32 y/o 6 ft, 186 pounds.
Deads: 365, squat: 275, Bench: 265. MMA, BJJ, Muy Thai 3-4 times a week. Competing in a few months.
Reading several books, read the side bar, etc.
Yesterday, I decided that my wife and I needed to thoroughly clean the apt because it was getting a little out of hand. (we both come from households where growing up, our parents were not good at keeping a clean house, so we made it a point to do everything we could to keep our home clean).
I tackled certain tasks and she did certain tasks as well.
She cleaned the kitchen counters, the island, the stove, etc.
We finished cleaning and a an hour or so passed and I decided to make some food, while she meal prepped for herself.
I used the stove and made the slightest mess. Shit test 1 It was literally just a bit of grease splatter. Instant shit test. bitch bitch bitch, moan moan moan about how she just cleaned and that she feels like it was a waste of time that she just cleaned it, etc. She rambles on for 5 min or so while I have my face buried in my breakfast, pretty much ignoring her. She finally stops and starts looking at me and I calmly said, " It will get cleaned, once you leave the kitchen" (She had stuff on the stove as well). Went back to stone silence and she just stood there for several mins or so while she continued prepping. I didn't make eye contact, didn't acknowledge her, etc. This went on for well over 5 min. I finished my food and went into the office. Another 5 min passes and I can hear her put down a kitchen utensil and I hear a knock on my office door.
She walks in and instantly starts apologizing for being controlling and being upset about it. She vents her apology for a few min and I barely acknowledge her. She said she knows she gets controlling sometimes and she apologizes for doing so. I basically just said "Okay" and she asked me if I was mad. I said, "no why would I be."
She gave me a kiss and went back to finishing her meal prep. I finished what I was doing in the office and went back into the kitchen. Talked to her for a bit and joked around/had some convos.
She finished and we got ready to go to our apt pool. On our way out the door, she asked me again Shit test 2/continuation "are you mad, you seem off?" I said, "no not at all, why?". She said "you just seem quiet after the issue earlier". I brushed it off, I might have been a little quiet, but it wasn't from a place of butt-hurt. I really just didn't have much to say to her.
I brought headphones with me to the pool and listened to a pod cast while she read. We barely talked for the entire time we were there. Her mom came to hang with us, I stayed with them for about 20-30 min and then I went back to the apt alone. I really didn't want to hang out with them. I tell them I had a bit too much sun and that I'm gunna go upstairs.
Her mom leaves, she comes back up and we discuss dinner. She tells me to stay busy for an hour or so, she wants to surprise me with a really nice home made dinner.
The dinner was amazing. She loves to cook, so I usually eat really well, but this meal was over the top good.
During dinner, I told her I want her to wear her lingerie outfit that she has (hoping to have sex after we digest dinner) and she passively says "I don't want to wear it" (we had unexpected sex during the day on Saturday that she initiated, so she probably thinks shes off the hook for a few days/week, it was also semi starfish sex because we were short on time). So I shrugged it off and said "okay". She has been self conscious about her weight the past 2 weeks. She went away on a business trip and went HAM on the eating. She was bloated, etc from the trip, even a week after being home. (Which I noticed but didn't care).
I thanked her for the great meal and we start up a multi-episode documentary to watch, which we got about half way and got into bed. (Sunday's are lazy days for us, I like to recover from my MMA and lifting workouts).
We watched 2 of the 8 episodes before we got into bed, my wife skips ahead to like episode 6 and it is about sex, or so I thought. While picking it she says "ohh this one is about sex" in like a very interested voice while looking at me.
It was def a blue pilled script to begin with (the scientific portion was interesting, but the host was such a beta faggot), but it wasn't cringe worthy until this portion of it. It was basically saying that women aren't the only ones who should look into contraception options and that men should do it too. The undertone was shaming men into making women the focus on contraception. I tried keeping my mouth shut, but I couldn't help it. I basically told her how ridiculous this is and that they show the most beta male men on these shows to shame men. She didn't really acknowledge my comment.
The documentary ends and she makes a mention that Shit test 3 "when her and I are done having kids, she wants me to get a vasectomy". I said "no way in hell and that if her and I were to split, I want to be able to keep my options open."
She didn't like this answer and basically repeated what I said. I said "yep". She said goodnight, I said goodnight and gave her a kiss and turned over. No sex, she's now pissy, etc.
Wake up this morning and she seems normal, I woke up with the reset in mind and she leaves for work, I go to Jiu Jitsu, haven't heard from her since.
I trying to turn this semi starfish sex into more fun. She used to love when I went down on her, usually orgasm'd every time. She's into butt plugs, but we haven't used them in awhile because she "feels constipated".
She's felt "constipated" for weeks now. I took all of the toys, put them in a bag and put them in the closet. She recently asked where they were (not while we were having sex) and I basically said that we don't use them, I put them away.
Half assed BJ's just to get my dick wet to be able to stick it in easier. She uses a vibrator while I fuck her missionary, she orgasms very strongly. I flip her over for doggy to finish and that's that. Move on with the day.
Are these decent/good ways to handle shit tests as a newbie red piller?
In what ways can I handle the lingerie situation? I can tell she feels guilty about going crazy on her business trip and over eating. ( She isn't fat, but she does need to lose about 10 lbs).
Thoughts on the vasectomy response? She is obviously trying to call the shots. I know vasectomy's are reversible, but she is obviously saying it to try to be in her frame.
I really don't know what else to do to get her to be sluttier again. I've been soft dreading her. I stopped kissing her as much, stopped saying I love you unless she says it, I stopped being physical with her, unless I'm initiating sex. I do my best to stay busy. I'm caught between doing more kino and completely withdrawing attention. I think sometimes I come off looking needy when I kino too much. Sometimes when I try to hug her from behind and jam my dick into her back, she just tells me to stop and pushes me away.
Should I withdraw even more attention?
Any other tips on how to continue dread and to get her to be sluttier? I know people will say that I need to flirt with not only her more, but other girls in front of her. There hasn't really been a situation in a long time where I could even do this. Her and I don't go out to the bars or anything at all really.