Is this what frame is?

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May 5, 2019

I think I've finally understood it. Frame is when you react to things on YOUR behalf. Frame is when she talks to another guy you don't care. You don't react to her actions, but you react to yours. Frame is actually like indifference. You are your own man, you are isolated from everyone.

When a man loses frame and a woman dumps him, she says "He's not like the man I fell in love with". Losing frame is when you change FOR a woman. A man with a strong frame wouldn't care what his gf has to say. Frame is when you see things through your own lens, your own bubble. If a girl says that your shirt is ugly and you change it straight away - you've entered her frame. Frame is one of the most powerful things you should keep. Losing it will be the end.

This I have learnt from experience. I finally see it. Thank you!

Post Information
Title Is this what frame is?
Author MajesticPitch
Upvotes 292
Comments 54
Date 05 May 2019 03:45 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askTRP
Original Link
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[–]AstuteBlackMan114 points115 points  (15 children) | Copy

If a girl told me she thinks my mom is a bitch and hates my dad (who are both objectively loving people) I'd be upset but I wouldnt show it. In the end I dont entirely care because I know for a fact they are great people.

If a girl says I have a small dick I dont care, in fact I'll probably laugh. If my dick is small and you fuck me more than once it's clearly not an issue.

I may be entirely wrong on this but thats how I view it. Just not reacting to her bullshit in a negative way or that's in a way that favors her

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck77 points78 points  (0 children) | Copy

You shouldn’t even care if she insulted your mom.

Stoicisim 101. Nothing can upset you. You just demote the bitch and next her.

Just my opinion.

[–]MajesticPitch[S] 36 points37 points  (2 children) | Copy

  1. If a girl said that, I'd be giving her a soft next. That's blatant disrespect. A man outside his frame wouldn't next. Because they'd be scared the girl would lose interest in them. They'd be scared to hurt their feelings.

  2. Small dick, I'd laugh too. That's a shit test.

You're kinda correct. Frame is when you do stuff the way YOU want. Frame is reacting in a selfish manner. In a manner that benefits you. That's what I've realised from my experience. It's easy to maintain frame with random girls, their opinions don't matter. But with an LTR it's hard af, you start to develop emotions and start thinking about them. You start to naturally leave your frame. That's why LTRs are TRP on hard mode.

[–]AstuteBlackMan13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

Of course that's a next no doubt but at the end of the day I'm unfazed.

And yeah that's why a good portion of LTRs get ruined. If men held frame more bitches would fall in line. They do things solely for her benefit when it should be the other way around.

[–]MajesticPitch[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. Most LTRs get fucked over because of men losing their frame. Has happened to me before - only now have I finally UNDERSTOOD frame and I can now reflect on the times I fucked up.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (10 children) | Copy

If a girl told me she thinks my mom is a bitch and hates my dad (who are both objectively loving people) I'd be upset but I wouldnt show it.

I get that you're trying to slough it off, but that's weak af.

[–]AstuteBlackMan3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy

How the hell is that weak. I'd simply next and not show my emotions.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (8 children) | Copy

How is it not weak? I'll not tolerate any dissing of my mother or father from some broad.

[–]AstuteBlackMan1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

And what the fuck are you gonna do? Go off on her and get mad? Waste of energy. F

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (6 children) | Copy

no, you just quit hanging out you dumb faggot

[–]AstuteBlackMan1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy

Bruh that's essentially what I said you stupid as hell

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

no it's not at all

how is saying 'hey, see ya around' and leaving the same as 'go off on her and get mad'?

you're the stupid one here

[–]AstuteBlackMan0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Well I'm not saying "hey see you around" in both instances it's similar because you're done with her and you move on

Fake ass alpha shit you on online

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

proof read lmao

[–]tossoutjack66 points67 points  (4 children) | Copy

Frame is BDE. It’s what cool people have. It’s a subtle confidence. It’s like how you act when you have an ace in the hole.

[–]krayono13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

What is BDE?

[–]bigbradhhhhh39 points40 points  (0 children) | Copy

Big Dick Energy

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy

No that’s not. It’s more general than that.

Frame is the “agreed perspective in the interaction”. It doesn’t have to come from you. It doesn’t have to come from anyone. It just is a framework that necessarily arises from human interaction. Two women can meet and start talking and a frame emerges from the conversation, without any BDE around.

Frame is not something you “have”, “keep”, “hold” or “lose”. It’s something you “are aware of” or “control”.

Having BDE/mojo/charm is something you exude. Something that sets a particular frame that is very beneficial to you. But that’s not all there is to the concept of frame.

Frame is not a tangible thing so it’s best understood by remembering what you do with it. It’s an exercise is high social skills. You have to (1) always be aware of the frame of an interaction, and (2) control it, but (3) resist giving the impression that you are trying to control it.

Watch videos analysing politicians speeches, lawyers defenses or sales pitches to be shown examples of how masterful frame control allows one to make an audience believe anything. They hint, deflect, powertalk, insinuate, manoeuvre their way into making themselves (or their client) looking competent, victimised, trustworthy, or moral.

You first want to learn to recognize this as it happens (aka, be aware of the frame). Next you’ll want to define what interaction subtext is most beneficial to you and influence it (aka, control the frame, for example among many other things by exuding BDE if the situation warrants so), and over time you want to learn to fine tune it so that it looks so real and congruent (aka, resist giving the impression that you are attempting to control the frame) that people are more eager to accept it.

[–]mnsmon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for this helpful summary! It sounds way more similar to what I heard about the concept of frame so far from blog posts and podcasts.

[–]bluefingerblue30 points31 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah pretty much. Frame is confidence in yourself, your world, your opinions, etc.

It doesn’t mean you have to be a stubborn dickhead, but at the same time, don’t change who you are just to please someone else.

Do what you like, talk about what you want to talk about, basically do you.

Girls will always try to pull you into their frame. It’s your job to keep the dynamic within your frame.

So for example a girl might text you and say “hi how was your day?” And if you think that’s a stupid question and don’t want to answer, you might respond with something totally unrelated like “you see the last episode of game of thrones? So trash”

Or you might propose plans you know are gonna be fun, and she might say “oh I hate that place. Let’s go to XX instead.” Odds are her plans are gonna suck. Trust your gut. Don’t follow her. So say “nah trust me it’ll be fun, we’ll check out XX another time.”

These are just simple examples, but you understand what I’m saying? Frame is pulling people into things on your terms, instead of playing on their terms.

[–]AdventurousParsnip2 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

And if you think that’s a stupid question and don’t want to answer, you might respond with something totally unrelated like “you see the last episode of game of thrones? So trash”

What if she responds with 'Uhm hello? That's not what I asked. I wondering how your DAY was.'

[–]bluefingerblue1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Double down. “Yeah and I’m asking if you saw the last episode of game of thrones”

This is the perfect opportunity to hold frame. The fact you asked your question tells me you still don’t totally get it.

[–]TigerTamingSword7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

One of the things that really helped me develop my frame is the concept of not seeking any particular reaction from anybody when I do the things I do or say the things I say. You do these things because you want to. If you are a shy and self conscious person, you are probably terribly concerned with how people receive your actions and words, which can be inferred by how much you pay attention to the facial expressions of those whom you address. In short, if you ever worry about having a "successful" social interaction, you worry too much. If you do not have the IDGAF attitude, you can't develop frame.

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy

Frame is the context and expectations inherent in the interaction.

Having frame control means that you define what the interaction is about, what the unspoken expectations are, and how it flows.

All speakers put content into a communication, but he who controls the process of the communication is controlling the "frame".

Think of it as a window that slides, exposing what is acceptable, and concealing what is not. You want to be the one moving the window.

[–]MajesticPitch[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ok so what about this example:- You're with a girl and you start talking about sex and stuff. She seems interested and sex talk between you two becomes less "taboo". Have you controlled the frame? You've made what is acceptable and what is not??

[–]TRP VanguardWhisper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy


[–]autonova35 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's the refusal to play anyone else's game.

[–]SlappaDaBayssMon3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You've got it my dude.

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

Frame is creating reality.

It’s imposing that reality upon others and having them accept it as reality.

[–]yoursislovesme2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

So you're telling me now reality can be whatever i want?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well ask yourself, who is it that creates reality for others? Do we just magically all agree upon viewing things the same?

[–]law_380 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Reality is often disappointing.

[–]syf3r2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think that's a great way of describing it. The "on YOUR behalf" part really gets you there. You serve you. Your actions reflect the love of yourself. That you respect yourself prior to others.

[–]Stoiced2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your frame is how you perceive the world; having a strong frame means you're absolutely confident in your views which can be achieved with the backing of solid logical facts and evidence.

If you have a strong frame over a person, anything you say will most likely be accepted by the person with less resistance.

[–]TheRedPillRipper1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I compare frame to your world view u/MajesticPitch.

How I view the world; how I frame that view is how I interpret information. The more information I have; the clearer my frame.

For example if my frame didn’t have TRP to aid in viewing interactions with women; I’d take women’s actions at face value. With the information TRP has provided; I frame the view of women’s actions quite differently.

This for me is the essence of frame. Clearly understanding the world around you so you can clearly see the way forward.

Godspeed and good luck!

[–]SouthernOhioRedsFan1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Indifference doesn't mean non-reactiveness, necessarily. You go down a rabbit hole of, "Am I reacting because I think she wants me to, or am I not reacting because I don't want her to think she can make me react?, etc.," which ultimately leads to self-consciousness, exactly what you were trying to avoid in the 1st place.

[–]LSDparade1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think here anyone has said it. It's about reacting logically and not emotionally. When someone insults you, you don't react emotionally. That's weak. it's about applying the right emotion given the context. If you can do that, you have frame.

[–]Stateofbeans1011 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Frame is also who's "world" is dominating a social setting. If you were a rich chad like 50 shades of grey, and you invite her to your apartment, take her to ruth chris, take her to lavish great gatsby-tier parties, she is stepping into YOUR frame. If you were a beta bitch and followed her around to her friends houses to watch netflix and drink franzia, you're stepping into HER frame (her world). Yea.

[–]thefks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was a student at a city last year and had a relationship for 4 months with a very independent woman. I wAs 25 and she was 32.
She grew up there so she had access to a lot more resources, social and not.
She knew rich people and parties and stuff. I naturally entered her frame. My circles were just students. That took me downhill until we broke up.
What else could I have done?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

An example with ugly shirt is a good one and must be remembered by all lurkers here. Yes, catering to woman's needs and wishes is quick way to lose frame and lose your value.

Recently my gf asked me to choose another pants for the trip abroad ("you never wear what I want you to wear!!" she exclaimed and beta in me for a split second asked "maybe I should dress how she wants.."). But I just looked at her funnily and said, well, I like my current pants and keeping them.

[–]Curedincel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sound good

[–]needoptionsnow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Frame is a fucking tetter totter.

[–]Elephant_7770 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I think you described it perfectly. I also just had an experience that confirms how important it is.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

Congrats, want a cookie

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

no I want a cookie

[–]haraishi0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I want the whole fucking jar

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You’ll spoil your dinner

[–]haraishi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


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