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Connection and Sex

by sash_northpointe | May 19, 2019 | askMRP

15 upvotes

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I thought I was making progress with the wife the last few months as far as more frequent sex. It’s now been a month since the last time.

We were getting ready to go last week and right before she asks, “why do you think we don’t have sex as much as you’d like?”

My reply, “To be honest, because you’re not attracted to me.”

Her response was that it was definitely not the problem and that she wanted more connection. On my first OYS post a couple weeks ago, someone mentioned connection was tingles. I’m not giving her tingles.

I’m reading the sidebar, back lifting 3x a week, working on not being the Nice Guy, so slowly building the attractiveness.

Has anyone else gone through a similar scenario and what are some ways you brought back that connection/tingles?

Thanks in advance.

TL;DR Wife needs more connection for more sex. How do I help bring back connection?


Post Information
Title Connection and Sex
Author sash_northpointe
Upvotes 15
Comments 37
Date 19 May 2019 11:47 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/239459
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/bqnv5m/connection_and_sex/
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Comments

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red17 points18 points  (10 children) | Copy

She doesn't need more connection.

Stop listening to what she says.

She means you're boring.

When is the last time you did something out of the ordinary sexually?

Fucked her in the car? Tossed her up on the washer during the spin cycle? Fingered her in the shower? Bit the nape of her neck in the kitchen? Ordered her on her knees right now? Bought a new vibrator? Tied her up?

Remember you have to add fun to the mix while you're grinding away at your shitty old self.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

She doesn't need more connection.

Stop listening to what she says.

She means you're boring.

​

I would add stop being boring outside the bedroom. Kino her, game her, tease her, fuck with her. I got this same test. She may not know what she is missing and wants. She says connection - she means you're not fulfilling her feelz. Be more fun with her. She'll probably get pissed about stuff... maintain frame. You're thinking wayyy too much about what she's doing or not doing. Dude - if marriage isn't fun why be in it?

[–]sash_northpointe[S] 0 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy

The last time out of the ordinary was the last time we had sex about a month ago. Rubbing her pussy through her clothes while she was asleep and woke up dripping.

Car - Never On washer - never Shower - honeymoon 7 years ago New vibrator - Christmas, used once Tied up - never

[–]InChargeManRed Beret10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

Rubbing her pussy through her clothes while she was asleep

Jesus Christ. How needy and creepy does that sound? No wonder she hasn't had sex with you again. You like some creepy molester uncle.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wait what?

This isnt cool?

But she can wake me up with my cock in her mouth?

Bullshit double standard.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The rubbing through the clothes is the creepiest. It's like he's trying to "trick" her body into not being repulsed by him.

[–]testy680 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That was hilarious!

[–]sash_northpointe[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I should explain better. You’re right, In that context it is creepy. It was while both asleep and spooning. So, maybe a little creepy still but not consciously.

[–]InChargeManRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You need to understand that you are a pussy, afraid to even directly show that you are sexual, and that is extremely unattractive. Your bullshit through the clothes rubbing is you expressing that you are uncomfortable embracing your own sexuality. You are deering with yourself, making excuses about why you wanted to touch her.

Like a walking pussy desiccant.

[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You're seeing the pattern.

[–]sash_northpointe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yes I am.

[–]SepeanRed Beret11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

On my first OYS post a couple weeks ago, someone mentioned connection was tingles. I’m not giving her tingles.

I don't know the context here, but on the face of it sounds like utter BS.

Frame, game, looks. That's alpha, that's high SMV, that's tingles.

Her response was that it was definitely not the problem and that she wanted more connection.

Don't listen to your wife. This is a shit test, to see if your frame is so weak you're going to do what she wants instead of what you want.

Don't. Listen. To. Your. Wife. Her words are not mean to make you or even her happy, they're meant to test you for fuckability - and for double effect, if you fail send you well along the beta bucks route.

[–]sash_northpointe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for the response.

I agree that I think it’s BS too.

I’m definitely working on my game, looks and the rest of my self. I’m still struggling on frame.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockBig Red Machine4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

She didn’t need a “connection” when she was getting pounded by Chad on spring back in college.

Faggot.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Let me get my crystal ball here, and divine everything I need to know to answer your question. Oh, shit, wait, crystal balls aren't real.

You're probably boring. You're probably not stirring up the excitement and drama she wants. Your problems may be superficial or they may run deep. Are you an AFC who gives off too much beta? Do you have any alpha moves?

[–]Carra230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sounds like me. Any example of alpha moves?

[–]sash_northpointe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My history is when I was single, I was an alpha. But when in a relationship would turn into a complete Beta. This includes most of my 9 year relationship with my wife. When reading NMMNG, it was me 100%. So have been starting to sort shit the last few months. I know I have a looooong way to go.

[–]ManguZa2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She cannot connect with you because she's not attracted to you, it mean the same thing but she prefer those words.

After all these years i know none women that can answer what it mean for her to "connect", except when they say this is doing what they want when they want lol.

[–]sash_northpointe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks man. Those were my thoughts too.

[–]0io-Tsundere8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

She said something, you listened, it sounds like you're completely in her frame.

It sounds like a you have a lot of work to do. A month is wayyyyyy too long. You should probably be initiating morning and night, I'm not sure how often you're initiating.

The better shape you get in and the less time you spend worrying about what she wants, needs, thinks, feels, and the more effort you spend on doing your own thing without her.... the faster her interest level will go up.

Frankly if she's willing to let you go for a month at a time without sex you should just start dating women on the side.

Reading the sidebar, lifting, and working on your personality flaws will certainly have a big positive impact on your life. You need to keep plugging away at it.

If you're initiating twice a day and getting shot down twice a day (14 times a week) it's really time to buy new clothes, start spending about 5 or 6 nights a week out of the house doing stuff on your own without checking in on her. You're basically a single guy with a roommate who isn't interested in you at this point. She should figure out pretty fast that she's going to be losing you pretty fast if she doesn't start acting like your wife and lover.

She'll feel a lot more connected to you if she's having sex with you three or four nights a week. If you're going to go without for a month at a time you might as well schedule yourself a three-week vacation to Hawaii without her and work on getting laid over there (logically.)

Don't get too discouraged, people have come back from a lot worse, but at this stage you really must start acting like you're a single guy who lives with his sister (or some other woman who isn't fucking him) and act accordingly.

[–]sash_northpointe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thanks for that.

I’m still plugging away and you’re correct, I have a lot of work to do.

I’ve been going monk the last few weeks as focussing on the gym and myself. Initiated a couple of days ago and got the talk I mentioned in my post and the promise of the next night. Fast forward to next night, we watched some porn, she came too quick and then gave a 5 minute blowjob. That’s pretty much it all month, including a week of Shark Week.

Appreciate the advice.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

To be honest, because you’re not attracted to me.”

Faggot answer looking for validation

she wanted more connection

Would she need better connection from Chad when she’s ovulating in a dirty bar with a back alleyway? You’re not there yet. You need physical and frame. Keep working at these, and quit giving faggot answers thatvput you in her frame

[–]sash_northpointe[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

You’re right. I didn’t consciously want to be looking for validation but can see how that looks in hindsight. I was just giving the reply of what I had been told from a commenter on my OYS that I believed was true.

Next time, I’ll STFU.

I struggle with frame and even how to keep it.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I struggle with frame and even how to keep it.

We all did and still do from time to time. Keep working at it

Yeah , not all the OYS “helpers” are there and have no business giving advice yet

[–]hack3geRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was just giving the reply of what I had been told from a commenter on my OYS that I believed was true.

Not sure who the fuck that was but that is just straight up wrong. Never tell a woman why she shouldn't or doesn't want to fuck you - unless you are playing push/pull and gaming her. This was straight talk and you made her drier than the fucking Sahara desert.

[–]JDRoedellRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Connection is woman speak for “emotion.” The more varied the better

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

No its not. Connection is woman speak for “you do not make my micro penis hard when I look at you.”

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Establishing an “Emotional Connection” With a Woman

[–]sash_northpointe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This is gold. Thanks for sharing!

[–]NoCoast820 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

We were getting ready to go last week and right before she asks, “why do you think we don’t have sex as much as you’d like?”

This whole situation speaks volumes, what does "getting ready to go" even mean?

Someone initiated sex it seems yet you guys are still talking. Who takes the lead in bed? There are a lot more nuanced things going on here about your overall relationship dynamics, but I am curious about how this small talk is interjected into sexy time.

[–]sash_northpointe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Basically, it was getting into bed and it’s freezing out so she was cold and wanted me to hug and cuddle until she got warm and that’s when the taking began.

I am the to initiate 99.9% of the time and she needs a lot of foreplay to get into the mood. Usually this is with some porn, hugging and touching. Even trying to give oral straight away has her bitching and complaining cause she’s not warmed up yet, which kills the mood.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Flowers and chocolate strawberry’s.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

To be honest

Oh FFS! Being honest right before sex is like....well I don't know what it is like, only that it is incredibly stupid!

what are some ways you brought back that connection/tingles?

I think Dread Game might work! If only there were some resources on using Dread Game in marriage!!!!

[–]sash_northpointe[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Yes, you’re right. It was fucking stupid.

I’m reading Blue Pill Professor’s book now.

[–]RedPillCoach0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I've got it! Being honest right before sex is like John Snow telling Grey Worm that he killed the Queen even though the Dragon carried off her body.

[–]sash_northpointe[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Wait? What? Jon Snow kills Danyrys? Ha

[–]YoureAreAnIdiot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

" it was definitely not the problem and that she wanted more connection. "

Why do you think she knows what she's talking about?



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