, it is an obligation. Generally speaking people will try to get away with as much as they can or THINK they can but often social pressures are what stop them. Live by your rules

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes I think so

[–]Winning__0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t confuse selfish with self love. Self preservation and growth are valuable. Others call it selfish when they don’t benefit

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am good to others around me that are best to me. I discourage any of them having anyone leech off of them so that they can better provide for me. I love them, I spend time with them and I do very well for myself and promote that within my circle.

It works very well.

[–]3chazthundergut0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Be selfish with women, but be generous with your friends and family

[–]Andorli0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You sound like you are 12.

[–]riggedved0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Being selfish is misunderstood. You have to realise that you always have to look out for yourself and not be a pushover.

Having said that, your life will never have meaning if youre doing everything just for yourself. You can only make your life wonderful if you do things that serve your others: your family, your community, your country, your planet. That is what will give your life meaning.

[–]ArgonOriginal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No, I mean take care of you first( found this the hard way - no one cares about you, your physical or mental health more than yourself) but if you are in a good place then please share with others

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

success comes from caring about others and yourself I believe. By caring for yourself, you allow yourself to do the best work that you can for society.

Mutual self interest is important

A truly selfish person can't see things from other people's perspective or in a flawed view, hence they suffer in business

[–]kelticslob0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Strongly disagree with “successful people are all narcissistic psychopaths”. Lots of successful people are extremely giving of their time and energy, and got where they are because people love them.

[–]MetalWeather0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Growing as a person by confronting unknowns and finding meaning will fulfill you more than chasing joy/happiness ever will.

After the last year of focusing on self discipline and facing discomfort for delayed gratification I'm a firm believer in that path. Reading Meditations by Marcus Aurelius and beginning to practice Stoicism sealed the deal for me.

One of the many things stoicism demands is acting for the good of others. It all fits into a larger worldview.. so I highly recommend reading Meditations to get a better picture of what I mean.

[–]Ironic_Gangster0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No. No matter how anti-social we, as men, are, we are still social animals. Even psychopaths get bored and want human interaction at least to keep them entertained. It's wise to always act in self interest, but truly ask yourself if you're acting in your own best interest. Acting in your own self interest isn't always doing the selfish thing. There are great advantages to comradery and building relationships, which is why humans evolved to be social animals in the first place. Hope that answers your question.

[–]maljo240 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Selfishness destroys relationships.

[–]thrownawayisland-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Addendum: Selflessness destroys relationships.

[–]nross368-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy

The alternative:

Be selfless

Put others first

Other people are more important than you

Don't hurt people

Be nice

Help everyone even at the expense of yourself

Let people take advantage of you

Don't stand up for yourself

Be generous with your time

Don't make yourself a threat

Don't stand out less you make others feel small

Be a bitch......

Be selfish with your money, time, and life. You're not selfish enough. You're not assertive enough. You don't care about yourself enough. You don't value yourself.

Being selfish is synonymous with bad. Not because it's bad, but because its putting your interest first. And at the expense of others. It's in the same ball park as manipulation. Manipulation can be bad or good. But is known to be bad. You can't be successful and not be selfish.

The same people that preach be selfless are the same ones that amount to nothing in life. You have to have a mix of both traits. View your in group gets good treatment where the out group gets plundered.

But if I have to teach you something this basic you're probably fucked. Go listen to to your cuck friends. Because if you're having a moral quandary about why you need to be selfish you're fucked.

[–]bad-_-romance 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy

im posting here out of curiosity i know what im doing,relax

[–]nross3680 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If you knew what you where doing you wouldn't have posed the question.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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