Why women don't tell you what they want

(Shortened for easier reading.)

Recently there were TRP topics asking "why do women deny their desire for a man who takes charge?". I posted an answer to that seeking it in the corner of evo psych, but here is another way of looking at it. Leading takes a lot more work than following, as I showed in my previous topic on partner dancing. A girl needs to keep this information out of her conscious mind in order to be able to live with her free-ride-getting self. In comes the hamster.

For example, when she's obviously upset about something and needs to be comforted in your strong man arms, she will say "it's nothing" when asked. This doesn't mean "it's nothing". It means "I don't want to FEEL LIKE a needy girlfriend so I don't want to ask you to cheer me up. YOU are supposed to initiate the conversation, because then it doesn't FEEL LIKE I'm taking your time and energy. When you keep asking and pleading with me to share what's going on, it eventually starts feeling like I'm doing YOU a favor by spilling it all out. That's perfect, because then I don't owe you anything but I still got what I wanted by pretending that it was what YOU wanted. So I get to feel good about myself, and I might even feel like YOU owe ME."

The hamster doesn't care whether or not she objectively is a shitty girlfriend. As long as she can make it FEEL and APPEAR like she isn't, that's all that matters.

The unsuspecting boyfriend just demands that she either tell him what's going on, or stop whining. The result is that, on top of her original bad feelings, she now gets feelings of guilt because she is forced to actually ASK him to help her. But wait, whose fault is it that she couldn't emotionally menstruate without feeling guilty? Exactly, the husband with his stupid insensitive ultimatum. Thanks for making it worse, assclown.

Obviously a smart man doesn't fall for this ruse. She wants something, she can take some responsibility and ask for it. But that also isn't easy for a girl. She'll try "communicating" her request to you in 4 stages:

1. She hopes you read her mind and volunteer to do the thing out of the blue.

2. If that doesn't work, she drops hints and hopes you will volunteer to do the thing "out of the blue".

3. If that doesn't work, she gets upset without stating the reason ("it's nothing") and hopes that, in your attempts to cheer her up, you will coincidentally include doing the thing.

4. If that doesn't work, she may or may not be direct with you, depending on how badly she needs you to do the thing. This card can only be used a limited number of times before she feels like a shitty girlfriend.

Basically, she does not state her wants overtly. She does it covertly or passive-aggressively so she doesn't have to remind herself (and others) that she's using people's energy.

Feminism is just this very same hamstering on a societal scale. They're using more than their share of society's energy to fulfill their excessive needs (in other words, getting female privileges) while bearing less than their share of responsibilities. But the hamster must maintain their delusional self-image, so it spins away this uncomfortable truth and insists they're "equals". The equality fairy tale is not just a cover story to fool us, it's also meant to fool them. Feminists truly believe in it, because otherwise they'd have to admit to themselves that they're parasites to society.

Now my question to you. I think most TRP'ers will more or less agree about how this hamstering works, otherwise I'm sure we'll hear it in the comments. The part I'd like to see debated is how a smart man should deal with this. Now obviously I know you're all Chad McThundercock with a harem of 20 girls who do everything for you while expecting nothing just so they can be in your presence for 5 minutes a week. But for the sake of argument let's assume you're a normal redpiller with a couple of plates or a girlfriend.

As examples here are two opposite viewpoints, obviously not the only ways to look at this:

• The David Deida approach. You accept that as a man, it's your job to have a surplus of energy from which you freely give to the people you like. Since you're going to be pulling more weight anyway, you might as well defuse the hamstering so she isn't upset about it. In return, you get rewarded by her "feminine energy" - she is happy, cute and grateful to you and looks up to you as her Man.

• The "you wanted equality, you get equality" approach. You know that you could easily replace her with another girl, she knows it, so regardless of all the hamster games she plays with herself - she had better demonstrate to you that she's worth your attention by putting in an equal amount of energy. If you teach her how to play guitar, she should bake you a cake. Or she should teach you how to fix cars, if you're into that kind of chick. Whatever.

Obviously it will matter how her SMV compares to yours. So TRP - where do you draw this line?