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5 month lifting progress after discovering wife's EA - want to set new lifting goals

by tom-anonymous | July 19, 2019 | askMRP

18 upvotes

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I started lifting 5-6 days a week after I discovered my wife became obsessed with another guy about 5 months ago. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I started making myself better both physically and emotionally. I found you guys and been reading for a while. The physical part seems to be easier than the emotional part, but I'm becoming a better version of myself everyday (which is what's important).

I feel great about my progress over the past 5 months, but I feel like I still have a long way to go. I'd like to set more aggressive goals for myself. Visualizing goals seems to help me make shit into a reality.

Based on my progress so far, what do you guys think a realistic goal would be for January 1st, 2020? Also, at what weights do you know when you truly arrived?

I don't know what my max's are because I've injured myself in the past trying to max out. So I stick to 3 sets of 8-10 reps and use that as my only indicator. Thanks in advance.

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5 month progress (Feb 2019 - July 2019)

​

Deadlift (3 sets of 8 reps) Before 135 lbs -> After 275 lbs

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Bench Press (3 sets of 10 reps) Before 105 lbs => After 205 lbs

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Squats (ass to ground 3 sets of 10 reps) Before 115 lbs => After 225 lbs

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Edit: I do other compound exercises and 20 minutes running on treadmill a day (5.5 mph).

​

Other Info:

Age: 46

Height: 6’0

Weight: Before 195 lbs => After 197 lbs

Body Fat: Before 25% => After 16%

Arms: Before 14.5 inches => After 16.5 inches

Legs: Before 22.5 inches => After 24 inches

Waist: Before 40 inches => After 35 inches

Calves: Before 14.5 inches => After 16.0 inches

​

BTW - wife notices my progress and is getting nervous. We have sex everyday (sometimes twice a day). She initiates 50% of the time. She often comments on how hot I look and seems anxious about me continuing to improve myself. Over the past few weeks my abs have popped out. I love it.


Post Information
Title 5 month lifting progress after discovering wife's EA - want to set new lifting goals
Author tom-anonymous
Upvotes 18
Comments 59
Date 19 July 2019 05:24 PM UTC (11 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/245996
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/cfae6e/5_month_lifting_progress_after_discovering_wifes/
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Comments

[–]RPeed42 points43 points  (17 children) | Copy

315lbs deadlift for you wife to stop fucking Chad

405lb wife will fuck you

450lbs your high school crush will call to say she was you and foolish but now recognizes you’re a god descended to walk amongst us in human form

495lbs you sublime and become a being composed purely of light.

[–]Cloudy_Pirate11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

After 500 lbs you go for the centaur babes.

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

No homo.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mmm centaurs.

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is exactly what I was looking for. Gonna make this 495 lbs shit happen.

[–]RPeed6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

Lol. You made good progress so far. Although your deadlift is pretty lacklustre.

This:

https://symmetricstrength.com/

Is pretty good for setting goals. 1000lb club I.e. total of all three lifts is not too far off. I’d shoot for that.

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is a really good site. Thanks man

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Also, are these reps or maxes?

[–]RPeed1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I can hit 315lbs x 15. Pretty high but it’s really the only way to be sure.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

What do you do after that warm up set?

[–]RPeed5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Sob.

[–]RP_PO1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol

[–]i-am-the-prize0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

495lbs you sublime and become a being composed purely of light.

funniest shit all day. +1

[–]weakandsensitive-2 points-1 points  (4 children) | Copy

315lbs deadlift for you wife to stop fucking Chad

not sure this is accurate.

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yea I'd switch the descriptions he wrote for 315 lbs and 405 lbs.

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

That won't change you have a faggot mindset

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Nope, but that's a separate set of goals.

[–]HIJKelemenoP2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Stop being so weak and sensitive babe.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy

Put your efforts into your diet.

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Regarding protein I'm eating my body weight in grams. You saying I should cut calories? Most days I'm at 3,000 calories per day, except for the 2 days a week I eat a small container of Ben & Jerry's which puts me at 4k. I stopped doing that...

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best way is to track your food and weigh yourself every day, morning and night, then average the number for the day. Then you can plot a line with your weight, and you can see the average slope of the line moving up or down.

It dosent matter if one day you eat dicks and icecream, it's more about your weekly average. Some people fast an entire day for a deficit.

Training is a small part, we go to the gym and crush it for max 2 hours. The diet is a constant every day process that anchors your commitment in the present. It's like the heartbeat that drives your whole routine. If you do it long enough, you just gravitate to the same foods and tracking isnt as much as an issue, but you have to put in the work, and cultivate that relationship with your body.

Diet makes the biggest difference. With or without drugs, it's the most important part.

And it keeps YOU healthy aswell.

[–]RP_PO0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do 1.5 x bodyweight

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don’t understand your goals clearly here. Are you asking what you should be hitting next? First impression is that you are ego lifting. Just there hammering the weight. It’s fine for where you are at but soon you will start paying that price.

315 is a big lift. Fuck the other guys. It is. Not many get that. Even fewer get to 500. But lets get to 315 first.

If your goal is to keep going then I seriously recommend to take a long view approach and start working on your accessory muscle game. Add in mobility to make sure you joints are loose and healthy. Guys that lift big (me included) have issues with flexibility and mobility.

If your goal is to just get swole then you want higher reps and sets. Your weight increase per lift might crawl but size will develop. Seems like you got that going on. Lower is building strength. Though I cut the middle ground for strength sports. I need some stamina for that. For instance today was 450 dead’s on a 4x6. Then again on blocks.

YOu can see my post about improving shoulder strength in preparation for heavier work. I am doing one on deadlifts. Yet I will emphasize here. If you are serious about deadlifting and squat you will start doing hyperextensions and reverse hypers. Nothing better to improve lower back strength. Don’t ignore your lower back. You will eventually regret it.

[–]boy_named_su2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I hit 1000 lb club a few months ago. Working on 1200 lb club now. And I'm older than you. If i can, you can

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

My mindset is that small improvements add up over time. Don’t kill yourself - that’ll just add to injury.

You do need to figure out from time to time what you are working toward. Is it raw strength? Cutting body fat? Aesthetics... what is it you want. Then research and plan appropriately. Review from time to time if you’re improving or not (I review every six weeks or so). If you aren’t then adjust.

Long term goals are great but for me, it’s much more important to have continuous improvement. Because these little things add up.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

May be the first time Ive said this, dude is trying to better himself and MRP coming off pretty brutal on this one. Understands his issues and is trying to fix them by lifting and being less cuck.

Could also be my trough day, hard to tell which.

Wait she was staking his house 10x a day and you are still with her?

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Honestly I don't regret posting this. I got a shit load of direct and to the point advice I needed to hear. I don't care if people see me doing this for ego or validation.

Yes I'm still with her but it's eating me inside. I know what I will eventually need to do. At this moment my stay plan is the same as my go plan. Focus on me and fix this weak ass habits and do a better job at owning my shit. I've heard Rolo say you need to mentally break up with your wife. I'm doing that now. I need time to work out myself, my finances and reduce as much impact on my children. This doesn't happen by going all Rambo on red pill and making decisions overnight that will affect my family's future forever.. I believe 100% I'm doing things the way I need to do it in order to get where I want to be.

[–]hack3geRed Beret5 points6 points  (20 children) | Copy

I am not sure how a guy who lifts for 5 months and makes decent progress could still be such a giant fucking pussy.

Your lifting is the least of your problems because you have realized it’s actually the simplest of the tasks at hand.

How you stop acting like a weak ass faggot mentality - now that is going to take some work on your part.

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 5 points6 points  (13 children) | Copy

I know I have a long way to go.

I admit I'm struggling with the mental part. Just lay it on me. When you guys say I have a weak ass faggot mentality, what exactly do you base that on?

[–]RPeed6 points7 points  (9 children) | Copy

Saying “my wife is limerent” instead of “my wife is a cheating whore who sucks and fucks her co workers”. Having oneitis. Being a dancing monkey for someone else. Asking anons how your dance moves are and how you can improve them.

Be glad I got there first.

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy

Now this I can't argue against (wife's attempt at cheating, oneitis, etc). Please see my other comment. My stay plan is the same as my go plan. It's just what time it is now.
Don't agree with the dance moves. I'll stick to the weight lifting category on reddit then.

[–]RoccoPinkman3 points4 points  (6 children) | Copy

I can't argue against (wife's attempt at cheating

Why do you keep calling it attempted cheating?

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Yea I get it. She cheated. I doesn't matter. AWALT

[–]RoccoPinkman6 points7 points  (4 children) | Copy

The point is be honest with your self. your calling it ‘attempted’ it almost seems like you can’t/won’t admit to your self she could be, was or is fucking somebody else. Once your honest the real work can start.

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

I always believed that and still do today. I know in my heart I probably won't get past it. I will never trust her again. In the meantime I'm getting my shit in order. Physically and mentally the best I can. Enjoy my home and having kids with me for a little more while. It's all about me now.

[–]RoccoPinkman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good start!

[–]RoccoPinkman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Check out the starting strength book, that’s a good way to progress your lifts. Tells you all you need to know.

[–]An_Actual_Politician1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You and I are in pretty similar situations. The good news is we're in the perfect place to improve and focus on ourselves. Keep up the improvement and the failures will be fewer and farther between.

[–]RPeed-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Only you know who you’re doing it for.

I’ve seen worse in the comments section though so: lift, sidebar, STFU.

I’d recommend the Rationale Male first.

[–]hack3geRed Beret3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

How about you start with how it’s clear you are a giant validation seeking faggot and go from there?

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I don't give a shit about validation. What I do give a shit about is the information I got from posting this. Especially the symmetrical strength app. What the fuck is reddit for if you can't post about things you're excited about? I'm competitive and I want to see where other people are at. Sadly I'm the biggest one at the gym in my tiny home town.

[–]hack3geRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ego too - never would have guessed that....

[–]hack3geRed Beret8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

PS - there’s no such thing as an emotional affair, chad fucking filled all her holes and she moaned and screamed and loved every moment of him cumming in her ass, mouth and all over her face.

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

I agree. The only difference is that's what would have happened had I not see the text messages that were leading up to that.

So being a pussy is staying with her? I can't argue you might be right. At this time my stay plan is the same as my go plan. Focusing on me, demoting her and enjoying having my kids in the house for at least the rest of this year until I decide what I truly want to do.

[–]RPeed6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

I agree. The only difference is that's what would have happened had I not see the text messages that were leading up to that.

Man it is soooo important to you that all of reddit knows your unicorn was not sullied.

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

No not at all. AWALT. I get it. People are saying she actually did it. In the end it doesn't matter. The intent was there.

[–]RPeed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

AWALT. I get it.

Not what I’m saying.

People are saying she actually did it.

Yes that. She did.

[–]Tbonesupreme0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Don't forget while working on yourself to also work on a custody case

​

Go to ALL the shit at the school, ALL the doctor's appointments, etc. Call a lawyer and see if they'll tell you what factors they use in your state.

​

Being a "good" dad isn't enough - you have to do all the shit mom does to stand a chance.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You could try the following site if you care about milestone; https://exrx.net/Testing/WeightLifting/StrengthStandards

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There's the 1000 club (1000 pounds deadlift/bench/squat)

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Then there's whatever you want for yourself

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Howe about more details on your wife’s obsession?

But, good progress so far. You already have dread going

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

I wanted to stay on the positive with my exercise, but that's a fair response. It was really fucked up. The guy was nice to her. On his last day of work, she told him that if she wasn't married, then she'd ask him out. The discussion let to him telling her she smelled good and wanted to kiss her body. Next thing you know, she's stalking his house. Driving by his house sometimes 10 times per day (never stopping). Also looking at his and his wife's social media every few hours. She invited him over to our house 3 days after his last day of work. She was even buying new see through panties the night I confronted her. I don't believe I'll ever get past this. However right now my stay plan is the same as my go plan. Get myself in shape both mentally and physically. Mental is the hard part. I always suffered from social anxiety. I'm working on it by talking to anyone and everyone I run into. It's getting better but I have a long way to go. The dread is a bit rewarding, but I this point I can never look at her the same. Sometimes I don't want the prize. She's stunning beautiful but this ruined it for me.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Ok, you’re doing it right. Keep at it.

How did she react when you confronted her? I’m assuming there’s no evidence she fucked him? I ask because these are important things for you to think about as to whether you will stay or go. Me personally, I’m gone, but you do you.

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

No evidence that she fucked him, and a lot of evidence that she didn't. At this point it doesn't matter. She had intent and would have. I was able to recover everything in the past 12 months including deleted text messages and social media activity, GPS, snap chat, you name it. I saw everything. When I confronted her she first pinned it on him saying he said he wanted to kiss her body and that she became obsessed because of the attention. Over the course of the 2 weeks she trickled truthed and couldn't explain her activity and that's when it all came out.

I'm going to own my shit and be honest about the fact that I spent 20 years focusing on my career and treating her like shit. Over the past year before this happened I didn't even come to bed until 2am. Hardly ever initiated sex with her. However she always has, especially when she ovulated. I was an ass. I don't blame her for wanting to fuck someone else after it's all said and done. But wanting and doing are 2 separate things. Because I do blame her for trying to take action.

What took me a long time to get over was the fact that she was capable of blind-siding me. That she didn't have the integrity to either tell me she either wanted a divorce or she was so unhappy that she thought about it seriously. That was the blue pill in me. The red pill in me believes all women would do what she did if they had a shitty husband who treated them like crap. So it's up to me to make sure this doesn't happen again. And when I say that I mean not allowing a woman to affect me the way she did. She knows if this happens again I'm gone without discussion. Because right now I fixed my shit with her over the past 5 months.

There's no point in my thinking about this shit anymore. It doesn't help me become a better man. However this entire experience has given me fuel for the first time to become a better man.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The red pill in me believes all women would do what she did if they had a shitty husband who treated them like crap.

Kind or right, but the deep rep pill truth is any woman is capable of fucking Chad under the perfect circumstances...some much more readily than others. But, yes... if you are ignoring her, not initiating, and not hitting the gym... it becomes more likely. Don’t blame yourself completely

There's no point in my thinking about this shit anymore. It doesn't help me become a better man. However this entire experience has given me fuel for the first time to become a better man.

The point was to determine whether or not it’s something you could get over. So, good, you told her the consequences if it happens again.

Keep your foot on the gas!

[–]PillUpAss9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

never stopping

Whew.... close call man. Imagine if she’d stopped! Maybe she would have let him smell her some more! Or give some atm, who knows?

All fun aside - Keep immersing yourself in the mental part of this journey, which is at least 2/3 of it, probably more. The more you read the sidebar, the more you lift and eat right, the more you lurk here - the more it all becomes part of you, or should I say exposes the real you like never before.

Even though lifting makes you more attractive, the real benefit is actually frame. You are moving metal when you lift. Metal isn’t soft, it doesn’t forgive and you need to out will it to be its master. Now replace that with flesh outside the gym. Flesh that usually can’t move metal worth a shit. It ain’t shit. It has no frame compared to yours.

I meet arrogant CEOs all the time. They are used to power and having power over those that interact with them. I easily put them in their place. They see the steel in my eyes and feel it in my handshake when I let them know this is MY interaction. My will is mandatory. As a result, my company is on track for a 5x growth year now in the 8 figures.

Spend some time imagining and designing your life without your wife. Get clarity on how you’d operate and post in OYS. Is that life better than your current one? If your answer isn’t “it’s way better” or “at bare minimum as good” then you aren’t there yet.

[–]tom-anonymous[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your post here has the most meaning for me. I'm going to read this everyday. To be honest I was always afraid to imagine my life without her, but I'm ready to start doing that now. I'm looking at this as a marathon. I'm not going to change bad habits overnight, but I will work my ass off to do it everyday. Thank you.

[–]Eminencemiddle1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you wear condoms when you fuck your soon to be ex??

[–]screechhaterRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You wouldn’t believe my lifts and honestly I don’t give a fuck what you think they should be. Got it ?

Take a deep breath. Look at your stats. What do you think of you ?

Frame, mission, abundance and OI are fucking huge to go with your physical growth.

Great work. Time to lift weights with the mind. OYS.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You're first goal should be the 1000 lb club. Your lifts are mediocre all around. Google it.



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