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My lifting has caused a shit storm

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April 16, 2019
10 upvotes

Six months ago, I got serious about strength training and applying BPP's first and second levels of dread. Lifting 3-4 days a week, committing to hitting the iron temple every morning, and cleaning up my diet has produced results. The good news: I've lost 30 lbs of fat, got my BMI down to 22, and I can almost bench my weight.

The bad news: My wife seems to resent the hell out of my gym habit. Every night brings nonstop snark: "You love the gym more than you love me." "I should just buy you an escort since you're clearly just trying to impress other women."

First, I acted like a beta bitch and thought this might be a comfort test. So I did a lot of hugging and reassuring. When she pushed me away I got disgusted with myself for letting my inner beta faggot get the best of me.

Next I tried to STFU. That just brings on more of the same: "You have nothing to say???"

Then, I try to humorously agree and amplify: "Thanks for the offer to buy an escort. But go slowly, I can only handle five or six at a time." This just escalates the rage level even more.

I'm out of ideas. I cannot even tell whether this is a shit test or something more malevolent. My only guess is that she resents my progress, is unhappy with her own physical shape, and is lashing out at me. I'm trying hard to hold frame and not boil over in rage and am running out of ideas.


Post Information
Title My lifting has caused a shit storm
Author Rickenbass
Upvotes 10
Comments 32
Date 16 April 2019 12:09 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/225727
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bdt606/my_lifting_has_caused_a_shit_storm/
Similar Posts

Red Pill terms found in post:
A&Abetadread gameframeshit testlift
Comments

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando14 points15 points  (4 children) | Copy

I've been lurking here for a while, and am only six months into unplugging. Read the sidebar material. NMMG really has my number.

That was posted two years ago. 2.5 years since you claim you unplugged. 24 months since you claimed you read the sidebar.

And yet you don't know the difference between shit tests and comfort tests.

I'm not going to offer you any advice here. Why? Because you are a lazy fucking cunt who refuses to put in the work.

[–]Rickenbass[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Guilty as charged. 2.5 years ago I read No More Mr Nice Guy, Rational Male, and BPP’s masterpiece . I unplugged. But then I did get complacent and lazy when it came to diet and exercise. I got fatter and my game really slid.

Six months ago, I said enough. I started using Drew Baye’s approach and program. I have never been this fit. My wife’s reactions are very new to me, especially the intensity of her anger. So you’re right, I can’t tell the difference between a shit test and a comfort test in this specific context.

I appreciate the insights the comments are providing. The virtual ass kicking is a needed reminder that unplugging is only the beginning.

I’ve been re-reading the sidebar and trying to get my mindset back into shape.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Unplugged, then switched off. You're back on the horse now - make sure you stay on it.

Not sure I'd call BPP's book a masterpiece. Decent up to to a point but personally I think the chapters on Dread Levels 6-8 are washy and the final chapters.. meh.. I prefer the Acta Non-Verba approach.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Unplugged, then switched off.

"I don't want to remember nothing. Nothing. You understand? [pause] And I want to be rich. You know, someone important, like an actor."

[–]WolfofAllStreetz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

SBIII the Carmen San Diego of this shit, lmao

[–]RPeed12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think you're missing the part of DGAF, where you stop giving a fuck.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

When my 8 year old stomps around and throws a fit, do I console her? Do I try to make her laugh? Do I try to change her feelings? Fuck no. My wife isn't any different.

Detach the emotional hose.

Get stoic.

Use her brain to do the work for you.

"oh, hmmm I don't know what to think about that. Hey when you want to talk to me like a big girl I'm ready."

Then walk away. No one gets on the crazy train if the station is empty.

Your time is her reward for good behavior. Dole it out appropriately.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

Although MRP is as far from a "one weird trick" you can get. There is one that I find very helpful. Imagine she is 4 years old. Literally. How ironic is it that we have all of the programming we need to think and act exactly the way we need built in our brains and we lose it the minute we leave that dynamic?

"Daddy, why do you have to go to work, why don't you stay home and play teddy bear picnic with me? Don't you love me?"

"Well sweetie, I do love you, but I also love not having to live in the woods, eat squirrels, and use leaves for toilet paper, so I am going to work now, but when I get back I'm looking forward to some yummy tea and cookies."

OP, why do you have to go to the gym all the time? Who are you trying to impress?

"Sigh....You're right.....I've been seeing someone, and I'm trying to impress them"

What!?!?!

"Yeah, sometimes multiple times in a day"

You sonovabitch!

"It's true....every morning I see this guy in this mirror, and I think, he looks pretty good, but I'm not impressed. I'm trying to impress myself. I know Oprah says what's inside is what counts, but it turns out I'm really shallow."

Whatever... why does everything have to be a joke?

"Ok, you're right, that was immature. The real reason is I'm preparing for the zombie apocalypse. I think it is coming soon. I'm going bunker shopping next week, want to come?" --- Ass slap, end scene

[–]Rickenbass[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is pure gold!

[–]CringeyMan2000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This here. These techniques are laid out well in WISNIFG (Ch6, 7): Fogging and Negative Inquiry

None of Your Responses are assertive. Try some fogging: "You're probably right. I do love the way working out makes me feel." "You're probably right. Women probably do find me more attractive and are impressed with me." "You're probably right. I do like being attractive." "You're right. I don't feel guilty about it at all." "You're probably right about women being impressed with me. But an escort sounds like something for a guy that doesn't impress women."

Also Negative Inquiry: "What exactly about working out is bad?" "What exactly about being attractive is bad?" "What exactly about women finding me attractive is bad?" "Do you want to be married to someone unattractive?"

Also, the boiling with rage part is a big concern. It sounds like she is just enjoying her power to toy with your emotions. The power to dominate you is slipping from her grasp. Do you boil with rage when a toddler cries because you're going to the gym?

It is a simple as "I want to work out. I understand you want me to feel guilty for working out, but I don't."

[–]FixYourselfFirst5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Sure, go to bed early like you're a roommate not a husband."

Sounds like you stopped gaming her.

[–]Reach180Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This just escalates the rage level even more.

This is fine. Learn to be bulletproof to her rages, but don't be a sperg. Be playful, like her rages can't foul your mood.

Good job on the weight progress. Keep it up.

[–]mrp_awakening3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, I got those too.

STFU worked for me. Basically answer yep, or yeah to everything and don't elaborate. If she's like my wife, she'll then accuse you of being selfish, or conceited. Just agree... "yep", "uh-huh", "ok", "i can see that" and don't elaborate. Don't DEER. Just fog and STFU. Shit tests morphed into comfort tests. Easy to spot... basically the whole "I'm afraid you'll leave me" dialogue.

[–]mrpthrowa3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why does this bother you?

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

You dropped 30 pounds! Well done man. Keep going. Dont let this harpy cunt slow you down. Her rage means its working, they dont give up power without a tantrum -- fighting is for men -- you have nothing to fear, this is just the weather.

As you were, back at it!

[–]Rickenbass[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

Thanks for the encouragement and all of the great insights in this thread. I slacked off on the RP fundamentals for way too long. That stops now.

[–]markpf734 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy

Crabs in a bucket / Trying to keep you under her thumb.

I’m going with amused mastery on the tantrums being thrown here.

Funny - I ran the starting strength linear progression over 2 years and it didn’t even raise an eyebrow (not enough change to set off her hamster’s barometer).

I switched to crossfit at 5am and her hamster has gone wild. Probably a good thing as I’ve needed all of the last 2 years to get to an honest IDGAF and operate in my own frame. Once pussy was no longer my mission it all started to click. It just took awhile.

[–]McLuhanSaidItFirst2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Crossfit changed the way I carried myself. I like Stronglifts 5x5 for the strength gains but the 10 points of fitness in Crossfit made me feel more 'ready for anything': confident.

Maybe she sees that. Plus there are way more chicks (dread) in a Crossfit box than in a weight room.

[–]Jussie_Mullet1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Success!

[–]Jussie_Mullet0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

1000 foot rope hasn't tightened yet.

Keep piloting your own fucking ship.

The further away you get the less you can hear her ranting. Soon it'll only sound like the wind.

Whoosh, motherfucker.

[–]go-RED-go2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm also a noob but I can tell you how I handled it and it worked out for me.

The day I decided I would go to the gym regullary, I informed her: "I decided to go to the gym 3 times a week, no exception. This is something I really need and want for myself. I need it for my physical and mental well-being. And for my long term health, as I'm mostly sitting every day at work." She agreed then, but decided to shit tests about it soon after.

When she would later argue about me "allways going to the gym", I would just calmly say: "Babe, you know I need it. We discussed this before." BROKEN RECORD. And I would allways go.

It's just something that I do now, like brushing my teeth.

Not long after, she started to work out at home in addition to her weekly pole dance class. I encouraged her new activity. It also makes her less bitchy.

The rope works.

[–]friendandadvisor2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm for STFU. Uhh...by that I mean, when she starts carrying on like a harpie, you DO NOT FUCKING CAVE IN LIKE A FUCKING CRY-BABY BITCH!

Oh! Did I just do that?

STFU doesn't mean "STFU until she complains" and "Frame" does not mean "act Alpha until you get resistance".

BTW, read and learn "16 Commandments of Poon".

[–]Eminencemiddle1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Her: ""Blah, blah, blah..."

You:"Wanna fuck?"

Her: "I want a divorce, blah, scream, spit..."

You: "Wanna fuck?"

You've lost 30 pounds, can almost bench your weight, and your BMI is down. Stop whining like a faggot.

[–]johnn20152 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need to be consistent. She will keep testing you until you are sure of yourself. Until your frame is strong enough I would revoke to STFU or do one word response and move on.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you fuck your wife at night before bed or ignore her? Sounds like you need more sidebar to go with your lifting.

[–]buckeyeboy19770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Same thing happened to me. Shit tests turned to comfort tests. At first I would Deer then once the comfort tests came I failed those for a few weeks. Then I stfu and kept on my mission to build up myself for myself. Eventually the rope tightened and I gradually upped the dread levels. Once she noticed other women checking me out her mission became to lose her weight. She has lost a ton of weight and hits the gym regularly. You can’t make her follow. In my case it took 6 months. Stay the course for yourself and keep improving. She will follow or she won’t.

[–]jcrptaRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Which is why you need to internalise all the various options in MAP and MMSLP.

You cannot rely on just one or two for exactly the reason you describe.

[–]H2orocks3000Probably NAWALTING around0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Honestly, Invite her to join you.

[–]McLuhanSaidItFirst0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I wonder why that's not suggested more often. It's a two fer one. She sees the dread competition watching you lift, she gets your company, you are a team. If she says no then it makes her lack of commitment obvious.

What's the downside?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

STFU. A good answer is silence with a “Hmn” or, “oh really”.

What you don’t know and what you should define is manipulation

It’s easy to fall into a trap of living in other’s frame. Look it up.

Read the side bar and start with the recommend reading. Realize that you are no one special, except, you are the prize and as you improve, a bag of “skittles” as a gift from you, a valuable man, is an exceptional gift.

Lift. Read. STFU

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Why does she think you are doing all this to impress other women??? If that is her angle you either said something you shouldnt have or went in the wrong direction.

From the start the gym was presented as "This is me taking control of my life and being the best possible man I could be." Then it morphed into "Its for my mind and body" -> since i get alot of my thinking done. But i also have a stressful job and make alot of money so its not crazy to think I need that 1 hour of 'temple' time.



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