Do young people feel pressured to have sex?

diffdedbed · 2019-01-16T19:25:13+00:00

How would you go about changing the dynamic to narrow the gender disparity?

Do we want men to value their virginity more or women less?

peterlongc · 2019-01-16T20:44:55+00:00

why should we care to narrow all disparities between the sexes?

maybe we should be content to understand the cause of the disparity and better appreciate the way that the two sexes might complement one another as a result of their differences.

the causes of the disparities are well known and maybe someone else will be inclined to repeat them

LowCreddit · 2019-01-16T19:35:52+00:00

Before social dynamics, we have to talk about biology. For all animals, the one who spends more time raising the children has more leverage in selecting mates. Since mammals don't lay eggs, the females of the species generally get this leverage and are more valued sexually. Humans are possibly the most monogamous species on Earth. They also spend nearly the longest time maturing. This means the effects are even more apparent for us.

Social dynamics right now are hugely favoring female promiscuity like never before. The only way to push this further lower the costs of sex to women. This means more contraceptives, abortion, and money for single mothers. The question is if that is what we really want to do.

justaformerpeasant · 2019-01-17T01:00:05+00:00

Teens and young adults are absolutely pressured to have sex, even if they know it's not good for them to be sexually active at that point in their lives.

Consider the number of jokes that are made about people who don't have sex partners or are even still virgins by choice.

We also have the indoctrination that people push on teenagers, such as the ideology that "teenagers are going to have sex, it's inevitable". In reality, it's not "inevitable" for teenagers to have sex. People want to act like teens are just walking hard-ons with no self-control, but it's pretty insulting to suggest that they're not in control of themselves at all and that their dicks and pussies have brains of their own. When you treat someone like they're abnormal long enough, they're going to try and be "normal" so they don't get looked down on by the rest of society. For teens and young adults, to be normal is to be sexually active, regardless of whether they should be or not.

Society in general, but particularly liberal society, pressures teenagers and young adults to have sex and if they don't, they're weird and worthy of being made fun of. Fat shaming is a horrid thing, according to liberals, but virginity shaming? Totally okay.

SkookumTree · 2019-01-16T19:41:40+00:00

They should. If you dont bang by the end of hs you're probably well set into "weird", end of college is incel territory

[deleted] · 2019-01-16T21:11:38+00:00

Do young people feel pressured to have sex?

Only if their partner is ugly. :P

beachredwhine · 2019-01-16T20:06:29+00:00

Of course young people feel pressure to have sex, cause all their teen friends are doing it, and the opposite sex from them is pressuring them into doing it. But don't forget the most important reason! Young boys and girls badly want to have sex as well.

What we should change is this bizarre idea that at the magically arbitrarily chosen age of 18 teens somehow become adults. We should change this idea that young women should be given no guidance except how to put a condom on a banana. We should stop stigmatizing late twenties guys who build a life and then try to court teenagers for marriage, which has been the norm for all of history only changed by the baby boomers who welcomed the brave new world of drug fueled hedonism and nihilism.

Why the fck would I care about making every single human on earth exactly the same? You bugmen make me sick.

[deleted] · 2019-01-16T19:51:51+00:00

How would you go about changing the dynamic to narrow the gender disparity?

Teach abstinence! No, just kidding.

women should shame virginity or less sexual experience less.
men shouldn't see having sex early as a status and use this to mock other men.
virginity shouldn't be viewed as something that you give to someone.

However, you can't have 2) without 1). The leverage comes from women valuing men with little or absent sexual experience less which in turn causes men to value men with little or absent sexual experience less which causes pressure for men to engage in early sex which causes pressure for women to engage in early sex.

But it's unclear to what extent a teenager actually looks forward into the future thinking "I'll be worthless if I don't have sex now" so I wouldn't say this really applies to teenagers but early adolescence I could see this being a factor in going for early sex. It seems to be better to get early experience with stuff rather than regret not having experience later on in a culture that values experience. If experience is a non-issue then this would of course differ.

It might also be the case that perfect sex is currently overvalued compared to the romantic intimacy that comes with relationships but I don't know. I'll leave that to somebody else.

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MrShakedown1 · 2019-01-16T20:06:30+00:00

No we don't. Men aren't' depressed cuz they are shamed by all friends and their mother they are still virgins.

sublimemongrel · 2019-01-16T21:32:02+00:00

You get both it just comes from different places. But on both sides it wasn’t like some big source of confusion or struggle for me personally.

Dash_of_islam · 2019-01-16T21:42:05+00:00

Did not feel pressured.

But obviously when I got the chance when I was 14 at camp I took it. Fell in love with her but we both wanted it. The hormones have a mind of their own.

I can't imagine many guys need to be told sex is good. Girls have higher standards so I can see that some of them are pressured by a boy to do it when they might be pining for someone better?

Maybelowsmv · 2019-01-16T22:16:38+00:00

Yes, I feel like im "behind" in life simply because I havent experimented as much as other people do in my age group But im not falling under the pressure because i cant bring myself to force experimentation with people I simply do not like

But yeah... For women, who you give your virginity away to seems to be a big factor in destroying or creating fantasies

[deleted] · 2019-01-16T23:05:43+00:00

What do you think the social/biological dynamics at play are that result in the gender disparity?

Teens want sex. That is it. The social stigma may pressure some women to lose their virginity early, but it does not compare to the pressure to remain chaste. Their hormones get the head of both genders.

How would you go about changing the dynamic to narrow the gender disparity?

I wouldn't. It is just a emerging characteristic of our reality.

OfSpock · 2019-01-17T00:36:19+00:00

I find this encouraging. The last survey I read on th4e subject said 50% of women regretted the way they lost their virginity.

nevomintoarce · 2019-01-17T06:53:37+00:00

By other young people.

KikiYuyu · 2019-01-17T11:52:35+00:00

Maybe boys and men should value their bodies more in general, instead of girls and women valuing theirs less. It's kind of ludicrous to think our bodies aren't valuable. We only get one of them, that's as high value as it gets.

[deleted] · 2019-01-17T14:01:07+00:00

Men and woman are different. I don't think this is a bug that needs to be fixed.

That said, in general I think people should be more laid back in their attitudes to sex and stop treating it like a big deal. It's fun for sure. But whether you lose your virginity at 16 or 21 or whatever shouldn't be such a huge deal. If I had the power to change something here that's what I'd change. Reduce all these hangups people have over sex.

I do think there's a lot of pressure for teenagers to lose their virginity asap or they'll be considered a loser. I think this is stupid and people should just have sex when they feel like it, not to give into peer pressure.

i_have_a_semicolon · 2019-01-17T16:57:00+00:00

I think it's the parents responsibility to teach their children how to handle this situations. SEX is often taboo and no one wants to think their innocent little girl wants to go slut it up. But she does. Or at least, that's what she thinks she wants to do. Get over it and talk to her.

[deleted] · 2019-01-18T05:24:44+00:00

Idk I lost my virginity intentionally to someone I didn't give a fuck about so I wouldn't be emotionally attached to my "first time". Ironically I still feel like I haven't had sex, despite having 4 or so partners.

When I was a virgin, I just remembered wanting to feel like I was fuckable. I wanted to prove I could get it. So I went out and got it. Yawn. Now, I wouldn't say I feel shamed for not being a virgin, but I go to a non traditional high school. I'm finishing up, and all my classmates are basically fortnite playing virgins. It used to make me feel bad that I was so ahead of my male peers, but they're all like little brothers to me tbh. I know I'm not a megawhore but I'm not innocent either, I wouldn't say I felt significant amount of pressure to have sex when I was a virgin or to stay a virgin. Guys didn't really give a shit about what I did (like I mentioned, non traditional school) and since there was virtually no dating happening at the school my sex life was up on the table to talk about but none of the virgin boys seemed too disgusted by my sex life. The girls at my school were all way ahead of the boys at that school too, and most of them have similar experiences to me.

I think there's not ENOUGH pressure for young people to fuck nowadays smh (I'm joking.. halfway). When I was high at school one time (I turn into harvey weinstein when i smoke), I propositioned one of the cuter guys there. He was like "I don't skip class, we should go on a date first, what are we".He was asking for a title like WWE. I know what you're thinking, I'm not ugly in the slightest. I've had guys who were not from my upside down ass backwards school drive hours to see me even without me acting like Harvina Weinstein. What's in the water these days?

Title	Do young people feel pressured to have sex?
Author	Mr_Smoogs
Upvotes	7
Comments	44
Date	January 16, 2019 7:23 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/agooa0/do_young_people_feel_pressured_to_have_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/do-young-people-feel-pressured-to-have-sex.257791 https://theredarchive.com/post/257791

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